Homebirth General Discussion #1

[Schmickers]

Hi there Bec, and welcome to the homebirth general discussion thread.

First of all, I'd like to offer my condolences to you on what must have been a very traumatic experience for you, and for what I can see is something that obviously still affects you today.

I guess the most important thing that any of us who are planning a homebirth can glean from the research out there is that, while the risk of major complications is lower in homebirth than in hospital birth, that does not mean it is non-existent. Tragedy strikes, rarely thankfully, at home as it does in hospital.

I can see you carry a lot of the guilt over your son's condition, and also a lot of anger towards your midwife. The mother-midwife relationship is a very important part of the birth, and when something like this damages it, it causes much pain and anguish. One of the great advantages of seeking a homebirth is having the ability to choose your midwife, unlike the conventional hospital system where one (or more than one, often) is simply allocated to you. It is an important part of that process that we are satisfied that our midwives have the requisite skills and experience to perform their tasks. I am so sorry that in this event, it seems that was not the case.

One thing I would give you, to take away and think about, though, is what you think might have happened differently in hospital? If we discount the breech birth factor, what about the post-birth activities might have been different in hospital that could have given your little one a better outcome? I assume your midwife had the appropriate emergency equipment - oxygen, a bag and mask resuscitator - because if so, the resuscitation of your baby would have commenced at home in exactly that same way as it would have done in hospital.

I can very much understand your reluctance to birth at home for your next birth - obviously the trauma of your first birth would not allow you to be comfortable birthing at home this time. I wish you the very best for your next birth, and I hope that it brings with it all of the happiness you should have experienced during your first birth.

Just a note to avoid confusing our members: "stillbirth" refers to a baby that has died in utero and is born. Bec's baby was not "stillborn".

[Tegam]

Oh Bec, what a horrible time you have had! I hope that you did get and are still getting the support you need. Like someone else said, i dont think that there is a homebirther out there that has not heard EVERY bad or negative story out there. Like you yourself claim, you were young fit and the perfect candidate. You were also probably well educated and informed.

I ask with the biggest respect but what were you hoping from your post? To stop others from homebirthing or to just open a line of support. Because we (the BB community) are very tight and will be there every step of the way if you need it.

I suggest you go to the debreifing site and tell your story as many times as you need to.

I would also ask that you respect others informed decisions. None of us take birthing lightly and we are all doing what is right for our families.

I hope that this next birth allows you to forgive yourself for all those things that were out of your control.

[aprel]

hi everyone,

i just wanted to jump in and introduce myself, after a traumatic m/c in june, i'm very happily pregnant again with a good heartbeat and healthy first scan... phew

I'm really lucky to be involved in the Sunshine Hospital Homebirth program starting this year, where i'll get continunity of care with the same midwive (including if transfer if necessary) all for free!!!

thank you sunshine for being one of the more progressive hospitals in melbourne.... it's too scary to think where we would be without proper choices for birthing in this country. Got to keep up the fight to keep homebirthing alive in this country.

I'm sorry for your tramautic story, bec, I hope you find the comfort and support you need.