Thanks MNB when I was preg with my 3rd child I told a few people that he was our last bub. By the third tri, I knew I wanted to have another bub. So now I just say this is 'probably' my last birth or 'probably' my last bub. The logical part of my brain tells me that this should be it but I don't feel 'done'. I am kind of hoping that I feel 'done' after this bub. But I may just be one of those women who has to grieve the end of her child-bearing years. I sort of envy women who know that they are 'done'. It would be reassuring to feel that way. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined that I would have 4 kids- 3 seemed radical! Up until my mid-20's, I wasn't having any kids! DH and I never said 'lets have a big family'. I just assumed I would only have 2 kids- like my own mum. But during my preg with #2, I knew that I wanted another.

Interestingly, DH told me years ago (when we were newly 'dating') that he wanted a large family -4 or 5 kids. I remember thinking 'this guy has got to be joking' While ttc this bub, I told myself that he/she would be the last one. But now I'm not so sure. DH and I haven't really discussed it, but he knows about my frequent use of the term 'probably' - and he hasn't commented negatively. I have also had a few friends and relatives say that they can easily imagine us having more kids. That probably isn't helping at the moment Maybe I need them to tell me we are mad!
I was speaking to a close friend- who stopped at 3, despite considering 4. She reminded me that, of course I will be clucky in the first year, and particularly after the birth. I don't intend to decide straight away anyway. I wouldn't be ttc for 2 or 2.5 years anyway.
But now is the time for me to focus on this little bub, whom I can't wait to meet.