Slightly OT - talking with another mum on another forum, and she was wondering about having a VBAC. But her DH is dead set against it (right now - she's going to try to talk him into it). And everyone on the thread was like "Well, you can show him it's safer, etc., etc." and she replies with "no, he's not worried about it being safe - he's just really Type A, and likes to be in control of the situation and know what to expect." And she thought that was just fine! I couldn't believe it. She's a great candidate for VBAC, but she might not get to try, because it would mean her DH "wasn't in control". Honestly? Someone would agree to major abdominal surgery, with weeks of recovery, and consequences for their reproductive future (they wanted a big family, but now they don't know if they can, b/c of the c-section), just for the sake of "being in control"? Am I out of touch with reality, or is that totally over the top?
Now she knows his reasons, she can work with them so he is more comfortable with her decision. My partner and i had way more 'control' birthing at home than in a hospital. It was our decision who was invited, where i birthed, what we ate, drank, how we moved....

oops, just reread your post. thought you were talking about hbac vs hospital birth. If my partner believed something was 'safer' (vbac) but tried to insist that i have a less safe option because HE wanted to be in control (of something he won't be anyway), and he wasn't going to have to deal with many of the consequences of that decision, well he wouldn't be my partner for much longer or certainly wouldn't be invited to this event.