The invitation says "No Gifts"

[LimeSlice]

I often buy gifts for people despite a "no gifts" on an invite etc.

I like doing it, I want to do it. The no gifts is realistically because you ARE paying for your own meals she doesn't want anyone to feel obliged. Fair enough. If you can't/won't/don't want to get anything, then don't.

If you do, do. But I would give it privately, not make a big deal over it and make it personal.

Hope she has an awesome birthday!

[Traveller]

At my recent birthday party I requested "no gifts" and a donation to charity instead. Many people brought gifts and did not donate to the charity I had requested. TBH I was really hurt. I hate gifts of obligation, and yet people would rather spend their money on something I didn't want or need than follow my wishes. So I agree with your friend, if the invitation says "no gifts" then that is what you should do.

[misty]

What Limeslice said.

No gifts, means 'no gifts'. It doesn't mean you cann't give one if you want to, but it does mean there is no obligation for anyone to get one; and if you do, youu should probably do so privately.

[Jas]

I agree with Limeslice, in cases like what Traveller is saying I agree a gift is rude but in the case you are talking about I think a gift is fine, but also I wouldnt think it at all rude not to take a gift

[LimeSlice]

Ah Trav, see that is a bit different.
If there was a request for charitable donations instead, I would probably do both, but certainly wouldn't give you a gift and not donate. Having said that, I wouldn't donate to a charity I didn't believe in myself, despite of a request to.

[Junglemum]

If it says no gifts, i will still give a gift. BUT if it requested money to be donated to charity instead then i would definitely do that. But i wouldn't do nothing.

On the other end of that. We requested to wedding gifts at our wedding. Many people bought one, some didn't, and i wasn't fussed at all. I said to gifts and i meant it so was absolutely fine with people no bringing a gift.

So i think both responses are totally acceptable.

[Taurean]

I often buy gifts for people despite a "no gifts" on an invite etc.

I like doing it, I want to do it. The no gifts is realistically because you ARE paying for your own meals she doesn't want anyone to feel obliged. Fair enough. If you can't/won't/don't want to get anything, then don't.

If you do, do. But I would give it privately, not make a big deal over it and make it personal.

Hope she has an awesome birthday!

:yeahthat: I'd also be even more inclined to take a gift as it's a milestone birthday but it was also depend on my relationship with the birthday person - a really close friend or just a friend IYKWIM