Homebirth General Discussion #6

[Jennifer13]

Bella, I'm going to have my doula and second m/w take some photos for me. It'll never come out on film as I remember it anyway IMO. I'll just leave the cameras there and anyone not busy can snap away whenever they get a chance.

I'm not sure about my space needs, but I'd rather not have to organise anything else or have to phone yet another person.

[Cassius2]

Bella: i guess it depends on how you feel about your birth space and how you imagine and who you imagine there. that said, you may feel entirely different on the day and send everyone off packing lol. next time i will think hard about whether to get a real photographer in as i really want to have that recorded. i also WILL have a video done. i would love to see that as i have never witnessed a birth...only been through them lol.

so i guess in a round-about way what i am saying is YES! i would if i felt close enough and she knew the preciousness that is the birth space.

[Tegam]

Oh I would totally love photos of one of my births. In saying that I believe at your own home with chosen people its ok to have them there, I only think its an issue when u r being watched in a judging way. I mean I had more people watch me at my first birth but I chose them and felt safe. At Molly's birth I had a lot if people watching and I felt really violated. If I have another birth I would get photos so the moment is remembered, maybe even video but it would be by someone close and in my space. I have no idea if I have just made sense. Sorry lol

[Tegam]

Congrats on the last tri girls. Not long now!

[Artechim]

Cass, next time??!! Go on, you make beautiful babies. I challenge you to get a third September babe lol.

Yay for Ash and Loulabelle for getting the hb's sorted and to those reaching the third trimester.

[Cassius2]

Cass, next time??!! Go on, you make beautiful babies. I challenge you to get a third September babe lol.

well you did have to throw down the gauntlet didnt you

i swear i must only ovulate once a year lol

[Jennifer13]

Cass, thanks for the reminder about the video. I will leave the video camera out and charged too. I don't plan on having another opportunity to record a birth of mine!

[HotI]

I ordered the book "Hello Baby" today for my DD. Think i might ask my midwife if she has any big people books i can read. Think i need to start getting into baby-birthing mode.

One of my belly-buddies gave birth to her little girl sleeping yesterday. So heartbreaking.

How is everyone else doing?

How is Eutra...?, i think you are next on the list.

[HotI]

Babies Arrived

~Stoked~- August

Pip82 - September

Artechim - September


Babies On Their Way

eutra_phalia - November

Brogeybear- November

Bella29 - January

Jennifer13 - January

HotI - January

Beansbeans - January

*Ash*- February

loulabelle - February

Sara - May

...Em - May

[Artechim]

i swear i must only ovulate once a year lol

I swear I only shag once a year lol

HotI, sorry to hear about your belly buddy

[HotI]

I swear I only shag once a year lol

How do you handle someone close to you whose views and voices have the potential to mess with your head? Today it was, 'this bub is going to be so much bigger ....' (bcos i am big this time (i was big last time too)). Other times it is about 'what if something goes wrong...' I know it comes from a place of concern, but even though i don't share the same beliefs or fears, they still unsettle me at times.

[Tegam]

Yes I think it's unrealistic to say peoples comments don't affect us. At least you are aware of it. I thought I was stronger than them and look what happened with Molly's birth.

I think it's just that every pregnant women wants to do the right thing. And when the 'right' thing for our baby isn't the 'normal' thing it scares them as much as their comments scare us. It's like they hear ' you did the wrong thing having your baby at hospital, even if all we have said is 'I'm having my baby at home'.

With Tom I just use to use whatever come back I had in me at the time and it also depended on the audience. Sometimes it was sarcastic. 'well he is out third do it's not like it matters if something goes wrong'. To trying to educate people to just smiling.

Do what you have to for you. There is a huge battle that needs to happen to make home births normal but you have to worry about your fight first.

Hugs hoti

[Tegam]

Oh and I am so sorry to hear about your belly buddy. That is tragic for her and also hard for you all in her group.

[Bella29]

Hot1 -Other than accepting that people will ask you things that will make you ask questions at times, I have handled my DH's issues this time by asking him for the gift of his positivity about this birth. I asked, that if he did nothing else for me this time, that he protect and support me, by if not being positive, then not being negative. Maybe ask your friend to be supportive of where you are at by just by being protective of your mental state. Make sure you let them know that you have all of your bases covered and you arn't asking them not to question you because you haven't thought it thru, but because you have, your mind is made up and now you just want her/his help to have a great pregnancy. Tell them they can go do the research or get copies of what you have if they are really interested and want to learn.

Can I also say that it is ok for those sort of questions to make you ask yourself questions. Just let yourself ask them without placing a judgement on them. It is ok to have fears and worries about any kind of birth. No matter where you choose to birth their are risks and mums down thru the ages have all worried about themselves and their babies. So it is ok when those thoughts go thru your mind for whatever reason, be it because of a question or just because, for you just to let it come into your mind and then go out again. If I have learnt anything this pregnancy journey, it is that I don't have to be Zen at every moment to be just fine and in a really good place.

I hope that isn't too garbled and makes some sort of sense

XX Bella

PS everyone I have decided to have my friend photograph the birth

[Bella29]

whoops, double post!

[Tegam]

Bells your post was great. And congrats on the photographer.

[meow]

So well said Bella. I never understood the "what if something happens?" questions. If something happens then we deal with it. You've hired a MW, you have access to ambulances and hospitals... the same issues come up in hospitals. Sometimes things do go wrong, and you deal with it the best you can

How are you going Ash??? I hope you have found someone to support you.

I never seem to have the time to post much (and I've moved on to my new GAPS obsession these days) but I still love my HB buddies. I'm so darn clucky to do it again!!

[Tegam]

GAPS?

It's funny but if you think about it there are a lot of little hospitals that would ship someone out if anything went wrong, so can you imagine saying to them. .... ' oh have you thought of what could go wrong' oh no that's right. Hospitals a magical places where nothing goes wrong! Lol