I find it hard when it is directed at me, which has only been a couple of times in this country. In Germany, I was punched in the face when I was 16. Here I've had people call me an "F****** Jew", and I admit I lost my cool and yelled back "I'ld rather be a Jew than a f****** redneck racist". I was more disappointed in myself for responding back, and loosing my dignity. In reality most of the people who yell (or an Uni through money at my husband) are cowards who do it is passing, not standing around for the fallout because they are too scared, and I'm not going to be able to change them or their attitudes, so it's better for me to ignore them.

In regards to family who make stupid racist comments, I normally try to make astute comments that shows the folly of their idea's (repeating back the same logic applied to different circumstances), and hopefully they can reflect on that, as I find a full on assault (as much as they deserve it) normally doesn't do much. I don't really remembering hearing racists comments from friends.. maybe I've just never got close to people who have those sorts of ideals because we wouldn't click as friends. I would probably find myself dropping them as friends if they did.