Hey for dinner i at times split the times kids eat.... like my little one 28 mth old will eat either his veges or wheetbix (yes for dinner lol) at 5pm then he is changed and ready for bed by 6/7pm with a bottle.... Then with him out of the way the main dinner is cooking and dh gets home at 6sh so we dh me ds 16 and ds 10 eat at 8pm at the latest! then after dinner ds 10 helps clear the plates and then he brushes his teeth toilet then bed to read for 1/2 hr depending the time of course.

With you maybe at 4 pm your younger ones ds 12 ds 9 could help do the veges or make the table for dinner whilst you get your baby and ds1 fed and settled and put 6mth old in basinette or cot or wherever .. then you could tackle the ds5 with his bath/homework and maybe somehting to eat depending on how ratty he is lol and then by 6pm at least you have 3 including the baby organised fed and ready for bed . Sometimes the whole family eating at the table has to fly out the window when your doing it alone .... NOW it is about 6pm and stuff when your husband comes home (i say it that way as it seems he doesnt help anyway so...) you can actually have a glass of wine and continue with your dinner and hopefully by 7pm you dh and the two older kids will be fed ..... Does that sound like a plan that would be doable at your house?