Homebirth General Discussion #2

[Antheia]

Thought i should pop in here for a bit.

I am eagerly awaiting bub's arrival. 8 days post dates so far and still not much action. Gets loads of cramps and aches and losing plug but nothing turning into labour unfortunatly. I was 3cms at 39 weeks. Who knows what i am now. Probably more. It's getting frustrating. Especially when pre labour feels like early labour but then stops.

[onthefly]

You must be very, very close Antheia Hope we're reading your BA soon

[Cassius2]

Especially when pre labour feels like early labour but then stops.

i hear ya on this one! i NEVER had pre-labour with DD so had very little idea of what it was...then last night had 3 hours of it . about 1.5 hours in i realised that it wasnt ramping up and it dawned on me that this was the storm in the pre-labour tea cup...wow...

hope this bubba is in your arms soon babe xx

[~kaos~]

Oh lovely to hear we have some mumma's so close Birth blessing to you. I hope that you can embrace the pre-labour, just think of it as work that is being done that hopefully you won't have to do later (that coming from someone who has never had the days of pre-labour...)

I feel like I'm in my mid pregnancy lull too. I'm 28 weeks now, so I guess I'm 3rd Trimester - wooohooo! Starting to feel the time pressure that soon we will have another baby in the house, that I need to get the house decluttered and sorted, the freezer filled, some walls painted (particularly where I think my birth space will be). Nesting anyone.

I've start active birth yoga, and started listening to hypnobabies CD's. It getting me in the right frame of mind. I really want to put effort into preparing that way, last birth I really struggled with the mental AND physical pain, especially around transition. In my previous two births it was usually just a bit of a mental hurdle for me to get over. I think part of the problem with my last birth was I started getting frustrated and cranky as I went into transition, and this amplified the pain. I really need to focus on calm and relaxed

I'm due for another MW appt soon and I'm really looking forward to it. My MW is really awesome, the perfect fit for me

[Arimeh]

Congrats to Antheia on the birth of your gorgeous boy!!! woohoo!!!

Nothing happening here... passed a quarter of the way there I suppose.... supposed to have my blood tests but not really wanting to cos I hate needles.. LOL... not seeing my middie until 16 weeks, so I sorta don't even feel pregnant!

[Cassius2]

WAHOO TO ANTHEIA!!!!! i guess all the pre-labour coulda been early labour!! so happy and thrilled for you

[Eenee]

Just had the worst experience seeing the ob (was my last appt with her and to inform her of me having a homebirth, and get referral things that I may need later on). Anyway she was so mean, made me cry. Basically told me she doesn't support it and if I have a homebirth I will probably die or my baby. Then said how irresponsible it was of my midwife to let someone who has had 2 miscarriages and took awhile to get pregnant to have a homebirth. And then said (because i'm on aspirin- which I will stop somewher in 3rd tri) that i'll bleed heaps, basically trying to scare me. Then quized me thinking the midwife had pushed me into it, and asking me how many birth's has she attended etc. etc. Then asking me why I wanted to birth at home, I told her was because I had a bad experience at the hospital in the passed (and of course many other reasons, but heck I wasn't wanting to waste my breath). She wanted me to go into details, but not like I was going to get into that with her. Then I just started crying, but desperately trying to hold the tears back (which I manged to stop until I got into the car). Now she wants me to see another OB for a second opinion about having a homebirth, I just don't know what to do I don't want another lecture. And my midwife is overseas for a month at the moment so not like I can talk to her yet. Now i've started crying again. Sorry you girls probably would have been able to handle this but I wasn't, i'm just so upset.

[onthefly]

Oh em That OB is full of crap. And how awful to tell you that you or your baby will die!!!!
Do you need the OB for this, or can you go to a GP? Perhaps if you ask around you can find a more supportive doctor.
For what it's worth, we needed IVF to conceive, I'm on aspirin also and have a thyroid condition, and had a largish baby by foreceps last time and no problemo getting a home birth - I'm low risk.
At the very least, if you do have to go back, perhaps you could take your DH or someone along for moral support?

Wow Antheia, congratulations. Will have to go and find the BA.

[Alina0210]

Marcellus - congratulations on your pregnancy, and YAY yor going to have a homebirth. that's so exciting. I just had another DD at home 11days ago, she was 10lb 4oz and only a 1.5hr labour...

Em.... So sorry that ur Ob was an idiot. I had to get 'approval' from an Ob to have a homebirth as I was sent for a ultrasound to check fluid/size of baby because midwives were concerned... I had 2 different Obs try and scare me into having a hospital birth, because one Ob was concerned of bleeding risk and he other kept mentioning shoulder dysocia. Argh. Luckily
I had a good back up of people i could call on to get advice and there was no way in hell I was having a hospital birth. Turns out I did have some excessive bleeding at the birth (700mls appx) but my midwives managed it quickly and easily and it was such a non issue. My midwife actually went back to the Ob at hospital and bragged how well it went LOL.

[onthefly]

Hi Alina and congratulations on the birth of your daughter! She was a good size - I told DH I'm aiming for a 10-pounder this time
Glad you were able to manage the OB problem well.

[meow]

Oh, I'm getting behind in here- great to see so much HB chat!!

Congratulations to our recent HBing mums!!! Yay Antheia and Alina!! I hope the early milky days are going well

I had to go to the doctor this morning for my iron blood test referral. Damn laws that midwives can't refer blood tests! I can't believe they made the laws so that midwives CAN refer tests- but with doctor's "collaboration". Erm- so you still have to go to the doctor and nothing is changed? I always approach these conversations with the mindset that HB is the default option so I don't offer anymore info than asked for... it went something like...
Doc: Who are you seeing?
Me: Helen B
Doc: Where do you see her?
Me: At home
Doc: (something about why she hasn't requested this test for me)
Me: She's a midwife, she can't refer blood tests.
With all the who-hah about collaboration he didn't say anything and I wonder if it sunk in a little for him. He charged me a super low fee which I presume I'll get back from medicare so good on him for recognising that I only went to him because I *had* to and not for his care.

My last appointment actually didn't go so well with my midwife. I've not been wanting to say it out loud but I think there was too long between appointments and she forgot some stuff I had told her in the booking in appointment which I think is relevant to how she cares for me and understands so I don't feel good about that. I'm going to chat to her next week though and see if we can get back on track as we really did connect well at the first appointment. I need her to know me and I need to actually start talking to her about my 'issues' so I feel we've worked on that and I'm ready for the birth.

[Cassius2]

hi girls!

Em: oh man. what a horrid OB. i reckon that all it shows is how your decision to have baby at home is a good one. imagine having such a fear-based 'care' provider so intimately involved in the birth of your baby...big phat massive hugs gorgeous take time to process this experience and really chat it through with your midwife. she will be able to provide love and support and show you the care that you and bubba need. and ppffftt to her scare-mongering tactics! if it's any consolation, i too had a number of losses in conceiving DD1 and it took a good 2 years to get her and it had NO impact on the birth. ours was straightfoward: it was just a bummer that it was in a hospital lol!
Are there any OBs that you can see that are not affiliated with her? no doubt she will want to only have you see someone that is in her frame of mind. not sure if you have already but this might be worth a PM to BB Kelly, as surely she is in the 'know' with regards to an OB that can help you acheive a successful HB that is also taking into account the aspirin (i am assuming it's the aspirin that requires some OB assistance??).

Meow: yeah it totally sucks that middies can't refer the BTs. luckily my GP also didnt charge me as he knew what the lay of the land was/is. did you make sure though that Helen can get the results direct from the pathologist?? this saved me money and time....Nic rang up at my appt and got them then and there over the phone and then in the mail a couple of days later.
Sorry to hear the the appt with Helen wasnt satisfying i have had a few like that along the way and it can throw you into a flutter as, like you said, it is a long time between drinks! if i had my time again i would ask for extra appts...maybe a good idea for you?! i reckon give it a good go with H. I met her (i'm guessing she is from Mid Nat?) at my birth plan meeting and man! she was lovely! i am sure that you can have a lovely experience with her (and i also thought she was totally awesome at the meet the midwives presentation too...). that it was just a crappy day and the next one will be back on track

Alina: congrats on the arrival of your baby girl!

AFM: had my midwife appt today with my second midwife. she took DH and I through some calmbirth stuff too as a refresher as we did the course about 10 weeks ago now (gosh time has flown). the GREAT news is that baby is engaged i thought that pre-labour stuff on monday was doing something lol! her DD and my DD played 'midwives' with me which was lovely too...helping to 'map' the baby...but golly gosh their hands were cold! bring on spring i say lol!

[meow]

Thank you SOOO much Cassius. You have helped reassure me It was nice to hear from someone who has met Helen- she is fab and I do think I made a great choice. I loved her at the meet the midwives night and our first meeting so I'm sure all is fine. Our appointment was not only ages after the last one but it was 7.30am- none of us were probably really awake I've been thinking of suggesting some extra appointments too. As we get the the business end, labour feels more real and I have stuff I want to talk about and work through with her now. Probably fine that we saved on appointments earlier and I can cram more in now when it's more worthwhile. I'm looking forward to having an appointment with Nicola too- I really liked her at the meet the midwives night and it will be great to chat to her better. I think Helen and Nicola seem like a good team.

Em- sorry you've had to deal with such a fear mongering OB. Doesn't sound at all research based. I'd be questioning what another OB can do for you- possibly more of the same? You don't need their blessing, but if you do have some risk factors you want to consider then maybe booking a chat with a home birth positive doctor/OB could help?

[Roryrory]

Em I had a similar experience with my former GP (who trained as an OB in the dark ages) when I told her I was having my second at a birth centre. She said "ever since mws got involved in birth the death rate for mothers and babies had skyrocketed" So unfortunately the fear of natural birth and HB especially is really peddled by many doctors. I hope you can find a sympathetic OB

Congrats to Alina and Antheia

I am puttering away, 33 weeks today I passed the GD test so that's on less thing standing between me and my govt-funded HB LOL!

Hey Cassius and Meow, which mw group are you two going through?

[onthefly]

She said "ever since mws got involved in birth the death rate for mothers and babies had skyrocketed"

Because midwives were never involved in births before...

[Cassius2]

Thank you SOOO much Cassius. You have helped reassure me It was nice to hear from someone who has met Helen- she is fab and I do think I made a great choice. I loved her at the meet the midwives night and our first meeting so I'm sure all is fine. Our appointment was not only ages after the last one but it was 7.30am- none of us were probably really awake I've been thinking of suggesting some extra appointments too. As we get the the business end, labour feels more real and I have stuff I want to talk about and work through with her now. Probably fine that we saved on appointments earlier and I can cram more in now when it's more worthwhile. I'm looking forward to having an appointment with Nicola too- I really liked her at the meet the midwives night and it will be great to chat to her better. I think Helen and Nicola seem like a good team.

OMG! you made scones!! Helen was raving about how good they were!!! that's surely gotta be you who made the scones??!! LOL! DH saw it as a challenge to make something yummy for lunch bahahaha...but seriously i dont think he could of beaten scones....YUMMO. that is so funny! what a small world lol!

Rory: we are going through 'midwives naturally'...seem to have a lovely team (i havent met one person that i didnt gel with ITMS). i was recommended by a friend who went with them and yeah, it was love at first sight lol (i had met other midwives through other places but didnt get the connection in the same way).
your old OBs comments remind of that bit in the BOBB doco where they show the 1950s anti-midwife propaganda leaflets of the 'dirty italian midwife' lol.

AFM: all going well here. am losing bits of my plug...which is also a new experience for me as i didnt notice it with DD. but the crappy (literally!) news is that DD1 has gastro . sooooo dont wanna get that right now...imagine if it set everything off??!!!! bahahahaha that could be gross! (sorry for the TMI 'image' ).

[Cassius2]

Thank you SOOO much Cassius. You have helped reassure me It was nice to hear from someone who has met Helen- she is fab and I do think I made a great choice. I loved her at the meet the midwives night and our first meeting so I'm sure all is fine. Our appointment was not only ages after the last one but it was 7.30am- none of us were probably really awake I've been thinking of suggesting some extra appointments too. As we get the the business end, labour feels more real and I have stuff I want to talk about and work through with her now. Probably fine that we saved on appointments earlier and I can cram more in now when it's more worthwhile. I'm looking forward to having an appointment with Nicola too- I really liked her at the meet the midwives night and it will be great to chat to her better. I think Helen and Nicola seem like a good team.

OMG! you made scones!! Helen was raving about how good they were!!! that's surely gotta be you who made the scones??!! LOL! DH saw it as a challenge to make something yummy for lunch bahahaha...but seriously i dont think he could of beaten scones....YUMMO. that is so funny! what a small world lol!

Rory: we are going through 'midwives naturally'...seem to have a lovely team (i havent met one person that i didnt gel with ITMS). i was recommended by a friend who went with them and yeah, it was love at first sight lol (i had met other midwives through other places but didnt get the connection in the same way).
your old OBs comments remind of that bit in the BOBB doco where they show the 1950s anti-midwife propaganda leaflets of the 'dirty italian midwife' lol.

AFM: all going well here. am losing bits of my plug...which is also a new experience for me as i didnt notice it with DD. but the crappy (literally!) news is that DD1 has gastro . sooooo dont wanna get that right now...imagine if it set everything off??!!!! bahahahaha that could be gross! (sorry for the TMI 'image' ).

[Eenee]

Thanks girls for your support really needed it!