Homebirth General Discussion #2

[*Infinity*]

Just wanted to pop in & wish all you birthing mamas that are close to meeting your babes, lots of strength & good vibes. And congrats to those who have met their little ones recently.

I'm silently stalking most of you LOL! I'm grieving a lot after DD arrived so early, one of those things being the chance to prepare and birth at home. But it was just not to be, and I'm at peace with that. Good luck all x

[Tegam]

Do you know infinity... that was one of the shocks of Toms birth. It was lovely and i did have him at home BUT seeing as it was so quick i realised later that i had planned a home labour as much if not more than the home birth! I didnt have any of those lovely moments i thought id have, i think you know what i mean!

Happy stalking! I do the same!

[meow]

I'm grieving a lot after DD arrived so early, one of those things being the chance to prepare and birth at home. But it was just not to be, and I'm at peace with that. Good luck all x

I can completely understand. Thanks for popping into the thread still- your wisdom and experience is very valued

Funny you mention not even wanting a short labour Tegam- I'm feeling the same. I've realised that what I want is my last labour again- and to do it properly. Helen (my midwife) keeps mentioning how this one will most likely be shorter but I keep fobbing her off- I don't feel like I want a short labour!

Had a really great appointment with Helen. We had a good talk about my anxieties from last time... I had a good cry too and she now realises how severe these issues are and I feel much more open and as though she'll understand me now. I really needed to open up for that to happen. She left me the birth plan notes to start thinking about for our birth plan meeting at 36 weeks and I feel a little lost as to where to start but I have time. I also got my blood test results and I'm anemic- which doesn't surprise me at all. I've been feeling so vague and tired and teary! So I'm onto the iron supplements and hopefully that will perk me up and give the baby and I what we need Baby is going well- I feel like I'm making another healthy, happy baby and feeling really good at the moment Helen and I both have a feeling this one will be slightly smaller than my son (4.3kg) so we'll see if we're both right. I'm a bit bummed as I was hoping to crack the 10pound mark this time though!

ETA: Helen also lent me the "Orgasmic Birth" DVD- can't wait to watch it Has anyone else seen it? What did you think?

[Tegam]

havent seen it! Let me know what you thinK?

dont mention too loudly that you want a longer labour, people will think your nuts!

[onthefly]

Infinity. I appreciate you watching over us. Know that we are all thinking of you and your little girl.

meow, I'm really hoping to crack the 10-pound mark too. DS was also about 4.3kg but I'm feeling smaller this time round.

I haven't seen that, but it sounds nice I'm currently reading Ina May's guide to childbirth, which is really great! She's wonderful isn't she?

[LionsandBears]

***Updates limited by # of images**

Posted by: Cassius2
On: August 31st, 2010 08:09 PM

hi guys!

Meow: so stoked to hear the last appt was back on track makes such a huge difference overall i reckon. the orgasmic birth DVD sounds good! i have read about it, but never really looked into it. you must tell us all!

Infinity: thanks for stopping by babe am thinking of you and Heidi for tomorrow's big day xx

Em: hope you are travelling ok after your last OB appt.

Marcellus: oohhh i wish i had of gotten my hands on Ina's book. i keep watching the BOBB DVD and just LOVING what she has to say.

AFM: all good here (now!). had a rough week last week with DD being quite sick from unexpected allergies. and then my mum arrived and although this was all planned etc it really threw me to have a new person in my space IYKWIM. i guess it is really heightened because i am having baby at home so my home is my sanctuary and i have 'created' a feeling of space and organisation that i have been finding hard to maintain as an extra person creates extra mess lol. but i have been soooo emotional that it has demanded both DH and mum to help me (and my 'nesting') out around the house...even when i NEED them to mop the floors at all hours of the night

hope everyone is travelling along beautifully!
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Posted by: Roryrory
On: September 1st, 2010 09:43 AM

Hi all - wow so much has been happening.

Infinity thanks also for popping in, hoping your lil girl is home soon.

Tegam, IKWM about a home labour. I haven't done that since my first (I was home til 9cm dilated before heading in to hospital) and I will do things so differently this time round.

Meow I saw a hypnobirth counsellor before the birth of my second son. I found it made a HUGE difference to my approach and it brought up things about Flynn's birth that I hadn't even been aware of. Its like prior experiences, even if you don't "think" of them as negative, can be huge emotional blocks to the birth process. Sounds very hippy I know and I am not at all a crystals and chakras kinda girl but it really became a truth for me personally.

Cassius I am with you on the nesting- I am throwing things out and de-cluttering like a mad thing.

Well as for me I am 35 weeks along today. All seems to be puttering along well, and I next see the mws who are part of the Sunshine program on Tuesday. "My" mw is actually taking all of September as annual leave which is a bit of a shock, because I am "due" on the 6th of October and my boys were born on their due date and 6 days early respectively. So I am not actually expecting her to be there, which is a shame, but that's what you get for not having an IM I guess. Anyhoo, all the mws in the Sunshine program have an arvo tea so I can meet them all and at least have a familiar face while I am labouring. I have met my mw's partner a few times and am comfortable with her, so it's not such a big deal I guess. One thing I know, if I was to have a 4th (which I seriously doubt LOL!) I would have an IM.

And bub is still floating free - not sure if s/he is head down, but I am a lot more calm about that now As one of the mws described it to me - "your uterus is this lovely big squishy thing with lots of room for bub to stretch and grow". I don't expect a head-downer til at least 37 weeks now (or later).
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Posted by: em...
On: September 1st, 2010 12:00 PM

well got a letter in the mail yesterday for appt with another Ob, they made it for tomorrow- so a lot of notice they gave me! grr I so don't wanna go, I don't have to do I? I feel like just not turning up! or should I ring and cancel or ring and change it til after my midwife gets back?? Getting the lettr yesterday put me in such a cranky mood, reminding me of the last ob appt.

cassius2: not long now, gotta love nesting- wish mine would start now.

Infinity: have been following little girl's journey- hope she continues to improve so you can take her home soon.
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[LionsandBears]

Posted by: meow
On: September 1st, 2010 12:42 PM

Marcellus- I haven't read Ina May's books but I do love everything I see of her. I really should read her Guide to Childbirth- would probably really enjoy it.

Cassius- I can totally understand the nesting. I'm itching to start but I have 2 more weeks of work placement (so I should be doing home work right now!) then I can start. I've been thinking I'll feel the same near the end- that at every point the house has to be ready to be my birthing space because you don't know when it's going to happen! Thinking of you

Roryrory- Thanks for the hypno advice. I saw a hypnotherapist for my trauma from getting stitches last time and it helped. I found talking Helen helped a lot too as it seems pretty clear now that I wasn't given enough anesthetic so I feel less nervous about the possibility of needing stitches this time because I trust Helen to take the time to listen to me and not hurt me. Otherwise my only issues with the birth last time were the hospital rules so I've addressed that with an IM

I hope you get to stick with your midwife and benefit from the relationship you have developed. Getting so close for you now too My baby already has their head in my pelvis! The cervix bounces are not fun

em- you have an IM don't you? Are you just seeing these OBs to get free pregnancy care through the hospital system? Maybe it is time to ditch them if they're just causing you stress. At the least I'd call and say you already have plans tomorrow and you need to make an appointment at a later date- then you can see your midwife first.
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Posted by: em...
On: September 1st, 2010 01:21 PM

Meow: yep seeing an IM, was seeing the first ob cos had lot of bleeding eaarly on, but at what was going to be my last appt she told me I had to go and get a 2nd opinion about my decision to homebirth. Now i'm just thinking it will be a second lecture, so don't want to go but the last ob was making out that I HAD to go. And thats what I was wondering, do I HAVE to go?
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Posted by: meow
On: September 1st, 2010 01:29 PM

Of course not. They have no right to dictate over your birth choices. As a private customer choosing a HB it's completely your choice. If you were having a funded HB through their hospital then they could control whether you can access it or not- but as you've chosen an IM they have no control or say in the decision. I'd just cancel the appointment with the receptionist and not mention anything if you don't want.
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Posted by: Roryrory
On: September 1st, 2010 01:40 PM

Em I agree with Meow but another way to think of it is this can be your first step in being a protective mumma. Those who have kids already will no doubt concur that as a mum you have to defend your choices and your babes quite often, and in ways and to people you didn't expect. If you feel up to it you could go to the next OB appointment with a mindset of the defending mother bear? Not aggressive, but assertive? I know it is hard and I am not in ANY WAY saying you are wrong if you don't feel like this ATM but I often find myself trying to offer girls in BB an alternative view, just to get the ball rolling. Either way you decide what YOU are most comfortable with
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[LionsandBears]

Posted by: Cassius2
On: September 1st, 2010 01:44 PM

---Quote (Originally by em...)---
Meow: yep seeing an IM, was seeing the first ob cos had lot of bleeding eaarly on, but at what was going to be my last appt she told me I had to go and get a 2nd opinion about my decision to homebirth. Now i'm just thinking it will be a second lecture, so don't want to go but the last ob was making out that I HAD to go. And thats what I was wondering, do I HAVE to go?
---End Quote---

short answer: no! from what i can gather you have planned a homebirth and have a competent and supportive IM that knows her stuff. they can deal with so much and are able to recognise all sorts of things from perfect pgs to complicated ones and can guide and support you just as much (but i totally believe a WHOLE lot more) than 'traditional' obstetric models of care. AND if the need arises at any point that the pg or labour or post partum period requires high risk care, then between you and your IM you can make the call to see someone at the hospital (for example, if i go beyond 42 weeks, i then have opted to see the fetal monitoring unit at the RWH for placental checks etc). big hugs babe listen to your instincts and if these people make you feel that way then they are so not the ones to be looking after you and bubba xx IMHO ya just gotta be ruthless and ditch ANYONE that doesnt feel right...but of course, this is just my two cents

Meow: yeah i reckon the nesting for a homebirther is sooo much more intense lol! cause you're right, you want alllll spaces to be at a certain standard of calm and cleanliness...pretty darn hard with a toddler, dog and two cats lol!

Rory: oh wow! you're already 35 weeks wow! that's a bummer about your IM being away so close to the EDD. that she will still be able to be there come what may with timing.

AFM: just had my 39 week appt! oohhh aahhh! never had one of those before lol! so weird being this pg! bubbity boo has moved back up (she was 2/5 engaged last visit). but my midwife reckons that is totally normal and told me that the night i had last week of 3 hours of contractions showed that she knows how to engage and can do so quickly, so not to be too obsessed basically lol! baby is also tending towards posterior position...noooooooooooo!!! so will have to do a bit more all four floor scrubbing action. ah well, surely there are more skirting boards to scrub
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Posted by: marcellus
On: September 1st, 2010 02:22 PM

Em, I absolutely agree with the others - call and cancel. At the very least, if you are going to go later then taking some time to get yourself ready and organising some moral support is really important (like your midwife for eg).
You don't actually need that OB's permission. Do you trust your midwife? Do you feel comfortable with her? Does she make you feel safe and secure? If so, then seek her advice first. (and ask yourself if you trust the OB and feel safe and secure with them.... I'm guessing not and that really is important - for you and your baby).

How many more posts before your baby arrives I wonder Cassius... can't be too many now
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Posted by: *Infinity*
On: September 1st, 2010 09:15 PM

Cassius honey.....be aware that I am starting to stalk you. I am getting very excited about you birthing your bubba at home. Good luck hun as you prepare to welcome your little one in your sanctuary.
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Vent

Posted by: Tegam
On: September 6th, 2010 07:12 PM

So went to the local public hospital today for the normal booking in appointment with the Dr!

Got the normal lecture on the dangers of HB quote " cant believe you would want to take that risk!"

then later when we were talking about IF baby came quick and i was at home...

quote "well you just need to remember that it would all be ok, birth is natural and you have done it 3 times before, youd be fine"

so whick one is it lady! Risky if i PLAN To be safe and PREPARED at home but if im not prepare then everything will be fine???

IDIOT!
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Posted by: marcellus
On: September 6th, 2010 08:05 PM

That's too funny Tegam!
I am wondering how my apt will go - it's the week after next. My middies regularly use this hospital as their backup, so i guess it'll be straight forward. I sincerely hope it's the only time I have to go there.

Still with us Cassius...?
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Posted by: Roryrory
On: September 6th, 2010 10:13 PM

Tegam that is a crack up LOL! Fingers crossed for you marcellus

And yeah, Cassius, how are you ??

crapola - just realised I am a month from my "due" date !!
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Newbie

Posted by: Spicemum
On: September 8th, 2010 10:46 AM

Wow
I've read this thread from the beginning and kind of reached a crishendo towards the end. How exciting.

Cassius - Big Congrats

Cassius and Meow - How funny on the food thing with Helen. I'm catching up with hear early AM in October. She's my 2nd IM. What does she like for brekky?

Tegam - Loved your quote. Can i share with Mum - might help warm her to the idea a bit?
Em - Sometimes it's obvious when obs are being ignorant. My first this time tried to get DH to take his side. 2nd told me my pelvis is small based on baby sitting high at 16 weeks (I've previously birthed a 4.3kg). Third was an IM.
As I've read I've wanted to join past conversations LOL

Planning HBAC December - due 25th .
Have to leave it here because DS9 is nagging me to play Wii with him.
Looking forward to hearing and sharing more with you all.
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which PHI approves HB?

Posted by: airyfairy
On: September 8th, 2010 12:15 PM

Just wondering which PHI has approved HB, and how long you need to be a member?
very early days with #2 and would LOVE a HB...looking for info to persuade hubby
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