Oh Tegam- I'm sorry you've been left feeling doubt in yourself.

TBH I'm not really surprised by her reply. I think overall she sounds really lovely and supportive but I think she would feel it important in a written, recorded conversation to remind you of the role of trained birth attendents and the responsibilities you take on board if you choose to birth without them.

She has said she could provide pre & postnatal care (just potentially not immediately post-natally) if you want so I'd personally still be interested in having her involved if you want... unless you found her antenatal appointments became fear-mongering sessions.

She doesn't seem to get what you're up against with the hospital system BUT they can't force an induction or hospital stay so as she says, you could use them for pre & post-natal care if you want and just plan to turn up in labour (should you make it there) and your birth should be quick so they shouldn't have time to intervene. Or you could still just plan not to turn up.

At the end of the day, choosing a freebirth is about taking full ownership and responsibility for the birth. No-one can give you permission or approval for that- that would be contradictory as giving approval holds a certain ownership IYKWIM and no-one can own this but you. And that's beautiful! I've only just started to come around to the power of that myself... I realised I was still placing ownership of this birth with my IMs but it's much more empowering to claim it for myself.

All the bestand keep chatting it out!