I say blob's father for the first time in 3 months the other day and it went really well, We didn't fight or argue just had a great time catching up and playing with the kids (he's got 2 boys)... But it also brought up alot of feelings that i thought i had gotten over, but hadn't... I realised although hes a complete and udder jerk i still love him...
Since then he's been calling alot and acting interested... but i just can't do it again. I can't fall for him and not know where its going... I can't get attached to his boys again, and visa-versa~ it's not fair on them! But it's soo hard not falling back into the same routine...
But he's really pi**ed me off today, i asked him for help for 20mintues of his time, just to pull down a bed and put in on the trailer for me... I would do it, but it's jsut too heavy! And his reply nope i'm busy~ His bloody busy is going and sitting at home! Why is it that he would bend over backwards for everyone else but when it comes to me he does nothing!
Grr it's just sooo not fair, why does he get away with everything no consequences... We made blob together, out of love... yet he gets to walk away scot free like his life hasn't changed the slightest... Whilst i get stuck with the finances of getting ready for a newborn, the lost of my time through doc appoints so on and forth, moving back in with my parents because i needed there support, the horrible sleep, the sickness, and being uncomftable - don't get me wrong i wouldn't change it for the world!!! But It just annoys me he gets away soo freeingly!!! GRRR...
It's problerly just my hormones making mountains out of ant hills! But I only asked for 20 mintues of his time!!! He seems to find time for everyone else but me!!!
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