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Thread: HELP! What option would you choose??

  1. #1

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    Default HELP! What option would you choose??

    After two Great hospital births and one Perfect homebirth (that ended as a unplanned free birth as MW just couldnt make it (10 min labour)). Just looking at our options and i must admit i dont really like any of them...

    Another $4000 on a HB that the MW wont make?? That will be a total of almost $9000 on unassisted births???

    Be induced at hospital at 36weeks and the baby have steriods??
    OBs solution to my early (around 36-38+week bubs) and quick births!

    Have a planned free birth?? Really really seems a bit silly in this day and age to PLAN not to have someone there, but DH and i did it on our own last time and it was lovely.

    Also if we have a freebirth, who does all the paperwork for you? Do i have to go to hospital anyway??


    Sit in hospital for a few weeks waiting on bubs to come but then DH will miss the birth because it will be quick??

    Or have it in the car on the way to hospital??

    Or call and ambulance and have my birth interupted by two people that may have NEVER been at a birth??

    Its so upsetting to think that i have such easy/boring/normal births and there still isnt a solution for me??



    Any comments either positive or negative would be helpful, thank you!

  2. #2

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    Hi hun i would go with what you feel most comfortable with, my first daughter was born at home on the bathroom floor breach, i guess you would call it an unplanned freebirth as i was home alone and the ambulance didn't make it in time.

    I chose to have DD2 in hospital and this time round i went in the minute i had regular contractions, both my labours were quite quick.
    DD1 9hrs labour total BUT she was out 20min after my waters broke with only 15min pushing and DD2 was a 5hr total labour out 8min after my waters broke.

    The OB suggested me being induced at 38wks as he would prefer i be in hospital due to the fast nature of my 1st, i said NO and my MW agreed, there was no reason to do this i just needed to be more aware of my own feelings and go to hospital when i felt i needed to rather than when they said.

    Sorry i prob haven't helped at all, i think you just need to go with what you feel more comfortable with and follow your own instincts, i was told though that often a quick labour can be just as distressing for a baby as a long hard labour, so i think it's a good idea to atleast let the hospital know of your plans and be ready to head in no matter what, maybe some one like Allan can give you some ideas.

    GL with it all, it's always a hard choice.

  3. #3

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    Yes i have booked into the hospital and have talked with my old MW so i have all options covered. I would love to think that i could plan ahead but really DS birth was a straight 10mins. I felt funny and asked DH to stay with me, he was about to go and make us some tea. Then i had a contraction, it was full on and i knew we needed to call the MW. Then DS was born, we called the MW to say that baby and placenta had been born. We looked at the time between both calls and it was 10mins! There is just no way to know if id have anymore warning this next time. DS was born in his waters.

    DD2 birth was 2hours but really only 12mins and my first DD was 6hrs in total.

    Have hear it can be just as distressing for bubs but i am lucky. All mine have been born early and very healthy! Fingers crossed i get that this time too!

    Thank you for taking the time to respond. A breach free birth for your first! I remember reading your birth story, amazing!

    Yes i am hoping Alan might see this!

  4. #4

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    Tegam, I can totally understand why you're torn about what to do. Its great you've got such a great track record with straightforward births. It would be a shame to feel like you had to go to hospital just in case when homebirth is such a lovely experience and its likely you'll have a quick labour again. Having said that, every labour is very different, I guess you do need some degree of preparation if you need to call on some more support during the labour and birth IYKWIM?

    Could you chat to your IM about the cost? I guess their fees aren't just for the actual birth - as you would know their antenatal & postnatal support is gold standard. Maybe they would be negotiable on their costs if they happen to miss the birth again or its really quick? I know a colleague of mine had such a straightforward birth - the midwife was totally hands off the whole time, she kind of watched from a distance - and she was generous enough not to charge them the full fee because she didn't really feel like she actually did any work! Or you could consider having someone at home with you like a doula or a friend who has been through other births - just in case you need some more support or that extra pair of hands if you get concerned about something?'

    to the OBs suggestion.


  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by *Infinity* View Post
    Tegam, I can totally understand why you're torn about what to do. Its great you've got such a great track record with straightforward births. It would be a shame to feel like you had to go to hospital just in case when homebirth is such a lovely experience and its likely you'll have a quick labour again. Having said that, every labour is very different, I guess you do need some degree of preparation if you need to call on some more support during the labour and birth IYKWIM?

    Could you chat to your IM about the cost? I guess their fees aren't just for the actual birth - as you would know their antenatal & postnatal support is gold standard. Maybe they would be negotiable on their costs if they happen to miss the birth again or its really quick? I know a colleague of mine had such a straightforward birth - the midwife was totally hands off the whole time, she kind of watched from a distance - and she was generous enough not to charge them the full fee because she didn't really feel like she actually did any work! Or you could consider having someone at home with you like a doula or a friend who has been through other births - just in case you need some more support or that extra pair of hands if you get concerned about something?'

    to the OBs suggestion.

    I was so luck that even my DH had the same reaction to the OB suggestions as you did. Im mean i understand why its an option, i just dont like it!

    I really couldnt have a doula or friend cause i dont think they would make it either...

    Also in a small way i dont realy think i want anyone there, just becauseit was so lovely with DH last time (but would havegone the option of having a MW in another room maybe??)

    Was going to have a chat with my MW about maybe just the post natal care?? Then the support is there if i need it, the paperwork is taken care of and the cost should be less. Just not sure she will go for it as the $$$ arein the birth, Her paperwork says that you pay for the birth no matter if she misses it or not!

  6. #6

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    By the way Infinity how is your little girl?

  7. #7

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    That's a tricky situation! I can understand not wanting to pay for a HB if you're actually likely to get a freebirth. My worry would be ante/post-natal care. CAn you get that at a reduced price maybe? Maybe a differetn midwife might be willing to do it that way, if she isn't? It's worth asking anyway.
    You say just post-natal, but what about prior to the birth, are you comfortable doing that alone too? I guess you can always rock up at hospital if you feel something is untoward. Actually it should be possible to hire a midwife for post-natal services alone.

    I wouldnt' be keen on that OB's suggestion either!

  8. #8

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    I just thought that i would see the OB until after the 20week scan to rule out most things, then move to GP and the hospital visits for the ante natal stuff. Its the 4th time i have done this so i dont feel that i need my hand held that much. I know i dont need the GCTest as i passed it the first two times. So its really just the BP, isnt it. Then the hospital will feel for bubs and i am feeling movement so there isnt a lot left for ante care??

    Ill look more into the post natal stuff andill contact more MW if mine isnt cool. She is really lovely so there is hope. The problem is there arent a lot of MW around..

  9. #9

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    Yeah, I guess you want to keep an eye on BP, which your GP can do, maybe also fundal height, just in case of to much fluid or something like taht. You might also want to keep any eye on baby's position, but that's something you can probably figure out yourself. I guess monitoring movements on your own would suffice without doing HB checks on the bubs (I suppose you could get your hands on a stethoscope and listen...?).
    Not sure if there's anything else...? Probably best to ask someone with some professional knowledge on these things.

  10. #10

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    We're in the exact same position. Midwives didn't make the last homebirth and probably won't make it again because they are 3hrs away and DS came in 2 hours.

    But i still paid the $5500 to have them this time. It's not just about the birth itself. It's the antenatal and postnatal care that i care about most. Yep it's expensive. But in my mind, worth it. Because i would rather have them miss it then to give birth in a hospital again or to have a complete free birth. It's not worth the risk for me.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Antheia View Post
    But i still paid the $5500 to have them this time. It's not just about the birth itself. It's the antenatal and postnatal care that i care about most. Yep it's expensive. But in my mind, worth it. Because i would rather have them miss it then to give birth in a hospital again or to have a complete free birth. It's not worth the risk for me.
    I think I would lean this way too. I'd be wondering about if this labour ends up being longer what would I do? I would personally want a midwife booked to come as a hospital birth and a freebirth are not really what I personally want.

    That said- both are valid options and I think if you would be happy to go with them then do. Perhaps try to visualise a scenario such as long labour and how would you want it to pan out? Would you be happy to transfer to your hospital? Would you prefer the quiet of a freebirth? Its really such a personal decision.

    I veto the ob's option though too

  12. #12

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    Well if i add all my labours together it only equals 8hrs for all three

    I really cant get my head around a long labour....

    But if you make me then yes i guess id like the MW to come rather than hospital!

    Ahhh you are all lovely and bar making me feel better about notgoing to OB option you really are no help

  13. #13
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    The gold standard really is the whole package not just the birth. Antenatal care could focus on being prepared that another free birth is on the cards but if you need support it is there also. The induction option very unappealing. I am not sure why you would want a hodge podge of care with so many different carers, decide what you want to do and go with that.

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