hi lisa,
we were different again. We told friends and family that we would need IVF mainly cos i had a large tumor removed from my ovary just after our wedding and it all sort of came out in the wash in terms of our diagnosis. We didn't discuss it much with anyone after that tho.

We didn't tell anyone, not one person, while actually doing IVF. we were asked many times over the years about when we'd breed but always said "oh it's expensive, we are still saving up for it (ivf)'' which was partly true (wanted to get some decent savings away pre bub).

We did 6 months of IVF before getting our BFP in march and no one knew. We will do the same again when we go back for number 2 (if we are blessed to be able to have another) as it was truly the best thing not telling anyone.

It took a lot of pressure off and we avoided awkward questions. Plus most people have no idea about fertility treatments and resort to fairly ignorant statements, even if they think they are being helpful. It also helped keep our lives 'normal' and didn't become the whole and sole focus - all anyone asked us about. so was good for our sanity.

as regards to DH's reaction. He too had poorly performing sperm and I don't feel comfortable telling people this. I'm sure he doesn't care but I don't want people thinking he's "less of a man'' or crap like that. So if asked why we needed IVF i just say, "oh we both have a few issues" and that's it, keep it vague. that or "we are completely useless at baby making that's why". lol.

maybe you guys can reach a compromise or he'll agree to let you tell 'one' friend or such.

good luck, hope that helps.