I would definately assume that my family were part of the invite for a child's party, UNLESS it was one of the kids school friends. To me a family affair is just that, family and no friends. If there are playgroup people or friends with kids then I would be really annoyed to find out my family wasnt invited. To be brutally honest, she cannot be that important of a person to you if a) you havent met her family and b) you dont like her family and c) if your this upset about her bringing her family.

Why did you not just organise maybe a lunch or coffee for these women to celebrate their role in your DD's birth? Or invite them over to your house?

We've never made a big deal about first birthdays really because theyre more for the parent than the child. The only kid who had a party was Ds1. And even then it wasnt anything special and more to do with us finally having a child after TTC for a long time, kind of like a YAY we did it, he's 1 and we're happy party. I just dont get all the hype about it