Thank you so much for responding! I actually have never mentioned the ex to her but in private conversations with my son, who is apparently telling her. I have already decided I need to stop doing that. As I said in my post, I was thinking of writing the fiance a letter and mailing, letting her know I understand and appreciate her position. It is so hard when we are long distance and I really don't know her very well, so it will take time. As you re-read my post, do you think you would be accepting of a letter from your future mother-in-law of this kind? I definitely don't want to rock the boat, yet I still want her to understand this is completely about the grandchild and will not affrect our relationship at all.

If anyone else has an opinion, I'd love to hear it.

Congratulations on your new baby! What an exciting time for you!