I had a similar problem with my ear piercings, Gigi - the first ones I got pierced as a baby healed up with no problems whatsoever, then I got second and third holes pierced in my earlobes in my teen years and they never 'settled' properly, and developed cysts - in my late teens I had 3 cysts removed from the piercing sites and to this day I have a cyst in the third hole in my right earlobe that flares up every few months and starts oozing and gets inflamed and very painful

DD1 had just started daycare when she got her ears pierced and luckily she's never had an issue with them being pulled or fiddled with by other kids - I'll admit I'd never even thought of it! We might just be lucky

I personally have always only ever used Studex brand earrings for DD1 and myself, they're allergen-free (some earrings contain metals that react badly with some people's skin and can cause irritation and infection) and the stud styles have notched posts so the butterfly backs 'snap' into place and are practically impossible to get off. DD1 has only lost one earring yet and it was when she yanked a tight shirt over her head and got the earring caught in the collar I'd never use any other brand on small kids personally, just because the backs coming off is a concern for me, as well as the irritation risk (I can't wear earrings from jewellers because they hurt after a couple of hours).

Totally understand your feelings and each to their own - you raised some very good points and just thought I'd offer my own perspective on those for the benefit of others who are considering getting their little ones' ears pierced