Bella: you are right, it is about the team you have. that is what i liked about in the film the business of being born. that Abby was able to transfer knowing who the face on the other side of the door was going to be (and therefore able to protect her from the disparaging transfer comments that seem to follow).
I am really sorry for your friend . you are onto the right thought process though, i think that it is imperative to be constant and vigilant about what you need to have achieved in any birth process and situation and it is imperative that the birth support team is just that...to support you. we were very thorough in our appointments to really get it home what was acceptable and what wasnt. i had my IM and calmbirth practitioner (and back up midwife) discuss the importance of letting me alone (thankfully my IM was already on board in that respect) to allow the calmbirth full space. and then i threw frederick leboyers "birth without violence" at both of them and told them that we were following that to a tee. it raised a few eyebrows but i didnt care and wouldnt budge lol.

Arte: i havent had a chance yet, but am sending you happy birth blessings for your new little addition who should be making her entrance soon