Tell me again, why do I want a VBAC homebirth?

[LadyNoor]

I'm 35 weeks now, and I whilst I think I'm well prepared I have this nagging feeling, this negativity in my head saying that I'm being irresponsible for VBACing at home. I know it's not right, I know VBACing at hospital would be even more difficult without the right supports.

I've only told 3 of my closest friends about my HB plan, one is very supportive, one is neutral but supportive anyway, and one I'm sure she wished she could say 'woman, you must be crazy!' .. but at least she didn't... And a couple more comments about 'HB is stupid' (their words) even though they didn't know I'm planning for HB, but enough to make me feeling annoyed

I know they said that because they're ignorant, but I didn't bother to try and make them understand. My approach is 'whatever, it's your loss for not knowing the truths about HB'. Why waste my energy and getting myself all upset when basically I really need to focus on birth.

Maybe I've just had enough of pregnancy and since I'm still struggling to suppress the thrush and other 'normal' pregnancy related issues, i.e. lost appetite, unable to sleep, and coping with the heat... I'm just feeling drained... *sigh*

Sorry for ranting and rambling, I really had to let it out my chest

[Tanya]

The success rates for VBAC at home are much higher than those in a hospital setting... that's the first reason I can think of.
Second reason is I have seen a HBAC and hospital VBAC and there is no comparison!! The HBAC ws so relaxed, beautiful! Just like a birth should be. The hospital birth was lights on no one watching but a monitor strapped on cannula in and pushing for a epidural.

Tell me, what do you want from your next birth?

[LadyNoor]

Hi Tanya,

Thanks for your reply. I think at the time I posted my ranting I was at the lowest point. I've come back around and starting to feel at ease again. I have done all I could, doing research, finding a care provider (IM) that supports my HBAC, booked myself at the hospital as back-up, did all of the necessary tests, and taking care of myself. Well okay, I might not have done as much exercise as I should but there's only so much a heavily pregnant woman can do!

I pondered over your question for the last few days. It made me think back to when I decided to HB, which was at 28 weeks. I remembered thinking there's no way I can be relaxed at hospital setting and be left alone to birth naturally, especially with VBAC. I may be a bit paranoid about it but I'm not taking my chances.

I know I'll labour better at home with no time limits and unnecessary interference/disturbance and amongst my own comforts and familiar things. I don't want to feel stressed out having have to "fight" with the hospital/staffs about how I want to labour at the hospital. Although my IM has assured me that they usually leave labouring women alone when they have a registered & qualified midwife accompanying them - again, I'm not taking my chances. (I don't really have a hospital labouring experience as my C/S was the result of big-baby-small-pelvis-Ob's scare tactic, which made me elected to be cut opened - wish I knew better)

I want a natural labour as I want to give my body a chance to do what it's designed to do - giving birth to a baby. I want my body to be free of drugs, catheter, painful scar that takes months to heal after birth - because those aren't the way birth supposed to be. I want to feel a total joy over my birth and a healthy baby without any anger, disappointment and feeling let down which I felt with my first baby and that feelings, believe it or not, lingered for a long time. I just want to give my body & baby a chance to experience what birth should be - regardless the outcome. I'm feeling positive but also I realise there are things I cannot control, should things go not according to plan at least I'm at peace because I'd know I have done everything I could.

I'll still need to do a little bit of homework (which are training/messaging my perineum and completing our birth supplies), but besides that I'm feeling really good that we are getting there and starting to feel excited about my HBAC.

Sorry for long post, obviously I had lots to say

[Tegam]

Sounds like u have answered your own question my dear! Your heart know what you want and your body knows what 2 do! Trust/patients/kindness 4 urself is all u need now.....

Good luck and I look forward to reading your beautiful birth story soon!

[Tegam]

forgot 2 say that u decided very late that u were going to have a homebirth, so u have a lot of emotions to process in a short amount of time. if you had planned a hb from the start you could have processed these feelings and armed yourself against other concerns well before labour seemed so close. IYKWIM???

[fourthontheway]

The way women are socially conditioned is detrimental to our beliefs around birth and our bodily capability. Think of all the birth scenes you've ever seen on tv, they ALL have screaming, coached pushing, and a doctor saving the day. Then think of all the homebirths you can watch on youtube. An unhindered homebirth is calm and safe! Watch lots of homebirth videos, talk to your mw about your fears, and protect yourself from the lies that people who know nothing about homebirth have

In a few weeks you'll be able to say "I did it, I had my baby AT HOME"!

[LadyNoor]

Your heart know what you want and your body knows what 2 do!

That is so right Tegam!

Fourthontheway,
The first time I watched the calm homebirth I could not believe my eyes, I couldn't believe how ignorant I was and how I've been blinded by scary stories & scenes for screaming women giving birth! Now I know the truth and I feel really good about it

Thank you both for the kind words. I feel in peace now and actually looking forward for the big day!

[Tegam]

Yes you think about that same seen of a women sitting or lying on a bed screaming giving birth. Its nuts, but then again i think i would scream if someone stuck me on my back. As it is i sound like a cow Moooooooooo and walk around the room like im a monkey ! But hey it works for me!

[LadyNoor]

Yes, I forgot about being stuck on their back!

LOL for your mooing-monkey posse! I'll try to remember that when trying to find comfortable position for me!

[Tanya]

You sound like you are in a great place to birth your baby right now
Do you know if you have a local homebirth group? May be good to have a bit of contact with ppl IRL.

Your birth is going to be AWESOME and I can't wait to read about it

[LadyNoor]

Somebody did mention to me about local homebirth support group, but I just forgot trying to find out about it

Thanks Tanya, I can't wait to write one either!

[Tegam]

where r u lady?