thread: How do you handle 4kids (of which 3 under 5) AND work full-time..

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    Brisbane
    116

    How do you handle 4kids (of which 3 under 5) AND work full-time..

    Ok.. i'll admit i'm tired.. emotional and exhausted. But feeling really overwhelmed at the moment.

    DH work away most of the week.. so it's me me and me to do everything.

    I was up a fair bit last night to the 19mo and 4.5yo.. and all I can think of now.. is when the next bub comes, how am I going to handle it!?

    We transitioned the 19mo into a big girls bed in with her sisters (all 3 girls share the large rumpus room), but she has been having trouble settling, so in pure exhaustion, i've let her sleep in the cot in the nursery. This normally isn't an issue, but kinda need that spot for the new bub in a week or so!

    Add into that, I most likely will only be having 2 months off work.. agrh.. it is all so overwhelming.

    I heard once that there was a service the government offered for baby sitting after hours that your CCB applied to if you have 3 under 5.. not family day care.. it's like an occassional service? Anyone know of this?

    phew.. thanks for listening.. i might go have another cry.. try wish this bub out of my tum and try to remember what god has blessed me with and be thanklful..

    any advice on how you handle things.. i'm ALL ears!

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Hunter Valley, NSW
    624

    There is a service called "in-home care". Not sure where you can access that from - maybe talk to your baby health nurse/doctor/etc. Ours is run through our Family Day Care service.

    This is where a carer will come into your home and look after the children (rather then take them out to a centre/FDC). There is a certain criteria that has to be met before you can access this service and I really don't know what it is.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    Brisbane
    116

    thanks for that mollycat. i'll talk to the midwives etc when i have this bub, as i plan to stay in hossy only min time of 6hrs.. so need to find out what home support I can get.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682

    Are there any BB members that live near you that can come and help out? Take the kids for the day so you can have all day with just the newby?

    ETA - I found this by googling:-

    In Home Care

    In Home Care is a child care initiative announced as part of the Commonwealth's Stronger Families and Communities Strategy. Eligible families may have child care provided in their own home (where care is available).

    In Home Care places are targeted to families who have no access to existing child care services, and/or their circumstances mean that an existing child care service cannot meet their needs, and where the family meets one or more of the following criteria:

    * the child has, or lives with another child who has an illness or a disability;
    * the child's guardian (or guardian's partner) has an illness or disability that affects their ability to care for the child;
    * the child lives in a rural or remote area;
    * the work hours of the child's guardian (or guardian's partner) are hours when no other approved child care service is available;
    * the child's guardian (or guardian's partner) is caring for three or more children who have not yet started school.

    The Department will continue to have discretion to allow exemptions to the eligibility criteria for a family in special and exceptional circumstances. Services will be required to contact the Department in such circumstances.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    Brisbane
    116

    Thank for that Arimeh! I'll see what I can find out. It's not something I think I would rely on.. but would be nice to use if I needed IYKWIM.

    As for support.. My mum is hopless, alcoholic and gambling addict. My dad lives an hour away and works OS for 40weeks/year. My stepmum is a joke, will only look after kids once they are totally toilet trained and can feed themselves. Plus she's a clean freak, and when we are there, if I feed my kids, she literally hands me a chux and asks me to wipe up the mess AS they are eating, rather than waiting til the end of the meal (she says the vermon will appear b4 the end of the meal!).

    My brother and SIL I love dearly and would love to live closed, but they are 50mins away. I'm trying to convince DH to move closer to them for the support.

    My in-laws live within 10mins.. but they are all in their late 40's with teenage kids and all work FT, so not always available or able to help me out.

    It's really hard for me to ask for help, but I called my MIL and paid for her flight to come over for 3 weeks 6/3 - 29/3 when the new bubs here to help out.

    I've only just stopped FT work myself.. but I've kept the 19mo and 4yo in care on a monday. So that will be my day to just enjoy new bub.

    Sorry for rambling.. thanks for listening

  6. #6
    Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Brisbane
    6,683

    Oh hun, I can't imagine how you handle it. I have two kids and work full time and I am exhausted! I really hope you can get some help hun.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    Brisbane
    116

    I'm just going bonkers I think. You know the whole over pregnant feeling. This pg has been the quickest for me, I haven't stopped to enjoy it.. which is wrong.

    I want my kids to have the best in life, but it means I sacrafice so much.. but that's what being a mum is!

    Between the 3 girls.. They have dance on mondays, softball on thursdays, swimming on friday and sat and then softball on sundays.

    My MIL is wonderful, I luv her to bits and I was asking her the other nite how she did it. She had 5 under 8. She said you just do.. which I know I will.. but I hope I can get some sanity every now and then.

    I think I'll get shares in Gloria Jeans. nothing I luv more than sitting in there, by myself.. Latte.. caramel slice and the latest mag.. ahhhhh bliss.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Melbourne
    139

    I just wanted to say my DH did the interstate truck driving aswell, it was horrible!!!! He started the job when ella was 8 days old and it only lasted 4 months because we felt like we didnt even have a family anymore. I'm normally strong and organised and happy all the time but during that time I just cried!! Thank god that is over! I dont say this to upset you more but to say I think i know how you feel and I send you big hugs!! All the best with bub #4!!!

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    Brisbane
    116

    Thanks Mel.. it is difficult, but it's the life we have chosen for the time being. He's been doing it for nearly 3 years. I'll probably only last another 1 year of it.. then he will have to do local.

    He is a very supportive hubby though.. so i am blessed. he is there for me in every way possible.

    I've got an OB appt 2moro, they are going to S&S me so fingers crossed bub will be here by the end of the week.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    May 2007
    Not alone!
    268

    Oh Mum of many big hugs to you. I know where you are and when you are in it its so hard to see the light when you are not even sure you are in a tunnel with an end! I have 3 preschoolers still and homeschool the other 4 so I really need to work sanity breaks into my day. I aim for small things like all the children (not matter how old) have 1 hour quiet time after lunch. This sometimes gives me time to catch up on job or simply crash in exhaustion! Driving my kids to activites I sometimes zone out and put on my music and ignore them, not really they usually laugh at me singing all the words to songs they don't know and bopping away!! I will get a dvd and so chocolate (when hubby is away) and switch off the brain in the evening. I have all my family in NZ so a nice long, long distance phone call is always a help and escape. Of course escaping into Belly Belly is another option and there are always wonderful supportive people in here. Hang in there girl and I know its so hard being pg as well but very soon you will have a precious little bub to cuddle and somehow you will do it just because you are a fantastic mum and love your children.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Melbourne
    139

    All the best with your app, hope buby comes out very soon for you!!!