Thanks for all the opinions ladies.

Nephew got his big gift and I think a very big talking to because I have actually seen a slight improvement from him, either that or his sister stole all his bad behaviour. I have never seen behaviour like hers from any kid like I did at our house on New years day. SIL is at a loss as what to do. DD1 was so scared and hid away crying which made me sad that it had that effect on her. SIL and I parent very differently so I don't think anything I would say would help though.

Anyway that is off topic. Thanks again.