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Thread: Are you a mother of more than 3?

  1. #1

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    Default Are you a mother of more than 3?

    Hello everyone,

    I was wondering whether you mothers of 4 or more children could give me feedback on how number 4 changed your family life.

    I found that number 3 changed everything for us ...... we became SO busy! There is always one child on the loose, and things became more complicated with co-ordinating a family.

    It used to be......my husband would say - you take her.....and I will take him........but now....with 3 it's - you take him, I'll take her, and where is the baby!?:eek:



    So - my question - how did number 4 change your family.......please be really really honest.......I need honesty! I can take the ugly ok! It's really important......

    Thanks xx

  2. #2

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    Hello! I have 7 and the biggest change for me was from 2 to 3. Ive heard a lot of people say the same thing. Are you thinking of having more?

  3. #3

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    Hi. I definately found the leap from 2 to 3 difficult. My Dh and I didnt have one each lol...and we had a lot of juggling to do! One always has an activity on or a friend to visit or something...but as they got older it became great because if one was busy there was always someone else to play with. Honestly the jump to 4 was different for us because we had an almost 7 year gap between 3 and 4...but no nothing was quite like 2 to 3.

    Jo

  4. #4

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    I have a 12 year gap between 3 and 4, which I don't think is what you're after. I found the leap from 2 to 3 very difficult too, personally.

  5. #5

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    Thank you everyone for your replies....I appreciate your opinions!

    Alana

  6. #6
    Fire Fly Guest

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    Wow, ive never been in this thread and just found the answers ive been looking for. All though not very positive ones.

    You ladies say the change from 2 to 3 was hard. Do you ever say if we could do it all again we should of stuck with 2??. I have no doubt you love your kids to bits so im not going to judge you if you say yes 2 would of been ideal.

    Reason i ask is as you can see we are TTC#3, but it took a long time for us to be comfortable with this idea. And our worries were that fact that our kids are great, they get on, they both sleep well and they are easy. One in each hand so to speak. I ofter look in the back of the car and think 'gee could i cope with one more'. How would we go at shopping, or just doing day to day stuff. Does the middle child get forgotten and the eldest has to fend for them selves.

    Id like honest answers to as this is an on going discussion with us as to whether we are nuts for thinking of going again or should we be happy with what we have.

  7. #7

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    Hi Firefly,

    I can't lie to you and say that it wasn't hard when number 3 came along.

    Before number 3, my husband and I would have equal duties - as most of the time we each had one child to look out for - but number 3 tips the balance, and we were out-numbered! DANGER DANGER!

    But, something that we didn't expect was the love that number 3 received as the result of having 2 older siblings....and the joy that it generated amongst our 3 children.

    Our first 2 were great babies and very easy - but number 3 was quite different, and threw many challenges in our direction.

    I too, was very concerned about my 2nd baby being the 'middle child' - because she was my baby.......but she loves her little brother, and she gets along with him far better than her older brother! I don't think she is 'forgotten about' - and I make serious attempts to make sure it's not the case (in fact - I think she is a bit spoilt!).

    Yes - I do expect my eldest to be fairly independent - but there's nothing wrong with that - and in fact, he loves the responsibility. We make special rewards for him being responsible in the household, and take him out to dinner (just him and me) or to the movies (just him and daddy).

    Yes things changed, and we had to roll with the punches until it settled down - but our 3 are GREAT! And in hindsight, I just wish that we were a little better prepared for the changes - but I certainly wouldn't wish that we stopped at 2 - because we wouldn't have our always gorgeous/always cheeky/always unpredictable/always loveable number 3.

    I think you just need to be prepared, and make sure that you and your partner are tight and ready for the next challenge.

    Good luck with your decision,

    Alana

  8. #8
    Fire Fly Guest

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    Thanks heaps Alana, you gave me all the answers i needed. I sort of knew deep down that number 3 would change things, and at times it would be difficult. But id assume that once that newborn stage is gone and their little personality comes out that it makes it all worth it.

    I still have days of doubt but i have more days of longing for another. I feel as though we need one more, i feel as though our family will be so much more special with one more (not that its not special now). Im sure at times DH thinks im mad for wanting to add another because it may tip the apple cart, but in saying that he totally understands when he sees our kids interact or just when they do the silliest things and make us laugh. Our kids are so unique and both are very different. We love them both so much and im confident we could manage another.

    Just have to see if nature agrees now. Thanks again.

  9. #9

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    Kerrie,

    the leap from 2 to 3 was logistically difficult, but completely worth it as far as I was concerned. DS2 was a gorgeous, happy baby, and at no point would I have thought gee, maybe I should have stopped at 2! If you feel in your heart that you're ready for 3, go for it! You won't regret it, I'm sure!
    Last edited by sushee; May 11th, 2009 at 01:37 PM.

  10. #10
    Fire Fly Guest

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    Thanks Sushee, we will just keep plodding along and see what comes our way. If its meant to be then it will happen again for us. Thanks for the reassurance.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fire Fly View Post
    Thanks heaps Alana, you gave me all the answers i needed
    I really glad that my experiences have helped you with your decision making.

    Alana

  12. #12

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    i would like to say as being a mum of 4 and twins on the way #4 was the hardest for me as i had up until beau really good babies had no problems what so ever good sleepers and feeders but with #4 he was everything i had never experienced awake every hour to feed and didnt settle to sleep unless his dad put him to sleep so he couldnt smell my milk i was a complete mess i didnt think i was ever going to smile again i was that stressed but when he 1st smiled and laughed i knew it was all worth the hardship and around 3 months we finally had him all sorted and knew what he liked and disliked and i tell u at just over 2 he is still a individual no one messes with him or his belongings haha but i wouldnt change anything for the world. hardest part is deciding am i ready for another child i didnt have that choice and i found we all cope with what we are given. even though i feel like my house has been taken over by gremlins somedays but the other days i cant stop smiling and laughing at the silly things they do and say if it wasnt for my children i think i would be lost and i am glad they have each other as i am a only child and my dh is of 1 of 6 siblings and i love how they all get along. the bad comes with the good and the rewards are great ...

  13. #13

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    Just moving this to the Larger Families forum

  14. #14
    Fire Fly Guest

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    Thanks again girls. Im content with keeping on trying till middle of next year. I dont intend on being this old f**t having kids so June/July is when i stop if we havent concieved before then. I truly believe that if its meant to be then it will happen. If it doesnt then thats ok to, at least we have given it a go.

    FionaJill keeps saying she could see me with 3 so soon see if her vision is correct, Lol. She is a wise young owl.

  15. #15

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    hmmm got to go look for FJ. I wonder if she can see me with 5!!! ROFL!!

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeki28 View Post
    i would like to say as being a mum of 4 and twins on the way #4 was the hardest for me
    Thank you for your response Cheeki! Your reply is very helpful, and I appreciate your frankness. I am having quite a difficult/emotional struggle at the moment......and really appreciate EVERYONES responses - particularly from those of you that have had 4 close in age - because it is very helpful to me.

    Many thanks again,

    xx

  17. #17

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    Kerrie...ive never not for a minute ever regretted my decision to jump from 2 to 3 and then 3 to 4. I love my children..i love the chaos..i love their interaction and i love that the will always have each other and that their children will have aunties, cousins and so on.

    Like Sushee might have to check with FionaJill and see what the future holds for me too hehe!!!!

    Jo

  18. #18

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    Thanks for thhis thread,,, We also found going from 2- 3 tough going for a while there.. We are now trying for bub 4...

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