How would you feel if he said to you 'I don't like your friend xyz, she isn't allowed here anymore'? It's pretty controlling IMO.
i honestly don't think it's controlling at all - it's about respect for each other. if your DH/DP really feels uncomfortable with someone, why can't they state they don't want them in the house anymore?? i think respect for your partner and their comfort in their own house has to trump your desire to have a friend or family member visit. there are so many places you can meet people away from the house if you need to see them - why make the person you want to spend your life with so uncomfortable??

Westy, I was commenting just to clarify that it wasn't an easy decision for me to ban people from our house either - we have a VERY open house policy - we never turn people away, it's just not who we are - so for us to ban someone entirely, it was for very good reason. It sucked going through it, but it's helped us both to realise how strong our relationship is, to see who our real friends are (the ones that stayed the hell out of family issues instead of getting themselves involved when the other side was rallying people against us), and to dig deep and find our strength as individuals. we survived, and can actually laugh at their pettiness now so meh, all good!