I would probably confirm with the host before i brought my children and/or DH along to a party of a friend like you describe (being a uni friend that does not necessarily know my family very well). But if i got a flat out 'NO they are not invited' i would be quite offended. In all honesty my DH would probably prefer to stay home anyway and in this case we may negotiate who looks after which child/ren to give eachother some kind of break and personally i think that is our right as parents. If you want my presence, you know i'm a mother, i may have to bring a child along.

I completely understand where you are coming from and in this instance i guess you need to figure out how important the friendship is too you because chances are it could offend your friend.

I was invited somewhere where the request had been no children. This was fine with me, i had a 10month old who i was still breatfeeding at the time but it was clearly stated so he was never coming. The day before the occasion i received a text message as a reminder (not worded all that tactfully) that children were not invited, it did not go down well with me as i was already well aware of the request but to arrive and to have other babies my sons age present i was extremely offended (especially since my son was a nephew). It may not relate all that well to your expample but i was deeply offended by the situation and what your saying just brings back memories of that.

Good luck though and i hope your DD has a wonderful birthday. We're planning one right now also
Thank you EJ! FINALLY someone see's where i am coming from!



My whole issue is the ASSUMING and NOT CLARIFYING

I have NO INTENTIONS WHAT SO EVER of turning around and saying NO THEY CAN NOT COME! like you all said it's not worth the arguments or the loss of friendship!