I'm an only child, and my parents do "joke" that they are leaving everything to me. But for me, I'm happy they are having fun. It's the personal items that mean more - a photo of my great-great-grandfather and his 4-in-hand and Queen Victoria with a written account of the history. My grandmothers' rings and grandfathers' war medals.
If property was handed down from previous generations, I would expect that to continue to be handed down, otherwise I reckon it's all for the enjoyment now.
With life expectancies increasing, I'd be a very silly person if I was relying on an inheritance from my parents or ILs.
I would rather cherish life experiences with my family than financial gain from their death. If anything it would be my children ( that I'm fortunate enough to have children) that would benefit from properties the parents have acquired.
When I was little Nanna used to take me around the house and show me the things she would leave me. That's 20 odd years ago and Nanna is still going strong. My other Nanny writes on the back of gifts who gave it to her so it can be returned eventually. God love her.
I think the greatest gift is time with our loved ones. That is priceless IMO.
I too see it as a bonus and don't expect anything from my parents or inlaws, but I do think parents need to be mindful of HoW they divide their property/inheritance and that all parties understand why/ their decisions. My inlaws have both fallen out with their siblings due to uneven distribution of inheritance which was unexpected and perceived as unfair by the others. They were the " winners" mainly due to being the primary carers etc or the other sibling was perceived to "need" it less which caused massive **** fights... I think unless their are extenuating circumstances it is important to be fairly "even" or be perceived to be so iykwim? I certainly plan to discuss the terms of my will with my beneficiaries and outline my decisions so there are no "surprises"
My parents have already told me that they intend leaving everything to my sister who's on a disability pension and really the amount of money we're talking would make a big difference to her but not much to me so I'm fine with that.
My grandad threatens to put us in the will all the time - he says there's nothing but bills
I don't expect to get anything from my parents as they don't own a house and we're in a much better situation than they are. Of course I'd like photos, but I'd prefer them over any inheritance. DH's parents are quite well off, but if we do end up getting some kind of inheritance from them I hope it's airtight in their will - do NOT like the thought of having to deal with one of his sisters, who would be determined that DH got nothing. Again though, would prefer them to an inheritance
I think it is definitely only a bonus. I really can't figure out this whole inheritance thing. Fair enough if it is life insurance etc that is payable after you die anyway, but if your parents have accumulated some wealth, why should it all automatically go to us kwim? I would rather see my parents live out their lives in some comfort and not worrying about how they will pay the power bill that month instead of keeping it all for us kids.
The way my parents are going there won't be anything left for us They are SKIS through and through! (stands for Spending the Kids Inheritance if you didn't know).
I think receiving an inheritance is more like a bonus. Like Trills I'd rather their money paid for their comfort in old age! I have a long standing joke with my dad. He reccons that when he's old a decrepit he's coming to live with me so I can wipe his arse three times a day. I say that I'm selling his house to fund his stay in the Old Farts Retirement Asylum
When my Mum passed, my brother made a big song and dance about inheritance. He pretty much went against the will and took EVERYTHING. I didn't care for various reasons. I walked away with a couple of items which held sentimental value to me... and you can't buy sentiment.
My Dad works hard for the money he has. I encourage him to spend it. Dad does have a life insurance policy which is worth a fair bit... but I anticipate that it will go towards funeral costs and I really don't expect any of it to come to us. The reality is, my Dad will probably end up in a nursing home and so his house will have to be sold to fund that. We would also have to tap into his super to pay for it. The life insurance would probably pay out an outstanding debts he has that we don't know about as well his funeral... at least any portion I got would because my siblings and step brother are all too selfish to think of those things.
My DH is an only child and often tells me that the only way we will be able to afford to buy a home is when his parents die. I have NO idea what his parents are worth and don't care. I mean, I have an inkling about their financial standing but I suspect that is only the tip of the iceberg. But it is all irrelevant. I want them to enjoy their lives and to not have to worry about their health. FIL has had surgery which cost them a bucket load which he'd probably still be on a waiting list for in the public sector. I want them to be healthy and happy to enjoy time with their granddaughter before they pass. I don't care about the money. DH and I both work. We are both capable of working. We are responsible for our own finances and happiness - not our parents!
My cousins and sisters and I are set to inherit a rather hefty sum of cash from our Great-Grandfather when he dies, but I dont expect to inherit much from my parents if anything at all. And I dont expect that Archie will inherit much from me, he certainly wont inherit anything from his useless father.
I'm torn. Yes, it's a bonus, not to be an expectation. I would rather my parents enjoyed their money while they were alive. Having said that... if anyone was going to inherit from my parents, say, I'd expect me and my sister to get most of it. We're the children. I would be hurt if one particular person who isn't my sister received as much as I did (or more, knowing Mum).
With inheritance, it's not up to the inheritees to decide who gets what, if anything. But the inheritor should give to children over extended family or friends, except in exceptional circumstances, such as estrangement. Children don't even need to be kept the same... but if you're giving, say, 100 grand to your brother then your children need to get more than that each.
Just cos I can see that happening with me and it isn't an expectation that I get something from a death, but it is an expectation that I don't inherit a mortgage and no house to go with it.
LZ - why? If people can spend their money how they like when they're alive then surely they can leave it to whoever they like too which means if they want to leave more to someone other than their kids then it's entirely their choice.
I think it depends entirely on the situation.
Our situation for example : My parents I couldn't careless if the leave anything to me or not. My brother will probably still be living with them when they both go so I think things will be left to him
Dh parents ont he other hand ~ I would be FURIOUS if they short changed us. Dh's family property will be divided 5 ways and we're set to inherit the original home and most of the original buildings. I don't care about the machinery etc but as WE are living in and restoring the house (paying for rent and to fix things) as part of the agreement that this is what WE will inherit, I EXPECT that to be the case when D-Day comes. Especially considering the 3 older siblings all had their time here and walked away when things got tough. The 1 younger sibling will inherit the other house and the dairy shed. Older three are set to inherit quite a bit of land each.
So normally I would think anything extra is a bonus with the exception of the old house that we are paying for, I expect that it wll be left for us seeing that we are the only ones stupid enough to want to stay and fix it up (after 30 years of neglect)
My family are old school London dockers who have many items that are passed through the family (my wedding band is my grandmothers' grandmothers dated 1829) so i guess there are a few items of jewllery that i know will be passed to me (being the only girl too including all cousins) but that is the tradition and history of the family.
with regards to cash and property! who knows what will be i wish my mum would spend it on herself but i guess we live in a family that has passed things on for generations. Another important thing for us is that when a member passes their plot and funeral has been paid and chosen by them, morbid i know but again just how we do things.
so i totally see it as a bonus, but only hope that i could provide the same for my children when i am in the position. im sure as i get closer to the end i would want to know that i was leaving still providing for my family (IYKWIM)
Mum has not spoken to her IL's for over 25 years and reminds me all the time of what i could get from them as they only have my brother and I and i hate hearing that, although we believe it will go to charity (cat home)
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that I'm fortunate enough to have children) that would benefit from properties the parents have acquired.
They are SKIS through and through! (stands for Spending the Kids Inheritance if you didn't know).
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