* if your child is playing with a toy, and other toys are available, would you encourage your child to let the other kid play with the toy? or should the other child leave yours alone, and find something else themself? does it depend on whose house you are at?
Doesn't bother me where we are - i will try and encourage all kidlets to share. If one child has a toy for ages, and another really wants to play with it, i'll talk to them. i'll offer an alternative, see if they can share. if someone takes something off another, i'll make them give it back - i don't believe in snatching etc. i think it's all about talking to them and treating them like little adults.

* if your colleague forgets their lunch, would you offer to share yours? or offer to loan them some money?
i do this all the time! we have something of a communal lunch thing happening most days. there is a stash of food that we all put into and can all take out of. i have loaned money before, with no expectation of it being returned, but my friends are a bit like me - they give it back - so we just have a change stash as well

* if a friend is in financial difficulty, so you offer help? what kind of help?
it depends on the type of financial difficulty. we don't have a lot of money spare (hell, we have nothing) each week, so i can't afford to give money away for long periods of time - but if i get paid tomorrow and someone needs something til they get paid next week, then i'll help out in a heartbeat. i actually had a bit of a "payday loan" thing happening for a while with a friend. it was only small amounts, but it meant she had the help and i had money the following week that i didn't have to remember to save. i will always offer a meal or cuppa to anyone. we have a very open house for things like that

* what about family?
some yes, some hell no! i've been burnt BIG TIME by members of my family. i did the "right" thing and paid for work to be done in advance - it never got done, and we had to fight damn hard to get the money back (and it took five years) - so i'm really not keen on helping that family out financially. we've also bent over backwards to help them with moving and stuff, and when we moved, they didn't even offer - so nope

* how well would you need to know someone on bellybelly for you to be willing to offer assistance?
i have helped BB peeps i barely know (with advice) - others i've helped with little things. some i've never met i deem to be close friends and would do almost anything for them. i have travelled interstate on holidays for the express purpose of meeting bb peeps. i've had people stay here, and have done pretty much all that is within my power to help them out

* do you give to people begging? buy the big issue? donate to charities?
i donate to charities regularly. have never come across anyone begging, but i'd be more likely to give them coffee or food than money (if i could afford it at the time).
we have essentially donated a house full of furniture to local charities in the past few years. there are three boxes of linen waiting to go now too.

* if you see a complete stranger in trouble (falling over on the street, fainting on the train, throwing up at the shops, whatever) do you help? do you call for help but not intervene personally?
i'll help if someone has fallen over - even if it's just to OFFER - some people are too proud to accept help. i'll also help if someone has a kidlet start to take off (it's amazing what stepping in the general path of a runaway will do to halt their progress and give mum time to catch up!).

* do you share/help out when you know it's not likely to be reciprocated (whether a repeat offender friend/relative, or someone you know isn't in a position to help out in return)?
repeat offender (constantly taking, no paying it forward or returning the help) - i tend to end up seeing them as a taker, and i just can't bring myself to do it any more for them. someone not in a position to return the favour is a whole different kettle of fish though! i don't help people with the expectation i get the same in return. appreciation of my effort, and one day doing something that IS in their abilities - even if it's paying it forward - i'm happy with that.

* how personal does your sharing get? do/would you donate blood? plasma? bone marrow? a kidney? breastmilk? eggs? would you be a surrogate for someone? with these things, would you do it for an immediate family member? friend? acquaintence? stranger?
i would donate blood etc if i was in a position to do it. unfortunately, i'm not. BM - in a heartbeat if someone needed it for their child.
given our assisted conception journey, i don't think egg donation or surrogacy would ever be an option - but if we'd been through IVF, finished our family, and had embryos in the freezer, we would have looked at donating them

* do you give away goods that you would be happy to keep, because you think someone else needs/would appreciate them more?
yes - quite often. as mentioned before, we gave away pretty much a (large) houseful of furniture after moving in together. we could have sold it at garage sale or ebay etc, but donated it to a local charity that helps women escaping DV situations

* what do you expect of others? do those expectations change based on anything (wealth, time available, upbringing, etc?)
all i ask is for the effort to be recognised, and when they can, the people we have helped turn around and help (either us, or someone else) to whatever degree they can. i don't expect a single mum to be able to chip in and help someone to the same degree DH and I help between us - but i would hope she puts in whatever effort she can, at some point, to help someone

* how do you decide when to offer advice etc, and when to keep your thoughts to yourself?
sometimes you just know it's not welcome, sometimes people ask directly, and sometimes you hedge your bets! i always offer advice with a "this is what worked for us, maybe it will work for you, but ignore it if it won't" kind of attitude

* when you share in different ways, do you do it because you feel you should, or because you enjoy it, or because you think we all should, or other reasons?
i suffer depression. i find helping others takes me out of the negative head space that goes with the depression - so in some ways, it's selfish of me to offer to help! but it is mutually beneficial. i don't help out of any sense of obligation
i think, if we have the ability to help someone in need, then maybe we should. we all live in such "isolation" now - where we're too afraid to ask for help, and too afraid to offer in case we step on toes. we live side by side, but mostly we don't "impinge" on anyone near us. i think it's important to encourage the idea of community/village. it doesn't take much to offer help, it's really not a big imposition to help and realise you've made a difference to someone. it is really damn hard to ask for help though, especially if you've been shot down (see the family comment!), so i think people need to make the offer more. you won't always be taken up on it, but knowing that someone cares enough to offer is a huge help

* do you find sharing and generosity hard to talk about in general?
i don't like people to make a big deal of any help i give. it's nice to be appreciated, but i don't do anything for the kudos. i do it because it's within my ability, and it helps them out. i find i get embarrassed very easily if someone makes a big deal of an effort that has been made. i can talk in general terms about things, but when specific efforts are highlighted, it can make the person that has made the effort really uncomfortable. or maybe that's just me.

* what do you think the main influences on your views about all this to be? upbringing? spiritual beliefs and value system? your partner's views? what you want for your children?
i think a big part of the way i feel is that i was brought up in an environment of "if you CAN help, you DO". DH is very much the same. far too many people now just aren't like that - and we want our DD to be raised to value community/village, and to step outside herself to help others where she can.