Thanks everyone. I have decided to stop with referring to her at all (to anyone) as my step-daughter. As far as I am concerned, while I didn't give birth to her, I make her lunches everyday, cry when she is hurt (as well as when she gets an award, has a dancing concert or says she loves me up to the sky!)and get up to her in the night when she has a bad dream, I get to be her mummy!

Her own mother is not maternal and doesn't participate in her everyday life, just there for the birthday parties so she can have a photo taken to say she was there.

We are mummy and daddy to both girls, and I am very proud of both of them for settling so well into our little (yet complicated) family.

The girls love to think they are twins. In the bath the other night, they were searching each other for freckles that were the same. They found that they each had one between their fingers, so that made them twins!

Thanks again for your advice

Jo
xx