how to say they are not invited

[*EJ*]

I would probably confirm with the host before i brought my children and/or DH along to a party of a friend like you describe (being a uni friend that does not necessarily know my family very well). But if i got a flat out 'NO they are not invited' i would be quite offended. In all honesty my DH would probably prefer to stay home anyway and in this case we may negotiate who looks after which child/ren to give eachother some kind of break and personally i think that is our right as parents. If you want my presence, you know i'm a mother, i may have to bring a child along.

I completely understand where you are coming from and in this instance i guess you need to figure out how important the friendship is too you because chances are it could offend your friend.

I was invited somewhere where the request had been no children. This was fine with me, i had a 10month old who i was still breatfeeding at the time but it was clearly stated so he was never coming. The day before the occasion i received a text message as a reminder (not worded all that tactfully) that children were not invited, it did not go down well with me as i was already well aware of the request but to arrive and to have other babies my sons age present i was extremely offended (especially since my son was a nephew). It may not relate all that well to your expample but i was deeply offended by the situation and what your saying just brings back memories of that.

Good luck though and i hope your DD has a wonderful birthday. We're planning one right now also

[hj1981]

I would probably confirm with the host before i brought my children and/or DH along to a party of a friend like you describe (being a uni friend that does not necessarily know my family very well). But if i got a flat out 'NO they are not invited' i would be quite offended. In all honesty my DH would probably prefer to stay home anyway and in this case we may negotiate who looks after which child/ren to give eachother some kind of break and personally i think that is our right as parents. If you want my presence, you know i'm a mother, i may have to bring a child along.

I completely understand where you are coming from and in this instance i guess you need to figure out how important the friendship is too you because chances are it could offend your friend.

I was invited somewhere where the request had been no children. This was fine with me, i had a 10month old who i was still breatfeeding at the time but it was clearly stated so he was never coming. The day before the occasion i received a text message as a reminder (not worded all that tactfully) that children were not invited, it did not go down well with me as i was already well aware of the request but to arrive and to have other babies my sons age present i was extremely offended (especially since my son was a nephew). It may not relate all that well to your expample but i was deeply offended by the situation and what your saying just brings back memories of that.

Good luck though and i hope your DD has a wonderful birthday. We're planning one right now also

Thank you EJ! FINALLY someone see's where i am coming from!



My whole issue is the ASSUMING and NOT CLARIFYING

I have NO INTENTIONS WHAT SO EVER of turning around and saying NO THEY CAN NOT COME! like you all said it's not worth the arguments or the loss of friendship!

[hj1981]

and wow on all those that would end a friendship over something like that!

If my children were not invited to something, no worries i would not have a problem with it, it is everyones perogative on who they invite and don't invite! i wouldn't take offence in any way!

at the end of the day it is my DD's birthday and i want her to have a good day and a good day she will have

[Maruschke]

and wow on all those that would end a friendship over something like that!

If my children were not invited to something, no worries i would not have a problem with it, it is everyones perogative on who they invite and don't invite! i wouldn't take offence in any way!

at the end of the day it is my DD's birthday and i want her to have a good day and a good day she will have

That isn't what would end the friendship. What would end the friendship is you explaining that you didn't want my husband there because you don't like him, or my children because they are wild.

Sorry but I think the wording of the thread made it seem like you were looking for how to tell this woman not to bring her kids and husband, and that's why you got the reaction you did.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

I havent read all the replies but an answer to the original question...

I wouldnt just assume my kids and DF were invited. Especially knowing the circumstance (your children have never met and they are somewhat older than the birthday girl). If I am invited somewhere and their names arnt on it, I would ask what they would like. After all, its their party, not mine.