Homebirth General Discussion #18

**Smoke Jaguar** · December 23rd, 2013, 02:26 PM

Cassius, so far no hint of all that hospy talk - I copped it from GPs during my last pg when I went in there for unrelated reasons, so it's a relief not to get the lecture about the 'risks'! I'm also prefacing contact with the fact that my second baby was born at home, so I'm according them the intelligence to infer that I already know about 'risks' etc

HotI, how's the critter's movements going? Sorry if I'm missed a post updating the sicho - I've had my sister and her family over and my computer is in the guest room!

**HotI** · December 23rd, 2013, 03:10 PM

yeah, baby moving a bit more. think it may have changed position so movements are being muffled by placenta. thanks for checking in.

hoping baby comes a bit early, cos the thought of going for another 10 weeks makes me wanta vomit, or perform my own surgery.

**Cassius2** · December 23rd, 2013, 08:03 PM

Meow: ooohhhh I am sooo excited for you! i hope that the midwife is an awesome fit! Do you need help in finding a photographer...I have a few peeps that might know some peeps (and they are lovely peeps lol!).

Smoke: yeah, i found that too. it was much easier to navigate the 'risks' talk once you already have a baby that was born at home. In fact, i always started the convo with 'we are planning to have this baby at home as well'. it shuts them right down as they are less inclined to tell you their colloquial 'risks' talk. in fact when i had to take an ambulance at 5 weeks postpartum for PPH the ambo was so totally awesome and was pro HB! so that set up the whole hospital trip nicely for me

HotI: oh no! you poor poppet! do you usually struggle with being pregnant? or is just this one? any prospect of some pampering while you are with bump? I had a shocker few weeks with DD3 and tried a prenatal massage. it didnt fix everything, but it was nice to have that hour to myself and for myself.

the_mrs: nah, i wouldnt be concerned at all. your cervix knows what to do and with bubs in that position it will start doing it's thing quite well!

E_P: WAHOO!! that is awesome news! congratulations! I have two september babies...they are pretty lovely!

**Bella29** · December 23rd, 2013, 08:56 PM

Big hugs Hot1

I hope you get a break really soon.

**Eenee** · December 23rd, 2013, 09:02 PM

Congratulations ep!!!

Eeek so many new babies coming up, making me clucky and DS is on,y 4weeks! Haha oh dear but no more baby's for me!

HotI: yeah I was about ready to take a knife to myself in the end to make the pregnancy go quicker! One day at a time,hopefully the next few weeks go fast for you x

**meow** · December 24th, 2013, 02:00 AM

I'm sorry this pregnancy is so hard hoti. Glad to hear baby is moving xx I hope you have closer to 5 weeks than 10 weeks to go!

What do you all think about MWs who haven't given birth? Turns out my preferred MW isn't a mother herself. She is one of nine sisters and comes from a 'positive birth' family and says it was her positive view of birth combined with being a birth assistant at a friend's hospital birth that drove her to become a HB MW. She seems really knowledgable and in line with my thinking but I've always had a hesitation about MWs who haven't birthed themselves. I'd like to think about it some more before I meet to her to work out my 'issues'.

**TeniBear** · December 24th, 2013, 02:18 AM

My primary, Kelly, isn't a mother yet. And she was absolutely fantastic.

Sorry, can't be much more elaborate than that. I've been typing my birth story and I think all my words have gone

**Smoke Jaguar** · December 24th, 2013, 07:06 AM

Meow, my first birth was attended by a mw who hadn't birthed before and she was so completely awesome and hands off (FBC birth), we were mutually grateful - her for me doing the birthing by myself (with hypnobirthing) and me for her letting me be and just reading the body language to know when to back off and just watch

HotI, so glad you're feeling movements again! It's the little things when the pregnancy is being a trial...hope it goes quickly for you from here on in.
My pelvis packed it in again yesterday

It had stabilised for just over 2 weeks and I hadn't really used the crutches much at all. Then, yesterday, when I would have liked to cook brekky and lunch for my sister and her family I was either hobbling around or sitting down. I got excited, thinking that as my pelvis hadn't stabilised in the other pregnancies that I would have an easier time of it after the fortnight I'd had. Actually, the last fortnight seems to have flown by because I could do some things again. Now I'm back to feeling like this is dragging on. All the more reason to look forward to having a nice homebirth - anything to salvage my pregnancy experiences! Sadly, too, the social worker couldn't get the Shire to see that I need home help, after a last ditch effort. My DP's day yesterday consisted of doing the morning milking where he works, coming home to see my sister and BiL before they left, then heading back to move hay for his boss. Home for a short bit (time for a coffee) before heading back to OUR farm to meet the butcher and bring back the cool room with a fresh beastie in it, then returning his boss' tractor and back to our farm to dispose of innards. Home again to shower, scoff down a sausage in bread and then all of us headed off to a local carols service. Even without the seasonal events thrown in there, he's shuttling between farms every day...but because he comes home to sleep at night we're not eligible for home help!
Anyhow, looking forward to a quiet Christmas Eve and wishing I could stay home tomorrow. 3 months of whining to go!

***The_Mrs.*** · December 24th, 2013, 12:23 PM

Saw the midwife again today and she thinks it will be any minute. I dilated another couple cms in a couple days and she actually thinks it's going to be a super fast labor! Maybe a Xmas baby?

**meow** · December 24th, 2013, 01:02 PM

Thinking of you The_Mrs!!! Blessed birthing vibes to you xx

Thanks Teni and SJ for your experiences

**Smoke Jaguar** · December 24th, 2013, 01:59 PM

Woo hoo, The Mrs!

**Jennifer13** · December 24th, 2013, 08:46 PM

Beautiful birthing vibes your way, TheMrs. Sounds like you're all set.

My primary m/w was not a mother for DD2's birth. She was wonderful. Ironically, she has become a mother herself in between DD2's birth and this bub, and since I see both of my m/ws fairly regularly thanks to our HB group get togethers it's been awesome to share the experience of mothering with her. Gave us something else to talk about this pg too - because I got to hear all the details of her HB! (And let's face it, any chance to get into the details with someone who knows their stuff and shares the same birthing philosophy is good.

)

I don't know if it will change her support during my birth, but she did say it altered her perception of her post-birth care, because she has a better understanding of the emotions involved.

Everything steady here. Bub has dropped a bit more but I'd say at least a week away still. Fx a little more!

**HotI** · December 25th, 2013, 04:51 AM

HotI: oh no! you poor poppet! do you usually struggle with being pregnant? or is just this one? any prospect of some pampering while you are with bump? I had a shocker few weeks with DD3 and tried a prenatal massage. it didnt fix everything, but it was nice to have that hour to myself and for myself.
!

I don't love pregnancy, but this one seems to be much harder. I.always loved feeling baby movements, it was always the benefit to feeling crummy, and this one has been quieter all along than my other two. however, that could be a good thing when it arrives.

I hate whinging about it all too, but am grateful that you all put up with it, and offer such kind words. I dk have a voucher for a massage, and might see if I can book in while dh is on leave.

the mrs, looking forward to hearing you have your baby in your arms. are you ok with the ve's? even with no checks, baby will still be born

hope everyone is able to spend time with family or friends.

take care

**HotI** · December 25th, 2013, 05:03 AM

I'm sorry this pregnancy is so hard hoti. Glad to hear baby is moving xx I hope you have closer to 5 weeks than 10 weeks to go!

What do you all think about MWs who haven't given birth? Turns out my preferred MW isn't a mother herself. She is one of nine sisters and comes from a 'positive birth' family and says it was her positive view of birth combined with being a birth assistant at a friend's hospital birth that drove her to become a HB MW. She seems really knowledgable and in line with my thinking but I've always had a hesitation about MWs who haven't birthed themselves. I'd like to think about it some more before I meet to her to work out my 'issues'.

I have been pondering this question. I have been birth support for two of my sils. one pre babies, and one post babies. my perspective has certainly changed, but I wonder how much is exposure to birth vs experience of birthing. to truly understand my trauma, or bliss of MY births I do think you have to have experienced it, I wouldn't appreciate it fully just from observing or hearing about it. but I also think a woman's philosophy and life experiences also play a huge part in how they would support another. so, if these aligned with mine then her lack of personal birth experience may not play as much in my decision. good luck, its a tricky one.

it took me a little while to decide on birth support this time. I ended up going with same support I had with DS, but it wasn't as automatic as I thought the decision would be.

**HotI** · December 25th, 2013, 08:56 PM

I found someone local (2 mins away) who does henna, and I am thinking about having a party for one and getting my belly henna ed. is the idea that it will still be there when baby arrives, or more just something nice to get done sometime later in pregnancy?

had a lovely day today with family, and now soaking in the spa bath before heading to bed.

love to all

***The_Mrs.*** · December 26th, 2013, 02:27 PM

I'm starting to get antsy. I've never made it this far with my other girls plus my pelvis hurts something fierce. I need some encouragement as I'm starting to be a little depressed about hurting and still being pregnant. Especially since I probably have another week or so

**Bella29** · December 26th, 2013, 02:29 PM

Hugs mrs, you are doing great. Can u take some paracetamol to help with the pain and take it easy?

**Jennifer13** · December 26th, 2013, 06:40 PM

TheMrs. The end is uncomfortable, isn't it? I'm reminding myself that it gives me just a little longer to rest and take it easy before she arrives. Plus, I'm a little nervous about managing three, especially with DD2 being her usual rambunctious toddler self.