I know where you're coming from. When we first TTC I gave up alcohol and coffee soooo easily, just did it, it was exciting to be starting to try for a baby and I followed all the rules.

Of course I followed through with that during IVF, but we haven't done a cycle since October 2008 and I thought to hell with it. I'm on a break, I'm going to enjoy myself. Of course I did at the back of my mind think well what about still trying naturally and hoping for a miracle - am I sabotaging it but I have found it so hard to give up. Buying a mocha a day, I think a lot of it came down to habit - buying one on the way to work. and then drinking coffee at work to break the boredom of sitting at my desk.

I've been thinking for a while I really need to just do it. Also I'm having my gallbladder out shortly and I know I have to watch my diet from then, so I figured it's a perfect time to make changes. So a couple of weeks ago I thought that's it. I just have to go cold turkey, not one a day, totally cut it out. So for the last two weeks, I've only slipped up twice. I really do want to stop altogether (not just for the IVF, but my sleep patterns are horrendous and I go through the highs and lows during the day and thinking I need a coffee for a perk up). I'm at the point of starting to get my body healthy again and in readiness to try IVF later in the year or next year. I want to be as healthy (physically and mentally) as possible.

But it is sooo hard. And I know what you mean about rebelling. When you've had a few disappointments, you sometimes think well what's one cup of coffee going to do, my odds are already crap. But I think when it comes to doing my next lot of IVF (which will be our last couple of tries), I don't want to have any thoughts of "if only I didn't do this, or if only I didn't drink coffee". I totally understand, but as babydreamtime, I've been telling myself - it's not forever, one day I will have coffee again! haha, or maybe I'll feel so much for not having it I won't.

Maybe try to start slowly. Have a coffee every 2nd day. Some people say have decaf, but I've heard bad things about decaf and that's why I'm trying to give up the hot drinks. It would be easier if I liked herbal teas, which I don't.