I know what you are feeling and a big hug to you. Even we have been trying from 2006, everyone around me fell preg or are currently preg and i was just standing by their side seeing them cuddling thier babies or talking about how good it feel to be pampered being pregnant and so on.
this year in April we decided to start with IVF, financially we were not sound we just had enough for 1 cycle, but we kept praying and started the process in June. as things does not go according to our plan, i sufferred with hyperstimulation symdrome where i ended in the hospital for 10 days in HDU unit...and they had to cancel the ET for that cycle.
i kept crying as to being young , chances of hyperstimulation was next to nil but maybe God had another plans. out of 24 eggs only 4 could make it(so we were completely lost and as normal person i felt i was the cause).
1st FET - i was very positive, took lot of care with the embreyo quality been close to A quality, we had negative, and again i cried from morning till i went to sleep that day.
so next cycle we decided not to tell any of our friends what we were doing and after the transfer i did all my normal activities, i lifted a heavy box, i usuallly go for a hr walk on weekends, and i rememberer i kept thinking how to proceed with next IVF, as we have to save money and we cant do it immediately....my TWW was just planning and i completely forgot about the embreyos in me... and by Gods grace we got our +ve, but from last 3 weeks i am on complete bed rest as i was close to MC...
hang in there girl and try to think something other, i know its difficult as this was the first month i did not think about getting positive but planning for months ahead and was planning for holiday(visiting India), and here comes our miracle baby having its own plans.
Last edited by onthefly; December 9th, 2009 at 12:43 PM.
you survive because you have too, and because you can despite all the tears, grief and sadness. You survive because there is always a small flicker of hope, no matter how hard it gets, that you will one day hold your baby, and all the injections, $$, mood swings etc will be worth it.
I had a bit of a meltdown the other night... but your messages made me cry - and reminded me that I am not alone...
I think that I might actually book in to see the counsellor @ Repromed - maybe it will help to vent at/to/with someone that's not my poor husband... I'd love to be able to come up with some 'tools' that help me stay in control during a meltdown
Feeling better at the moment... I know that one of my best friends is booked in to be induced in the next couple of days... trying to G myself up for that sms message... trying to hold myself together...
Have hope
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you survive because you have too, and because you can despite all the tears, grief and sadness. You survive because there is always a small flicker of hope, no matter how hard it gets, that you will one day hold your baby, and all the injections, $$, mood swings etc will be worth it.
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