Homebirth General Discussion #14

:happyforyou: CONGRATULATIONS ARCADIA!!! :happyforyou:

Don't worry - no one heard me. I'm on the other side of the world. ;)

Hope that m/s eases up soon for you. I know very well how miserable it can be to try to keep your family going and not let anyone guess that you're pregnant yet while feeling like crap. :hug:

Wow - September suddenly seems like it's coming up fast! Saw my midwife yesterday, and all is well with me and the bean. He's one active little guy! Kicking and rolling all over the place. Probably more noticeable for me this time because I have a posterior placenta, whereas with a number of my other kids I've had an anterior placenta. Booked all the rest of my appointments, which also made it seem like the end is in sight.

Hope everyone else is well!

Congratulations Arcadia!!!! How wonderful!!!

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment though, the beginning nit is tough going and I bet it is hard with the other two xx

Congratulations Arcadia, and welcome back to the hb group. Wishing you a h&h next 7 months :)

whoop whoop!!! GO ARCADIA!!!!!!!! Congratulations!! Such splendid splendid news!

Ok, so the ms news is not so splendid...blergh....i had it really bad with DD3, it was so gross. it occupied the majority of my mind for the first months...as meow can probably attest :lol:

Man, i just checked out our HB list....(thanks HotI)...wooooo so many September babies on their way!!! September babies do rock out that's for sure ;)

Yay, congrats Arcadia!!

Hope the ms eases.

Congratulations Arcadia!

Just wanted to report back on the 'meet the experts' evening I went to. It was one of those things where all the professionals understand what it takes to get a good birth and what good newborn care is... and all the attendees are first time parents booked into fancy hospitals with an OBGYN who they love and "is going to let me do it however I want". Sure. Whatever.

I always find those things get me a bit frustrated and I end up just going quiet because they need to ask all their questions and hopefully end up finding a better experience. I did find out that the situation here is pretty similar to Australia, there are just MORE things to say "no" to in a hospital here. Homebirth transfer is apparently pretty good at the little "non-fancy" hospital that they all transfer too if needed and they will still be as unmedical as possible. But newborn care... you have to add to your list of "do nots" things like no antibacterial cream in baby's eyes, no bath or else they wash them before even handing them over to the mother! If you choose not to have your baby washed then it's a biohazard and all the staff have to wear gloves when they hold it. Oh lordy!

Anyway, we've pretty much decided we're not having a baby any time soon. I need too much energy to give my eldest the support he needs and I can't find a preschool that allows you to bring a baby during parent help. So we would have to have a baby at the beginning of the summer holidays so it is as old as possible before leaving it with a babysitter to do parent help and that means getting pregnant in a couple of months. Which we're not ready for at all. So maybe we'll wait another year or maybe we're done? I'm a bit sad about that and it is hard knowing that had things been different I'd be pregnant again already because I do want another one. That's life huh?

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If you choose not to have your baby washed then it's a biohazard and all the staff have to wear gloves when they hold it. Oh lordy!

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oh dear. my suggestion would be for them to stay away from my baby anyway.

That sucks that you couldn't take a sibling to preschool. So many people wouldn't have a choice, and so they (and the kids) would miss out on helpers.

I agree, hands off the baby! Everyone wins LOL

The preschools I'm looking at are "parent participation preschools" so you HAVE to go and do jobs one session a week. The other preschools are way too expensive (no government subsidies here). Funny how the formula feeding culture permeates everything about society here. No one bats an eyelid that a mother has to leave her baby.

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But newborn care... you have to add to your list of "do nots" things like no antibacterial cream in baby's eyes, no bath or else they wash them before even handing them over to the mother! If you choose not to have your baby washed then it's a biohazard and all the staff have to wear gloves when they hold it. Oh lordy!

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Yeah, the antibiotic cream is mandatory in most places. It's to prevent blindness caused by syphilis (I think). Apparently Helen Keller was one of those who pushed to have it required by law. It would be nice if they could just treat those who actually are at risk for getting the disease though! Needless waste of antibiotics and needless exposure to it too.

And the "biohazard" thing is kind of annoying from a mother's perspective, but from the nurse's perspective, I can see it. You don't know what the mother may or may not have (or maybe you DO know, and that makes it worse!) and it's her bodily fluid on the baby. You wouldn't expect them to handle any of your other fluids without gloves, right?

oh meow :( that does suck massively :hug:

you will have another crack at having a baby, surely xx Move to LA and have a baby with the sanctuary people. if P!NK can do it (and me lol) then you can too :D

Also, there is, in a number of private hossys there the requirement to pump baby's gut after birth....making that first feed totally null and void. i was horrified and ran straight from that hospital.

Cricket: here in OZ midwives and OBs dont even have to wear gloves during labour and birth. there is no way that i would allow my midwives to wear gloves when handling my baby. i would think too, that the staff would know what you 'have' or dont have?? with routine BTs and all that jazz.

my babies have never really had a 'first bath'. we tend to think about it after 2 or 3 weeks. there is no residue or anything on bubs...maybe because i birth in water??

I'm not concerned about having a baby here. The homebirth scene is good, there would just be a couple more things to list on the birth plan if we transferred ;)

My non-waterbirth baby was born in a sea of muck as my waters broke as he was born and blood and gore even splashed up the walls... but he was dry and not mucky pretty much straight away. We didn't bath him for a week or so. The nurses should be washing their hands between patients in any case and it's not like a dry baby is gunky. No need for gloves.

Treating everybody for a condition caused by a disease they don't have and assuming they may not know they have it because their partner is unfaithful is crazy. But I do get that it's ahrd to then only the treat the people you do suspect of being in that situation. It's totally unnecessary though as blindness can now be avoided by treating the pink eye when and IF it occurs. Giving antibiotics at a birth to a generation of children who already have compromised gut flora is shocking.

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My non-waterbirth baby was born in a sea of muck as my waters broke as he was born and blood and gore even splashed up the walls...

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DH still reckons that cleaning up the birth pool after the birth was like a scene from the 'sopranos' lol. i told him to shuddup and keep cleaning lol.

can i ask why a baby wouldnt be allowed to the preschool? here they encourage siblings at reading times etc.

i had to giggle at the info night first-timers. they are also prevalent at the MN info nights. and the calmbirth course that i attended. i giggle and cry all at once. i have become a little more feisty in showing them that i am 'normal' and like them but just choose to have a baby at home and why. it might not change their mind, but at least sows a seed or two....hopefully.

They're all about you being there to work when you do your parent participation hours and you have a job schedule for your entire time there so you're not allowed to be distracted looking after your baby/other child. We're currently going to a summer playgroup thing at one of the preschools and the people are lovely and the kids are all running around everywhere and there are some full-term breastfeeders and all that but I guess they just put you on the clock when you're there to work your shift.

I said a few things too to try and show the the other parents 'been there, done that, all still alive'... people we're like "but my ob is awesome, I've never met the hospital MWs and my husband is there for me... what do I want a doula for?" so at least I could say from a fellow mumma point of view that I agreed with the 'experts' that you DO want (at least) a doula and little tid-bits like that. But when they say "what's the best way for me to avoid a c-section?" and the experts say "have a homebirth!" then try and frame a 'helpful' response that is tailored to their birth care decision then I just shut up lol

i would of loved to have gone along with you! it all sounds quite fun and i just love birthy stuff lol.

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Cricket: here in OZ midwives and OBs dont even have to wear gloves during labour and birth. there is no way that i would allow my midwives to wear gloves when handling my baby. i would think too, that the staff would know what you 'have' or dont have?? with routine BTs and all that jazz.

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Interesting. What do they do on other floors? When I was in nursing school, we were drilled on "standard precautions" which meant you wore gloves any time you could be in contact with bodily fluids or open wounds. It was for your own protection and the patient's. And knowing how often hand washing gets forgotten or missed in the rush of a busy day, I think I'd almost rather have my nurse put on clean gloves before she touched my baby at the hospital.

Just another reason I'm glad to have my babies at home. :) Hospitals are gross and dirty.

My homebirth babies first baths have been the post partum herbal bath with me. The herbs they use are supposed to be good for healing the umbilical stump too.

double post...

maybe they are meant to in hospitals here...but not all follow it i guess :lol:

i too am soo glad that i have babies at home...sorts out all those icky problems quite easily :D

It is standard precautions to wear gloves when in contact with body fluids, as you never know what you or the patient may be carrying. Not everything is tested for. But I would also hope regular hand hygiene occurs. I'm taught to wash before donning gloves, nowadays a wash (when not soiled) can involve using an alcohol hand rub. Hence why I have crappy skin on my hands. Hand washing too much lol.

Okay, so, PZ and I met Jan yesterday. Ummm... Why did nobody bother to tell me just how NICE she is?! From everything I'd heard about her being a bit intimidating, I was a bit nervous to meet her - but she was so warm! The only slightly intimidating thing she did was sit just a touch too close to me, which given she's going to be watching me give birth in December, isn't that big a deal :rofl: The whole way back we just kept raving about how great we found her :) She even put on a dolphin birth video to distract Amelia. That was fun and slightly alarming (I wasn't expecting the birth part) :o

She shuddered when I said Ianto was born at the Northern, and begged me not to make her go there (:lol:), then we had a bit of a chuckle at a few things in my birth notes from them. I mean, who wouldn't find it at least slightly amusing that they wrote "seems depressed at situation" after observing me crying? Well, thank you Dr Obvious, I never would have known!

She did seem a bit tough on the student she was working with though. After asking me if I was going to have a 20w scan, she turned to the student and asked "why would I have asked that? What reason might a mother have for getting an ultrasound at twenty weeks?" - PZ and I were thinking it was forpeace of mind, considering we'd just been talking about Ianto, but she only meant in case one wants to find out the baby's sex. Poor student didn't know what to say, I felt a bit bad for her... But she certainly knows now :p

That wouldn't have been my answer. I have got the 20 week scan each time and never found out the baby's sex- Even for those who do find out, surely that is not the main reason they get the scan done?

You can always say you like your space if you find she is bit touchy feely for you.

I thought it was more for morphology stuff, checking organs etc

i am so stoked that you and Jan get on! i love her to bits!

I guess though what she asked is: why would the parents want the scan at 20 weeks. this is sometimes different to why a 20 week scan is performed? maybe it's a way of disseminating what a parent wishes for and what is the role medically of a 20 week scan. (for example, finding gender could possibly be done in lieu of a morphology scan if parents wish it...ie. if they dont want baby exposed to the long morph US if they are only interested in gender...). dunno, i am probably paddling up the wrong river on that one :lol:

Actually, that makes a bit more sense than how I interpreted it, Cassius :) I have another appointment at 18w, so I'll talk it over with Kelly. We'll probably still go for it anyway, for peace of mind :p

I think that's kind of a silly question, TBH. "Why would parents want a 20 week scan?" That's going to be different for every set of parents. There is no right or wrong answer there! Glad to hear that you've got a midwife you like though! :)

Do you know what i find funny? There have been a couple of birth rights get togethers recently - first outside the rwh, largely calling for greater respect for women who choose to birth in the hospital system, and secondly, one coming up to help stop the closure of the Mercy family birth centre - and the loudest voices, greatest presence has been from homebirthing women! The reckless women who put their babies at risk are out there in the cold making a noise, speaking up for other women (many of which wouldn't stand up for the rights of homebirthing women) to make birth safer for them and their babies.

I notice that too, HotI. I very rarely come across someone vocal about the rights of women to choose homebirth who hasn't done it themselves. But I do know a lot of women who choose homebirth for themselves and still advocate for the rights of women who choose different models of care. I can't think of the original quote but it always makes me think 'first they came for the homebirthers and I did not speak out for I did not want to homebirth.' Then they came for the women who want birth centre births. Then the women who wanted to have active birth in hospital. Then the women who wanted to birth their babies out of their vaginas....

Ah, the differences between homebirth midwives and public hospitals is astounding, though standards seem to have gone down even further since I was pregnant with Amelia! I had some cramping Saturday night, so I thought I might as well go into the hospital and get it checked out (and maybe catch a glimpse of bub via ultrasound) but all they did was some bloods - after a six hour wait btw - and send me on my way with the promise of a u/s "on Monday". I got a phone call an hour ago saying they've made the appointment for Saturday, a full week after I was there. Gah, just as well I wasn't *that* worried about bub, more wanting to be sure *I* was okay, huh? Now it's just turned into "at least DH gets to see baby" for us, since I've felt some movement and checked the HB with my Doppler. He missed my 12w u/s and we weren't sure he'd get to be at another.

They also want me to go in to their Early Pregnancy clinic - :chair: no way in hell is that happening! They called yesterday and left a voicemail saying my appointment was this morning. Oops, sorry, I "don't check my voicemails" :p Even if I wanted to go, I couldn't have made it anyway, so stuff 'em. At least the radiology department were kind enough to ask me to confirm if I could do their appointment.

Oh yeah, and to do the bloods they put a cannula in (if you know me, you know how much I was internally screaming!) and when the doctor took it out she may as well have been torturing me. She tore the sticky pad thing off so roughly I was shaking, and if I hadn't tried distracting myself I think I would have yelled at her! They didn't even need it in after the initial bloods, so I had two hours of deep breathing and not being able to move my arm. Lovely!

Ha, I keep remembering ways they screwed up, sorry. After the cannula was out, the doctor told us to go back to the waiting room for her to get the last blood result - whether or not I have HcG in there :wall: What was the point of that?! After all that, did they think I was lying? Did they really think I would take my toddler to the hospital and make her wait with me until 4am for poops and giggles?!

I'm sorry Teni :hug:

that is insane that they put a cannula in! bloomin' heck! Did they do doppler at least??

Nope, didn't check on baby at all other than the promise of doing the ultrasound "on Monday." By the time they saw me, the cramps had pretty much faded to nothing, so I wasn't as stressed anymore (turns out it was probably slight dehydration causing them) but it would've been nice if they'd done a quick check :-/

Contrast this to when I had similar cramping around 7w with Amelia - they still kept me waiting quite a while, but they did bloods the regular way and an ultrasound soon after. Even had a quick check for abnormalities rather than just her heartbeat... They've really gone downhill, and they've never been great to begin with :( SO GLAD TO HAVE KELLY AND JAN!

Did you call jan first or go straight to hospital? I'm glad you and bump are ok.

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Did you call jan first or go straight to hospital? I'm glad you and bump are ok.

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Nah, I was actually right near the hospital anyway (had been at the movies when it started) so I thought I'd pop in to get it checked out. Wasn't expecting such a long wait, of course, but I didn't want to worry anyone unnecessarily :redface: If they'd got me in and out quickly I might not have even called DH, just taken the bus home... I don't like to make a fuss :lol:

next time call your midwife . you migght be able to meet up with her instead to get checked out. that's what they are for!

I know the feeling, but jan is there to be harassed lol. No seriously I just texted her about a breastfeeding issue and she replied with great advice. She would want you to call her. She will come visit you if you need.

It's hard to ask I know x

I'll keep that in mind :) Thanks for letting me get it out, ladies :) Now to look forward to the u/s on Saturday - the one good thing that came from it :lol:

Yep it's great having a mw on standby, they are happy to answer any questions you might have and check you over if need be. Makes life easier rather than having to wait for doctors with a child in tow.

Bring on September!

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:baby: Babies Arrived :homebirth:
- 2012 -
Jennifer13- Baby GIRL born at home 4th January 2012
Bella29- Baby GIRL born at home 10th January
HotI - Baby BOY born at home 21st January
*Ash*- Baby BOY born at home 14th February
loulabelle - Baby BOY born at home 24th February
Cricket - Baby GIRL born at home 15th May
chocorama - May
...Em - Baby BOY born at home 7th June
BellyBelly - Baby GIRL born 11th August
Tanya - Baby BOY born at home 16th August
phynna - Baby GIRL born at home 8th September
lady_neon - Baby BOY born 27th September
Ambersky - Baby BOY born at home 3rd October
Cassius - Baby GIRL born at home 4th November
Ice cream - September
mirriumu - November
Pumpkinzulu - Baby GIRL born at home 12th December
- 2013 -
Sara - Baby BOY born 18th January 2013
turtlejane - Baby GIRL born at home 31st January 2013
Bellany - Baby BOYS born 14th March 2013
Ree*Ree - Baby BOY born 18th March 2013
Aimz - Baby BOY born at home 21st March 2013
Beatrix - Baby GIRL born at home 7th April 2013
Rubyshoes - Baby BOY born at home April 2013
Dollyroux - Baby BOY and GIRL born 29th April 2013
HomeStyleMumma - Baby GIRL born 8th May 2013
ladybirdflies - Baby GIRL born at home 23rd May 2013




:pregnant:Babies On Their Way :bellyrubs:

Shells79 - March
sepata - September
WilliamsMummy - September
Arimeh - September
Cricket - September
Loulabelle - September
Dot Face - October
Eenee - November
Sunnylove - November
TeniBear - December
Jennifer13 - January
HotI - February
Arcadia - February

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Yayy HotI!!!

Congratulations HotI!!

Hi guys, I've been MIA for a while though have been posting in other threads. Hope everyone's pregnancies are going well :).

I'm 23 weeks and finally had a discussion with mum today about the homebirth. I'd been putting it off for ages thinking I'd just be able to do the homebirth in my new house which is about an hour and 20-30 mins away from my hospital where I'm doing the government funded homebirth program. But since my midwife told me she can't travel more than 30 mins to get to the house where the homebirth would be I had to consider either bringing it up to mum or birthing at the hospital in a pool...

At first I firgured I'd just do it at hospital but I am petrified of being pressured into an induction if labour isn't "progressing" or even worse a c-section so I gathered the guts to ask mum about birthing here at her place where I currently live with dh.
She was surprisingly resigned to the idea of a homebirth! I guess maybe she had time to think it all through and become more relaxed to the whole idea since I first raised it with her 4 months ago. Anyway so I asked her what we'd do with dad once I went into labour as I don't want him in the house at all (don't want mum either but she insists she has to be there even if just in the house) and I don't want anyone in the extended family knowing I'm in labour so he can't go to any of their houses so mum suggested that dad could just go to a motel or something for the night. So hopefully it all works out okay!
It's my first baby and I just want my birth to be as stress free as possible so it's great that mum's more accepting of the whole thing now. Load off my back :).