Jen: I am also thinking about picking up an Ina May book while i am here. I miss my kitzinger book though (back at home!!!). so was thinking of getting the sarah buckley one to be my reading choice while we are travelling.
loulabelle: *mwah* he is going great guns with the feeding! how are the big kids going with the new arrival?
AFM: all good here. I have contacted my midwife back home and am on the books so exciting! so nice that i get to be with her again and not have to find someone. I dont have insurance to cover maternity here in the US though. soooo cross right now. it would be cheaper for me to fly back to Oz and have the scan done, but i want DH there so i will suck it up and spend a fortune to have them done here. i couldnt imagine doing it without him, especially if the news wasnt good IYKWIM.
What??! The scans must cost a bomb! We don't have maternity cover either... my H has to get a new job with maternity cover health insurance if we decide to have a baby here
Ina May was doing a talk in seattle when we first arrived... I was too swamped to go!!!! But maybe you'll be in luck and get to see her or some birthy types while you're in the US! I follow some local midwifery practices on FB for the local HB gossip
Joshua sounds divine loulabelle...feeling clucky just thinking of him! He sounds like a great feeder too.
Cas, that is insane! I hope you can save the money for the scans! I really liked the Sarah Buckley book, but it is pretty intense. For eg she's a bit anti ultrasound and even dopplers...her writing is very engaging though.
Thinking of all the pg mamas...hope you're all feeling well.
Hi everyone, I stuck my head in late last year, and sadly ended in miscarriage. But here I am again, almost 9 weeks pregnant, due in October (hot1 can you update me please!) I have not really wanted to ring the Dr or midwives yet, I have really for the first time ever not wanted to tell anyone about the baby, I keep waiting for it to change and slowly slowly something is starting to shift. We told the big sisters on the weekend and their joy filled me with much hope. I have contacted the homebirth midwife and she was very supportive, booked me in for the month I needed but said call back when I am 'ready' to start seeing her.
I guess by coming in here to say hello again, I am taking another step in believing that things will be different this time. I have certainly learnt alot about myself over the last few months, and I had an experience of miscarriage that was quite beautiful in it's own way. With my family at home, no intervention, so blessed really!
Hope you are all keeping well, I will come back and catch up on the threads later today....
cass- are you for real?! I knew the system over there was bad but never realised it was THAT bad! but, you're right, its important for DH to very around for the scans. I'm so happy you've managed to get the same mw again. oh its just so exciting! I'm still so thrilled for you.
ladybird- I'm so sorry you lost your precious baby. I had wondered where how you were going. I'm glad through it all thee was beauty.xxx congratulations on your pregnancy, I'm looking forward to being a part of this journey with you.
afm- gush, I'm still in newborn bliss, all these happy hormones. I want to do it again! let just hope DH will agree! the other day he made a comment about getting the snip! I just don't feel done though.
my others are so into him that its actually causing fights! both always want to have cuddles. they are being a bit more sensitive than usual though. I guess its more about not having me as available. dd has regressd a little with her toilet training and sleep and is pretending to be a baby quite a bit. poor poppet, I'm trying my best to give them as much love and reassurance as possible. I think its one of those things that just takes time though.
Welcome back, ladybirdflies, I hope this new baby is here to stay. And that your little baby lost was able to say goodbye at home too.
Loulabelle - ah no, not the snip! It's the only thing keeping me hopeful, that even though DP says no more, he refuses to do anything permanent. Although I give you it's hard to think straight when you're drinking in that newborn goodness. I cannot possibly think of not having another baby when I'm giving my angel kisses on her squidgy little face! Still in love here too.
Cassius - OMG on the scans! When will you come back home? I bought the books online and ironically two of them are coming from the US. They were so cheap, the postage was way more than the cost of the books and even then it was still cheap! So maybe worthwhile getting yourself a copy even if you don't bring it back. PM me if you'd like the details.
I have been stalking here with interest just wanted to say the best price I got on the books mentioned above was either UK Amazon or Book Depository with free postage.
I have about 20 books in my 'lending library' now and I think I have spent less than $200 on them all.
I haven't HBd but I did want to and hope to with the next, if and when it should come along, anyway, Ill go back to stalking now
Oooo dragoncookie, we'd love to have you join us for real so you can stop stalking!
Book Depository was good for me too, until they didn't have a couple of the books I wanted. I suspect a couple are out of print, so I needed to find secondhand copies, which AbeBooks finds for you.
I don't really intend for it to be any time soon, unfortunately.
That said, we haven't exactly been responsible at all in the last five months and given AF returned 5w PP with DS we should have been more careful!
Anyway, what will be, will be
I would guess most of you will be finished having babies by the time we are aiming to wait until the next (6-8years )
I'll hopefully be onto my 3rd or so by then DC, so I'll be there having babies with you
I was wondering, anyone else here who transferred? I know there's MadB, is that all? Can I ask those who did end up transferring, how you felt about it? Mostly, I feel good. I feel good because it was a successful Homebirth, in the way that the system of transferring if needed worked like it should have, everyone was happy, healthy and safe, the birth was great etc. so I feel good about that. And I feel good, no, great, about DD's birth. It really solidified for me that homebirth really is a philosophy, not just a venue. But, I do still feel little pangs of sorrow on not having the wonderful birth I did *at home*. Does anyone else feel this way or am I being ungrateful? When my waters broke there was meconium. It wasn't super dark, more tinged, and DD was strong and fine throughout labour. She was suctioned a few minutes after she was born, as they called in a paed just before I delivered and she had a bit of a crackly chest. I just can't help wondering whether it was really 100% necessary or not. About an hour after DD was born she did a big sticky mec poo all over DH, so she didn't poo heaps in me. She also had all the signs of an overdue baby, despite being born at 40+1, so I wonder whether that plays into it. Just something that keeps playing over in my head I guess. I'm glad that I got the natural, empowering birth I had hoped for, regardless of where I was, and that my support team were integral in helping me achieve that. I do know I am VERY much looking forward to a homebirth at home next time!
PZ, from what you've described, my m/w would not have transferred you under those circumstances. She would have kept a careful eye on the baby post birth and maybe the crackly chest would have called for a post natal transfer to get her checked out, but not for the birth itself. I discussed in quite some detail under what circumstances we would transfer, and light meconium with everything else fine (baby's heartrate, my coping, etc) would not have meant a transfer.
Did you discuss it with your m/w before the birth (I mean, obviously you did, but in how much detail)? The m/ws I know through our group mostly seem to have the attitude that they transfer when the mother wants to, so make sure she's fully informed before making her decision. They might recommend it if they thought there was very good reason, but only in extreme circumstances would they push for it.
But you're right about the philosophy being the thing, not the venue. Which is absolutely why you had an empowered birth!
Now I must finish off this work doc I'm supposed to be doing right now! Too distracted by BB...
Jennifer, I had a feeling that might have been the case for other midwives. Unfortunately, being part of the hospitals homebirth program trial, there was no wriggle room on things like meconium. I am very conscious about not being a woman that cries "had too". I've always stressed that I made the decision to transfer, I'm not about to chalk it up to being 100% I had no choice. But I was alone when my waters broke and when I saw they were tinged with green...well, I wasn't going to force the midwives to assist me when they would not have been comfortable and breaking the 'rules'. I honestly thought the suctioning of DD's lungs was not necessary, and it was just a policy that was being fulfilled. After the birth, I mentioned I had a slightly sore chest. Seeing as I have E cup boobs and laboured with all my weight over a fit ball, I figured that was why. An OB took my bloods, have me two ekg's and told me I'd be having a blood transfusion. I refused because I was fine. I think, although the program was excellent, that a lot of 'policy' still remained and that was its major failing. I know I will definitely be going with a private midwife next time. Sometimes I do wonder what would have happened if I had put my foot down and said I was not transferring, or not even mentioned my waters, as I had no interventions for it or anything else during the birth anyway. But it's no good playing 'what-ifs'. It is what it is. A wonderful birth, and hopefully next time I'll be able to do it all in the comfort of my own home.
PZ you're the reason so many of us can espouse home birth as low risk, because you were responsible and transferred as a safety measure when things weren't 100% perfect. Tbh I might have done the same with my first baby.
As it was, I did go into hospital for monitoring with dd before coming home. I wish I could erase that experience because it was ****ed. It was nearly midnight on Christmas night and I was being bullied into an induction and was forced to stay hooked up to the ctg for three hours! But I'm also glad I did it, because it meant I felt safe to birth at home in the way I did, 'knowing' all was ok.
Who knows if you would have been secure enough in yourself to achieve a great birth if you were stressed about the mec at home? So many factors come into play in a birth, and I think for you the hospital setting might have been exactly what you needed for dd's birth. Each birth is unique...and we all aim for the best case scenario and plan for the worst....what happens in the end is something in between.
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homebirth general discussion #9
Babies Arrived
Babies On Their Way
Mums of Babies Who Left Too Soon
so exciting! so nice that i get to be with her again and not have to find someone. I dont have insurance to cover maternity here in the US though. soooo cross right now. it would be cheaper for me to fly back to Oz and have the scan done, but i want DH there so i will suck it up and spend a fortune to have them done here. i couldnt imagine doing it without him, especially if the news wasnt good IYKWIM.
And that your little baby lost was able to say goodbye at home too.
PM me if you'd like the details.
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