I was the first of my friends too and I was 20 when I became pregnant with my first. And I had some pretty weird things said to me. It's normal. You aren't weird at all.
I was the first out of my friendship group too.
I was 24 when I got married and 25 when I had DD.
A good friend had her baby 3 months after me.
My DH is 5 years older than me, and was ready for marriage and kids on the first date!
I don't think there is any right or wrong way, just different priorities and feelings.
Some of my male friends are approaching 30, and are still doing the same type of thing we were doing at 18.
They literally have not changed (or grown up) at all.
You are not odd, and neither am i ! but i certainly wasn't ready for kids when i was in my teens or early 20's. At this time, i also can't see me continuing to procreate in my late 30's or 40's, but can understand how that is the best time for other women.
You're not weird or old fashioned at all! Everyone has different priorities in life. There are pro's and con's with having children younger or older.
I've always wanted to be younger mum. I think the pro's outweigh the cons. My mum is 42, she is fitter than me and we have a fantastic relationship because there really is not much of a generational gap. We do so much together because she is able. A lot of my friends mum's are in their 60's, and while they're close, it's different. They don't do the things I'm able to do with my mum. They don't relate because they're from a very conservative generation. I want to be able to do things with my kids. My dad is 53, I'm closer to him than my mum probably (just our personalities I guess), so definitely not older but still a got a bit on my mum, but he's fit and he'll be able to go down to the park and kick the footy with his grandchildren. DH's parents are 54 & 50, the kids are 32, 30 and 28. So we both grew up similar so were on the same page. Also, DH is 30 and we do not want to leave it any later! We use my parents as a guide, as my dad was 30 when I was born and 36 when the youngest was born.
If you wait until you're 35/40, and your kids wait till they're 35/40, you're going to be a pretty frail boring grandma! (general 'you' btw). I guess I have a lot of focus on grandparents as I never had any around growing up and I'd love that for my children.
As for other younger girls who prefer to party and wait to have kids, good on them for being honest! At least they're not having kids, dumping them with grandparents and partying. The men should respect that, especially if they're around the same age. If they were pushing 30 like my DH I'd understand the desire. Most couples I know it's the man wanting children. It's not weird at all but I do believe there is a bit of naivity involved.
I don't think young or old is weird or abnormal. A lot of the time its circumstances. A lot of older mums (ie me) aren't in a position to have children earlier. I didn't meet my DH until I was 35. I was ready for kids earlier but the men in and out of my life either weren't the right ones or there were other things working against me/us, so it all happened much later for me.
Younger women might have a career that they have spent years studying for and only just begun, and want to pursue before taking time out for children. The good old thought that as far as women go you're born, go to school, get married to a 'good' boy from a 'good' family and have kids is thankfully a dead and buried belief for most. If you want a career you should definitely pursue it. Hey, even if you want to be selfish as some have called it and spent your 20s partying then you should do that too. Having said that, if you're young and you and your other half want kids now then go for it. What is right is going to be different for all of us, but nothing could be worse than having a child before you're ready just to fit in with either some social norm or with your partner's wishes.
i was the 1st from school era friends to have a kid, but 5th person/couple to get married, i think that is an anomaly with my friends tho cos people are always shocked that so many of us are married. there is one other couple my age with a DS a few weeks younger than our DS. most people i know, married or not, DH's age or mine are still going out like they have just turned 18. i think it depends a lot of the particular sub-culture you are raised in, as well as your parents experiences and views but it does vary from person to person as well. as lady neon said, good on the girls who are saying heck no to kids atm rather than doing what other people want from them.
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! but i certainly wasn't ready for kids when i was in my teens or early 20's. At this time, i also can't see me continuing to procreate in my late 30's or 40's, but can understand how that is the best time for other women.
and we have a fantastic relationship because there really is not much of a generational gap. We do so much together because she is able. A lot of my friends mum's are in their 60's, and while they're close, it's different. They don't do the things I'm able to do with my mum. They don't relate because they're from a very conservative generation. I want to be able to do things with my kids. My dad is 53, I'm closer to him than my mum probably (just our personalities I guess), so definitely not older but still a got a bit on my mum, but he's fit and he'll be able to go down to the park and kick the footy with his grandchildren. DH's parents are 54 & 50, the kids are 32, 30 and 28. So we both grew up similar so were on the same page. Also, DH is 30 and we do not want to leave it any later! We use my parents as a guide, as my dad was 30 when I was born and 36 when the youngest was born.
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