pregnancy announcements

[worrywart]

*** Warning: Other people's pregnancies mentioned!

Hi there everyone,

I think Jan 2010 marks my graduation to this forum, since I've been having AC (starting with Clomid) for just over 12 months now! Woo hoo! I've had 3 failed IUIs, and 1 failed IVF with no embryos leftover and now it seems I have an endometrioma on ovary. Anyway, I know that people here are veterans, and perhaps these details aren't helpful.

I'm wondering how people are coping with their fertile friends' pregnancy announcements. I had two really close friends announce recently, one who skipped a pill or two and got pregnant (and she and her partner were really irritated bc they had to call off their trip to South America and go to Europe instead!), and another who tried once, and got pregnant that month. This friend decided she had to tell me face to face, just minutes before I had an appointment (actually, my first ever pilates class (welcome to the 21st century eh needless to say, I didn't do the breathing right). Other friends have conceived 3 children (2 born) within the time we've been trying for 1. I know this sounds like some dumb "keep up with the Jones" thing. Why does it hurt so much? Why am I just enraged and not even slightly happy for them anymore? Why do I suddenly feel like I want to give up and not have a child at all?

My background is in depression, in case you were wondering. Are there any other currently or previously depressed ladies who've managed to keep on keeping on? Any tips on handling these bitter feelings?

Best wishes to all,
WW

[Possums]

What you are feeling is normal, and something I think we have all faced at different times. I struggle with other friends pregnancy announcements, and while I am glad for them, it hurts me...and I feel jealous etc. Big hugs to you
Just try and distance yourself if you need to, protect yourself...try and focus on things which bring you joy, even little things..it helps. I know how hard it is

[JBM]

just thought i'd send you a BIG HUG. xo

[stargazer]

Hi WW,
Sending a hug out to you - it is a rough milestone you have reached. Some things get easier with time, some dont, but we are all different in how we cope so dont feel bad for not sharing your friends feelings when they make their announcements. I get down at times too - i think its inevitable really after all we have to endure in a very child-focused society. I have a stressful job, work long hours, have a large extended family, etc - all those things that dont help but i think its important to find things that you enjoy and set time aside each day or on the weekends for those. Maybe look into meditation or some other forms of relaxation & exercise - when you can fit it in - really helps clear your mind - especially if you are outdoors in a park, by the beach etc.
I am happy for friends/family when they say they are pregnant, i guess as i can separate my experiences from most other ppls reality. i suppose a little part of me feels deflated, but i try not to show it. i have had a lot of practise you could say - many friends are onto second/ third children now and since we have been on treatment nine nieces/nephews have been born in our families with another due in a few weeks.
Yep - it is very strange to be infertile & be landed smack bang in the middle of two very fertile families, but maybe this is what has desinsitised me...
Anyways, just try to work on you-time every day as a priority, and make time to talk to friends with whom you feel comfortable - just chatting & being able to vent a bit should give you a boost.
Best of luck!!