Personally I think the books are fine - if someone gave me a Tizzie Hall book for example (which I am not a fan of) - it wouldn't damage our friendship and I wouldn't think they were trying to push their beliefs on me - I would just think that it was something they found useful so thought I might too. If I didn't know what the alternatives were maybe I wouldn't think the gentler methods are so good - knowledge is power after all. I suppose I think how else do people come across things like gentle parenting without other people exposing them to it - and I think just giving her some books is a fine way to do it ( as long as you are not considering putting in the front : "I know you did CIO last time but think you should use these methods this time instead" - love PZ :-) )