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thread: Homebirth General Discussion #3

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jun 2005
    USA
    3,991

    Oh Tegam- I'm sorry you've been left feeling doubt in yourself.

    TBH I'm not really surprised by her reply. I think overall she sounds really lovely and supportive but I think she would feel it important in a written, recorded conversation to remind you of the role of trained birth attendents and the responsibilities you take on board if you choose to birth without them.

    She has said she could provide pre & postnatal care (just potentially not immediately post-natally) if you want so I'd personally still be interested in having her involved if you want... unless you found her antenatal appointments became fear-mongering sessions.

    She doesn't seem to get what you're up against with the hospital system BUT they can't force an induction or hospital stay so as she says, you could use them for pre & post-natal care if you want and just plan to turn up in labour (should you make it there) and your birth should be quick so they shouldn't have time to intervene. Or you could still just plan not to turn up.

    At the end of the day, choosing a freebirth is about taking full ownership and responsibility for the birth. No-one can give you permission or approval for that- that would be contradictory as giving approval holds a certain ownership IYKWIM and no-one can own this but you. And that's beautiful! I've only just started to come around to the power of that myself... I realised I was still placing ownership of this birth with my IMs but it's much more empowering to claim it for myself.

    All the bestand keep chatting it out!

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Brisbane
    5,039

    Still all over the place about the email.

    I am booked into the local hospital and have been revieving ante natal care through them and my plan was to go there after and have the post natal check and paparework done. In writting to her i was just trying to explore the idea that it would be nice to not have to put myself and a brand new baby in a car straigth away for paperwork!

    Thats what i mean i feel/felt like i had made appropriate plans for the most likely event of a quick birth.

    If the risks she talks about are so high and as she suggests that i call an ambulance when i start labour then it just makes me also wonder about my last birth with her. She didnt come and check me when i called her two hours before birth and said i felt funny and was being sick. She also didnt suggest we call and ambulance when my DH called to say i was in labour and all she said when she got the call that id had the baby was "Oh i thought that might happen" Not call an ambulance. She didnt arrive for another 40mins. Way too long in the case of her scare tactics story.

    She just makes me feel like all was ok that time cause id paid someone and freebirthed and this time wouldnt be ok cause i dont want to throw money away.

    We ended up using a emergency pack a MW friend had sent me for the birth. My IM hadnt even set us up with cord clamps or anything. We had the O2 but not really anything else.

    Oh i dont even know what the point of my dribble is about.

    I suppose it comes down to the fact that i feel OB use scare tactics when it comes to birth to convince people to spend the money and i feel like she has just done the same thing!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    vic
    2,886

    hun I can understand where you are coming from. Have you pm'd Tanya she might be able to help you with what to do with the paperwork side of things?

    And I understand the point of your dribble, you want the best for you and your baby!

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    7,177

    I'm so sorry Tegam. Hopefully there will be a resolution at your scan, I that everything is okay and you can go as long as possible.

  5. #5
    Registered User
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    Quickly catching up - Tegam, I hope it all works out okay and you get as close to the birth you want as you can

    Well, AFM, we finally started calling midwives yesterday (that's what happens when two procrastinators get married ) to feel out some prices/payment plans. So far our best bet is someone who can take payments via credit card, we'll borrow my mum's card and pay her back at our own pace. As much as their websites all say that they can work something out for people on tight budgets, not one of them seemed open to doing just that

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jun 2005
    USA
    3,991

    Oh Tegam, how scary for you! And not just for the health of your baby but also for the birth experience for you both. I agree that it must be hard to broach a medicalised birth when you've experienced truly natural birth, and you're fully educated on unnecesary interventions. Perhaps you can try and prepare for what the hospital would 'routinely' do and what you would like to ask for in a birth and baby care plan. Remember that everything has to happen with your consent. Thinking of you and your baby and wishing you all the best.

    So sorry that the finances are proving to be difficult to organise Tenibear I hope itdoesn't cause you stress, because you don't need it and it's the antithesis of the joy of a HB. Yay for calling the midwives!! Let us know when you're booked and who you've choosen if you don't mind sharing- I like hearing about the Melb IMs

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682

    Don't worry Teni - I still haven't called my midwife yet.. LOL... we were waiting to see if we were going to go to Qld or not, but it looks more and more like we will be staying down here for another year, so I may as well bite the big one and give her a call!!

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682

    Welll... no more home birth for me, so it appears that I'm out of the thread now..

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    7,177

    "They" are the AMA in the govts ear, and "they" suck balls

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682

    Well lets just hope that my mum can sell her beautiful block of land on the sunny coast hinterland, and then she will buy this place, letting us move to queensland - I won't have a homebirth either up there, but would be birthing at Selangor with a very pro natural birth OB and the beautiful Inanna for birth support.

  11. #11
    Registered User
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    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC
    5,051

    Looks like I'll have to bow out AGAIN! There's no way we can afford a HB, even if we cut back heaps of stuff. No time to save it up if we could anyway... Probably have to go back to the Northern for substandard care - it's some sort of care at least


    Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Jun 2005
    USA
    3,991

    I don't like hearing about people leaving us and not having HBs Our system frigging sucks. When the maternity services review first started a couple of years ago I put in a submission for publicly funded HBs and I had so much optimism that this birth would be one of those. The whole business has just gone backwards and gives us LESS choice. WTF?!!!

    I'm full term today!! And my midwife leaves on holiday tomorrow She'll be back in 9 days so no baby till after then. Gives us two more weekends to clean and prepare. Gosh HBs are much more work! With moving furniture, setting up birth pools, buying tap fittings, buying HB things like gloves and plastic sheets... there has been much more to do. We haven't done a single 'setting up the nursery' type thing this time though so saved our energy there I guess. My H got offered a job in Seattle so we'll be moving there in Feb next year which has killed the desire to even bother buying a cradle. Baby will spend time getting used to the kinderkot for day sleeps now instead
    Last edited by meow; October 28th, 2010 at 01:11 PM. : bad typing

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    I do not like this, no I do not like it one little bit

    All the best with your preparations Meow.

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    7,177

    Yay Tegam, that's fantastic news! Clever bubby, turning like that! I'm another really looking forward to seeing you get to 36 weeks (and beyond perhaps )

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    North Northcote
    8,065

    ohhh tegam i do like your norti nurse antics lol! here's to baking a full-termer!!!

    water_lily: hope the meeting goes well! and it is sooo exciting isnt it?! argh i miss it!

    oh and i saw a fantastic quote from our dear friend at the AMA today...reading it made me laugh...so i thought to share:

    "It's fair to say it is unusual, but at the end of the day I think that we live in a society which values individual choice." bahahahahaha! he was of course NOT talking about HB but rather commenting on the lady that just had twins in Perth at the age of 57...

    i guess he means that as long as it aint HB!

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Jun 2005
    USA
    3,991

    Meh. So long as her "individual choices" are profiting the OBs then I guess a woman can do what she likes

    I was thinking of you on Friday actually Cassius as I had an appointment with Nicola. I guess your appointments are all finished now? I think I'll be sad when they're all over too

    I had a teary to her about my son's support people and how I don't really want them in my birth space- particuarly after the baby is born. I think we've resolved how to make it as good as possible but it's a shame I don't have better options. I feel like we're spending a small fortune on this birth and I want it to be the best it can be. Not long now... baby is 4/5 engaged and I'm exhausted.

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Brisbane
    5,039

    Oh meow, sorry but there really is no perfect birth () i dont want anyone to stop trying for one. Its just that we all do as well as we can with what we have and whenever there is more that one person involved then you will have to compromise. I promise you you will have a lovely wonderful birth!

    Cass: LOL she'd be well supported to have her 'choice' seeing i bet my house she had a nice planned csection on a friday morning, earning the ob huge $$ and not upsetting his weekend!

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Jun 2005
    USA
    3,991

    Oh meow, sorry but there really is no perfect birth ()
    Nah- I know. And I'm conscious of not expecting "perfect" but surrendering to the experience. But my aunty canbe very judgemental of people being too 'precious' with newborns and I don't want her in our space while I start babymooning and enjoy the bliss with my family in the way you only can with a HB. I think we'reresolved though. My Hand MWs are ready to boot her out... kindly She can have a peek at the baby while I'm on my high and happy to share the love but cord cutting and MWs leaving has to happen AFTER she's gone so she doesn't expect cuddles with my freshly born babe.

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