Boys in girls' changerooms - how old is "too old"?

[Gigi]

i worry about the reverse of this. My ex has bilby each weekend, and every time she has to get dressed (pool) or go to the loo (anywhere outside home e.g shops, beach, etc), that dilemna must come up for them. He doesn't often take her to pool or beach, i suspect this is the reason why. I did buy her one of those towels you wear like a cape, to make drying her, in public, more do-able.

When bilby and i are out in public (and she needs the public loos), she is constantly saying "are you there mum"?, when i'm waiting outside her stall. Like she's scared of being left there alone. And often she has trouble, getting the paper to come out of the loo paper dispenser. She is JUST tall enough to wash her hands without help now.

[Rach75]

my boys are 5 and 2 and we use the ladies change rooms we have the luxury the fact its a samll town so rarely is anyone in there... in public we use parents rooms or female toilets unless dad is with us, I will continue to take jack into the female toliets until he is about 10 I am guessing ...

[Trillian]

Our pool says 6 years old too. I think you could get boys to at least 8 before they need to be in boys change rooms only. They are too little before that to be in there on their own I reckon

[nothing2lose]

The flip side to that is Trill, that my (then) 8 year old DD and her friends would be mortified if a "boy" that was their peer was changing in the same room as them.

We have a lax attitude to nudity in this house (although DP doesnt go nude in front of her given the stepdad thing) but she wouldnt like changing in front of boys one bit!!!

[Heaven]

Oh I've never thought about it. There's no signs at our pool. What are you supposed to do when they're 6? I would feel weird about sending my 6 yr old boy off to the mens change room. But I don't have a 6 yr old yet, I can't imagine it.

[OceanPrincess]

Our pool states those over 6 can't go into opposite sex change rooms

Ours says 7. We have a family change room but it's always very popular on Sat mornings! We never get in there!

[Astrid]

Are the showers big enough to also change in? At our local there is one extra large shower cubicle in the womens change rooms. Certainly enough room to shower and change? Just option if you feel the need.

We are pretty open about nudity at home, but do feel in a public change room that people should be conscious that others are not. I am all for just getting it all done as quick as possible

[MummyNaomi]

Our pool is 6 or 7, I cant remember now, but there is only one combined disabled/family room

Frankly, I wouldn't feel comfortable sending a 6 yo in by himself. I think their should be three changerooms these days - Male / Female / And a communal Family one (that only families can use - eg men cant go in by themselves) - rather than one family clogging it up for 15 -20 mins

[feeb]

Pool we used to go to lessons at said age 6 or under in opposite sex change rooms, there was 3 family / disabled change rooms that were redicilous to try and get. I do not see myself being comfortable sending boys at age 6 into male change room alone if DH not with us.

[PumpkinZulu]

I think 10 is way too old to be going into a female change room. Many boys are discovering sexual feelings and masturbating at that age, there's no way I'd be having a 10 year old in with naked women. N2L point is also a good one, women can be sex offenders too. It's tough, because family change rooms are at a high demand with a low supply of them around. I agree that there should be a family communal change room.

[Astrid]

I'm confused. How is a family communal change room meant to work? I don't think DH wants others seeing him naked and I don't want other fathers seeing me naked? Or is it a mothers only family room?

[nothing2lose]

I think communal change rooms have the same "problems" as bringing older children into the opposite sex change room. Back to square one!!

[nothing2lose]

Okay, another point....Just playing devil's advocate but is it right that families use the disabled toilets to change? What if a disabled person needs to use it? If you were them would you be annoyed if a family used it to change???

[LuluHB]

That's a tough one because as I said above, my DH will have to rely on disabled toilets/change rooms a lot of the time he is with the girls alone. I would feel bad if a disabled person had to wait, but at the same time I figure hey, I have to wait for a toilet sometimes too so really is there a difference? Its not like he would use the disabled toilet/change room just because he couldn't be bothered waiting for a men's one IYKWIM.

[Astrid]

Good point. At our local pool, they serve both. One is well set-up for lifting people in and out of wheelchairs, the other is not as roomy and has a baby change table. Most of the time it is families who and disabled who do use them, but I have seen the odd single person and adult couple leave them. The womens change rooms and toilets have also disabled facilities. Very thankful for how well this facility is set-up.

I think they would have every right to be annoyed. A family getting changed is not as quick as just a using the toilet. That length of time may be too long for someone who is disabled.

[feeb]

I have no issues using disabled toilets as I can't get into a normal toilet cubicle on my own with a pram and 2 kids, and sometimes there is no parents room to use.

There really needs to be more parents rooms diabled toilets and family change rooms at places where people may need to take kids to loo or change them.

[MummyNaomi]

I'm confused. How is a family communal change room meant to work? I don't think DH wants others seeing him naked and I don't want other fathers seeing me naked? Or is it a mothers only family room?

Hehehehe - I think the idea is to still have stalls in the family change room - kinda like the nice big family friendly parents rooms that some of the big shopping centres have - one big area -but with stalls/area's that are individually curtained off or something.

[PumpkinZulu]

Yeah true, because then its still discriminatory to fathers. I was thinking kids, mums, didn't think about the dads. Wow. This seems like a pretty big oversight. So make yourself or others uncomfortable or send a boy too young into a men's change room alone? I get most pools are old and can't exactly make room for more family change rooms. Pre kids this was something I never even considered an issue. What are a people supposed to do?

ETA on the disabled q. Honestly, depends on the disability. If its very severe, or mental, then no, they should not wait. But honestly, why should a little kid wait but not a disabled person? I have a friend who is disabled and she doesn't like being treated too differently from others. She is wheelchair bound and deaf, and I know she doesn't mind waiting for the loo for example, just like able bodies people have to wait generally in the main toilets. I don't know. I think small kids have less of an understanding of wait than adults.