hugs hun! I know what that is like. My mum is soooo supportive and happy with all her grandbabies, I was 19 with my first, my sister was 20 with hers, now shes 23 with her 2nd and single, just like I was 23 with my third and his dad and I aren't together. But these things didn't bother her at all! She was just so excited to be grandma once again lol (think it helps that she was 19 with her first, me, too!)
However both my EP parents were far from happy, very disapointed, looking at all the bad things blah blah. It's a realy pain isn't it
Best bit I can tell you from past experience, they change when bubs comes Suddenly become doting grandparents hehe Ashtons other grandparents were so excited they stuck 51 photos of him all over their fridge haha
my fiance and I were 19 when we started trying and my mum knew and she sort of was in denial we got pregnant after 14 months but lost it and guess who was sitting there crying with me n DF MY MUM!!! soooo they will come around, and now im preg again after 9 months of trying this time and im not telling her til the 2nd trimester this time! im 21 and in my 4th and last year of uni and my fiance is an army officer and we are 21 and she will STILL find someway of making us feel bad, trust me!
ME 21 DF 21
BFP 2/1/09 our natural miracle!!!
Last edited by Tanya; January 4th, 2009 at 08:35 AM.
: PLEASE PUT YOUR TICKER IN YOUR SIG!
parents will always b parents
DP & i had only known each other for a short time before we decided to have a baby together. everyone thinks its an accident, but trust me it wasnt! tellin his parents was the easiest thing but it was hard to tell mine, we jst kept puttin it off. in the end it turned out nt TOO bad.
mums a bit disappointed that i decided to fall pg as all the time/money on education is wasted. she doesnt want me to b sahm & keep tellin me to go look for a job in my field. it took her a few days initially to come ard but now she loves her grandson to bits!
tbh its nt the early pg that scares the parents, the future is what scares them (whether u will b together long-term). but then again nothing is for definite in this world
I was 16 when i found out i was preg and my mum TOLD me i wasn't having it. I had already made up my mind before i told her and i didnt want to be influenced into anything, she was upset with me for a week and then she took me shopping for baby stuff. The day alyssa was born she couldnt have been happier and she already had 5 grandchildren.
Your mum and dad will come around, they may not do it quickly but as soon as they see your baby they will fall in love and they too will be thankful you had him/her
Don't panic, my mum quietly freaked out when I told her I was pregnant with my first... just because she didn't think my relationship was going to last and she's one of those people who kind of clings to her kids because it makes her feel needed to have them around, and then when they do things like move out or whatever she gets upset because it means they don't need her so much anymore... it isn't just younger parents either, one of my friends was 27 when she found out she was having a baby and her parents hit the roof, didn't speak to her for months and just generally thought she was 'ruining her life' because she was 'too young' to be a mum...
My mum was also mortified that I was making her a grandmother before she turned 50, but as the pregnancy progressed and she could see that my DH and I were blissfully happy and coping very well together, she calmed down and got so excited you would have thought it was her baby on the way!!
I'm sure your parents will relax, they are probably just concerned because they are so far away and can't be at your side in a moment's notice if you need them, and it always makes people feel old to see their kids do things like leave school, get married, and of course have babies... kind of reminds them they're one step closer to the grave, really!!
Good luck with them, just try and casually explain that they shouldn't be worried about you because they did their job right, they've raised a sensible woman who is capable of making her own decisions and handling any curveballs life throws at you, and that you want them to be involved (but not TOO involved, obviously). Some parents feel left out of this kind of stuff, especially if they don't live nearby, and they might feel a bit miffed that they might 'miss out' on this amazing experience.
I'm sure they will get more and more excited for you as they get a bit more time to let things sink in, though, so please try not to worry too much, or get angry at them.
My 17 year old sister is 24 weeks pregnant. She has been with her bf for 3 years and they have been living together for 2 years. When sis told mum, mum was disgusted and so disappointed and would not acknowledge the pregnancy. Mum felt awful for feeling this way, but as time goes on she has gotten a lot better. She now is constan tly buying baby things for sis and is starting to look forward to bub arriving.
Im sure your parents will warm to the idea as time goes on. Once bub is here they will fall head over heels in love
Thanks everyone for your answers, feel a bit more reassured now!
It has been a while since we told them, my mum I think is now ok with it, although I don't really discuss much about it with her. She did give us "What to Expect when you're expecting" for Christmas, although oddly it was only from her, not from her and dad... but it was still very lovely of her. We also had a bit of a chat about it (morning sickness etc) while we were up there over christmas.
My dad I still don't know...I really haven't talked to him much at all, basically just said "hi & bye" while we were up there, and spoke to him on the phone once since we've been back home, which was just the typical "what have you been up to, what's the weather like" conversation.
Haven't discussed what is going to happen when the baby is born, but I'm sure mum at least would come down for a little while. Things for the moment seem stable, so hopefully will remain that way. But it's a good lesson for us for when our kids are old enough to start having children, so I guess I can thank them for that!
My dad was upset when I got pg with DS and I was in my 30s LOL He thought we shouldn't be having any more kids. Now he adores him.
Reading this from a mother's POV (My oldest is 17) there isn't just the whole my baby is having a baby thing its the realisation that you are moving into the next phase of your life and thats scary. I know I hate the thought that my pg and baby days are over and if DD suddenly announced she was pg I would have to deal with the fact that I was moving into grandma territory and I would be really depressed. So sometimes its not about you its about how they feel about themselves IYKWIM?
I told my father over the phone (despite the fact we lived in the same suburb) and asked for them both to come to dinner in a local Asian restaurant. I planned it so Mum wouldn't make a scene. She went quiet and walked out for about 15 minutes. Didn't really talk to me, but after about a week, she was over the moon. I was the same age she was when she was pregnant with my brother.
When I was pg with my first at 17, my parents were all kinds of wonderful and supportive. I couldnt ask for better. Even now, pg with #6, Dad would give me the shirt off his back, and Mum is coming down in July so I don't have to have baby alone - no matter how it plays out. It was so wonderful to hear.
However, with my first baby, my XMIL hated me. She made no attempt to hide it either. As far as she was concerned I was a gold digger - for what I still cant work out. Not like he was a millionaire.
Anyway, when XH called them up and told them, she was obviously not pleased at all that I was having *her* grandchild. She used to call me every morning after XH went to work and just start abusing me over the phone. I'd hang up, wait, pick it up to call XH and she was still on the other end screaming. Hang up again, go make a cup of tea, pick up the phone - she'd still be there. No clue what she said to me or about me during any of this, and quite frankly these days I know for a fact she couldnt have been more wrong. It wasnt that I "didn't deserve her son". He didn't deserve me.
My MIL now was iffy when I got pg with DD2. She didn't think DH and I would last, and actually asked DH if it was possible that someone was trying to trap him again. *sigh* He still hasnt told her about #6. He knows that it will get him lectured and he couldn't be bothered listening to it. He's 47 for crying out loud. I think he is old enough to make these kinds of decisions.
No wonder DH spent 15 years hanging around with my family and wanting to be a part of it.
Not sure if you were aware from my posts in Belly Buddies, but I am about to turn 23. DD1 was born just after my 20th birthday, DD2 was born when I was 21.
My mum was 20 when she had my sister, and 23 when I was born. She knew that if they had said anything about being too young, I would have said something about her being young when she had her kids, and many daughters end up having kids around the same age as their mums did. She is 46 and has 3, almost 4 grandchildren, whom she loves to bits. My kids have 5 of their great grandparents still living. When DD1 was born she had 6, but my grandma passed almost halfway through my pg with DD2
They will come around hun, I think what Mrs Mac said is quite true, often they just need to realise that they are moving into the next stage of their lives, and get past the stereotypes that come with it.
Mum is good now, she even gave us $200 earlier this week to go towards a pram or cot for bubs, which I thought was really nice of her! And she was also talking about going shopping herself for some baby clothes and finding me some nappy buckets! So she is being really great though, I think she has finally accepted that yes they will be having a grandchild so they better get used to the idea! Don't know how my dad is, still not really talking to him so it's a bit awkward there....
It's all pretty good at the moment though, I don't know if I could go through telling them again though knowing their reaction! Lol
Hi hun.
I haven't read through all the posts, I will come back when I have time, but I completely understand.
I fell pg with DD1 at 17. They were way more than just disappointed. They threatened a trip to Sydney for a termination & all sorts of things.
Then I fell pg with DD2 when I was 20. They were disappointed then. I was pretty upset coz I was older, I thought I was doing ok with DD1 & I thought they agreed. Plus I'd waited 3 years too. I was actually proud of that.
DS was the first congrats I got. I was 23 when I fell pg with him. & married by then too. All 3 have the same father & even though they weren't happy (weren't happy right up til DD1 was born) they do love the kids.
They are the best grandparents I could ask for. My kids are very lucky that all their grandparents are so good
Good luck hunny, you'll get there.
My mother reacted like someone had died. She said it was like I was wasting my youth and missing out on so many valuable experiences. She had me at the same age I had DD (22) and I think she was upset because she felt she missed out IYKWIM? She even asked why I wasn't smart enough to get a termination...
I was so happy about my pregnancy and was rather annoyerd that she was being so dramatic about it. It's not like I was begging her to raise my DD so...hmmm...
Suddenly become doting grandparents hehe Ashtons other grandparents were so excited they stuck 51 photos of him all over their fridge haha
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