So...I'm having a homebirth...need some support!

[Cassius2]

*mwah* thanks guys! you're support means a whole lot, i really mean it!

kelly: thanks for the link! i read what you posted in about 3 seconds...just gobbling up every bit of info like the cookie monster lol!

I have been given a list of IMs by a good friend of mine who is a midwife and has offered to be birth support, so i guess i will just have to go through the list. my main aim is to have someone that we feel comfortable with (obviously), but it would be ideal to have someone that has some understanding of birth trauma and healing and/or postnatal depression. having suffered with it last time i am needing to surround myself with understanding ITMS. she will not need to be a in a counsellor role (i have those networks in action already), but just someone that 'gets it' and will be able to understand some of my responses if they fall outside of 'normal'...ITMS...i might be asking too much though

Also, i am almost certain that i will need postnatal support. DH and I have no family around and last time i felt the loneliness in those first few weeks to be crippling. so it would be nice to have someone come around every now and then for a cuppa and a chat

argh, i feel silly, as i think i am asking for too much LOL! eeeppp! i dont wanna be seen as crazy pregnant lady lol!

[BellyBelly]

You are close to Rhea Dempsey who is my teacher, she is a counsellor and does birth debriefing - she'd be awesome

Birthing Wisdom ::: Rhea Dempsey, Child Birth Educator

[Oorki Galoorki]

I had a HB with my 2nd after a terrible birth of my 1st.
It was Incredible!

will Pm you some other dets

[thepixie]

It's not crazy to know what you want Cass! Go for it

[BellyBelly]

Forgot to add: I have two copies of Homebirth by Nicky Wesson in the online store if you want to get into some good reading I know what it's like to be in that info frenzy stage

BellyBelly Pty Ltd - Homebirth: A Practical Guide by Nicki Wesson

A perfect balance of practical information, compelling personal stories and research evidence, Home Birth is essential reading for all couples considering the alternative to a hospital birth. Leading childbirth educator Nicky Wesson dispels many common myths about home birth and shows how giving birth to your baby in your own home can be the most exciting and fulfilling thing you'll ever do.

[Ginger]

Quote (Also, i am almost certain that i will need postnatal support. DH and I have no family around and last time i felt the loneliness in those first few weeks to be crippling. so it would be nice to have someone come around every now and then for a cuppa and a chat )


i'll come around and have a cuppa with you!

[BellyBelly]

IM's are often LC's also, and if they are or aren't, they do their post natal visits with you - cuppas, chats and check-ups The postnatal care is more extensive than hospital care, more personal and you bond more with your midwife than you would an Ob

[Kitt3n]

Homebirth was the best thing I have ever done.

Need to go now but adding a note to subscribe, will be back!!

[Cassius2]

Tegam: thanks! in fact, it is midwives in uniform that really set me off! so in all honesty it would be sooooo good just to eliminate even that!

starting to feel...EXCITED!

Kelly: ahhhh. so this could be the norm for many IMs to provide some postnatal care then? goodo, something to add to my list of questions...better start on that list lol!

another question...sorry...

but are there questions that i should be asking? i mean, people do it with OBs so are there any really important 'must have' questions that you guys recommend? So far, i will want to know that the IM can do back up bookings for a hospy (just for peace of mind as DD had breathing issues in the post birth hours), and for me, if she/he has experience in dealing with women with birth trauma. But is there like an 'essentials list'? or things that you wish you had of asked?

thanks again guys, you are all giving me the grounding i need xx

[LionsandBears]

I understand Fiona Hallinan is very good. She's near you.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

I just had a homebirth yesterday after having had a traumatic hospital birth with my first DD. The experience was soooo different. In hospital I felt trapped, terrified, paralyzed by fear and pain, and unable to cope or help myself. Everything was being done TO me and I was completely at the mercy of the several people "assisting". The trauma of the experience didn't affect me at first as I dismissed it thinking "this is just what giving birth" but let me say, it's NOT!
The second time around, I was able to cope with the pain easily. Despite having an epi, narcotic AND gas the first time and nothing the second time, I was physically waaay more comfortable the second time. So much so in fact I was totally surprised when the urge to push came, I didn't even realize I'd transitioned lol. I don't want to play down how intense it was but just that it wasn't scary, I was able to cope because I was relaxed and comfortable and cared for. I never felt cared for in hospital.

HTH

[~Stoked~]

Cassius you SHOULD be excited!!! It will be the best experience of your life! I too had a hospital birth and then a homebirth, what a difference!!!

I was so sad to have the final visit with my beautiful midwife, so much so that i want to have another baby so i can go through the amazing journey again! On that final visit she stayed for about 4 hours and we talked heaps about the birth. We went through everything and it was great to "de-brief". After my hospital birth, i didn't have the opportunity to ask questions and talk about my feelings about the birth with someone who was there and it was so great to be able to do it this time.

I wish you the best of luck and i can't wait to read your birth story and hear how you went.

x x x

[jackrose]

I am having a VBAC homebirth in May, to avoid all of the debacle that went with my hospital birth last time and I am so excited too. I think the more you read the more you will be excited, it is a wonderful journey to be on and by the sounds of it, much better than what you would be going through if you were having to go down the hospital route again.

WRT your desire to have postnatal support, yes, the midwife is definitely there for that. (I have had 2 appointments with my Midwife so far, both at home and both going for over an hour as we chatted though everything! - So much more than I ever got at the hospital) You may want to also consider getting a doula for more of that support. I am looking for one at the moment to work with my DH, friend and midwife. Many hands make light work . A doula is a great support for you before during and after the birth and you may really like knowing you have all that back up.

but are there questions that i should be asking? i mean, people do it with OBs so are there any really important 'must have' questions that you guys recommend? So far, i will want to know that the IM can do back up bookings for a hospy (just for peace of mind as DD had breathing issues in the post birth hours), and for me, if she/he has experience in dealing with women with birth trauma. But is there like an 'essentials list'? or things that you wish you had of asked?

There are some good questions to ask listed in the home birth sections of great birth reference books like "The thinking woman's guide to a better birth" (Henci Goer) - I really really recommend this one I loved it - it helped my understand so much of what went wrong for me last time and made me excited about this birth and all the things which are lined up to go right this time. Also, Ina May's guide to childbirth has a list of questions such as

• Do you maintain statistics from your practice? May I see them?
• What is your plan if you cannot attend?
• What methods do you suggest to alleviate pain?
• What hospital do you transport to if necessary, and what is your relationship like with them?
• How often do you make postpartum visits?
• So you participate in regular peer review?

And one of my own, What suggestions/solutions do you have for a labour that has stalled?

I am happy to post more of them if you are interested, but otherwise, how exciting and good luck!!!

[Mummato2]

The second time around, I was able to cope with the pain easily. Despite having an epi, narcotic AND gas the first time and nothing the second time, I was physically waaay more comfortable the second time. So much so in fact I was totally surprised when the urge to push came, I didn't even realize I'd transitioned lol. I don't want to play down how intense it was but just that it wasn't scary, I was able to cope because I was relaxed and comfortable and cared for. I never felt cared for in hospital.

Your experience second time around sounds like mine.

I had a horrible birth experience first time around. Second time I went through a Birthing Centre that offered Govt funded home births - we had that as an option, but I ended up going through the Birth Centre because they had beautiful, homely rooms and everything I could want.

I didn't realise I was in labour until almost 1 hour before my daughter was born and I can't say it hurt until 15 minutes before she arrived - even then it was more pressure and an overwhelming pushing feeling.

Good for you honey for making this decision - I promise you'll love it!!