Oooh, lots of questions!

My mother... well, bless her, she told me I didn't look big enough (she's not seen me since August) and told me my memories were wrong. She thinks I'm a "mini-me" of her, so gets very upset when I do something that shows I'm not, be it feeling kicks "too early", not "looking pregnant enough" or just disagreeing with her PoV.

I actually haven't enjoyed myself in the bedroom since I became pregnant - not a psychological thing, as I noticed it before I knew I was pg (found out at 8 weeks). However, I like to know that DH finds me attractive, and that's one way of showing it. He's not a very verbal person (which is why he refuses to discuss this topic with me too!) so I demand demonstrations of his adoration!

The job interview: they're re-structuring my work; if I don't apply for my "new" job then they don't pay my maternity leave, or rather they pay me SMP, which is half of what I'd get if they make me redundant. So long as I have something to wear I've given up caring because I don't want the "new" job, I just want their money! I'd teach biology/science if I did the teaching route (I'm actually a medical geneticist posing as a PA!) so have started to gather up all the books my boss doesn't want - picked up one today on male hypogonadism. That'll look fab on my shelves!

Car shopping: I know what car I want. Something small but high, like a Suzuki Wagon R. They're quite cheap to buy second hand and to run. DH is looking at a Toyota Yaris, which means I'll have to bend down to get the baby in and out of the car. Which I don't want! We already have a pram that I can't wear my 4" heels with, and I love those (wearing a pair today - very tricky with a sports car and being over 6' tall). It will be better financially: the current loan is £500 a month, just under, and we wouldn't have to pay that, so could manage quite well for my year off without that being paid every month. Even if we kept the loan for another 6 months, we can afford it OK. Well, OK-ish.

I won't start on tax credits: just tax us less in the first place! I really hate having to apply and beg the government to give me my own money back - but we are entitled to about £15 a week, so I'm going to make sure I claim that once the baby is here. It's a lot of money to be claiming back... makes me think we should be taxed A LOT LESS. Sorry, bit of a bugbear with me! We have 17.5% VAT (on things like food, tampons... yes, those luxuries), pay... gosh, tax is sliding, but it is about 25% of my small income in tax and NI, then another 5% on a pension, then I pay back my student loan. (Quick, must hide the soapbox from Ryn!)

Health care is "free" here (paid by NI tax); it's quite good but as I work for the NHS I'm going to slam them for making me re-apply for a stupid job I don't want whilst on Maternity Leave! We get free prescriptions if we're under 18 AND in full-time education, over 65 or pregnant, we also get free physio but there's a long waiting list (unless you're staff); we have to pay for our own maternity girdles though! Even though we pay a tax for a "free" health service, we still have to pay for dentists and opticians. Cost me a small fortune when we were trying to figure out what was wrong with my eyes (still no answer), but at least I had all my dental operations before they stopped being free. I would recommend health insurance to anyone; you can see the doctor 6 weeks earlier than with the NHS (or even a full year earlier in some cases), you get nice food in hospital, your own room, a nursing team who aren't too over-worked to spend time checking you're OK... there's no way I'd want to go NHS for anything. I'm lucky that I'm healthy, I've only needed one operation and that was done privately.

Anyway, DH is still avoiding baby things, making an effort to NOT come to my antenatal appointments (I have one today he could attend as I made it for when he'd be home, but he chooses not to)... I suppose maybe when we have the car sorted he may be more interested. Or gets a job, but he's told me that he'll be bringing in an extra £300, or he might be doing, and that he wants "play money" with that. I'm more than happy to let him have some, but I want some too! We've gone for years without impulse buying things and every now and then it's nice to be able to buy a new film without re-adjusting the budget for the next six months. Or just buy a new t-shirt when you want to!

Thanks for talking to me so much about this - it has really made me re-appreciate my DH a bit! I'm still upset he wants nothing to do about the baby, but it is good to talk it out and not upset him with it all.