Hi all
this is my first post here. I have to say I never thought I'd be here, and be in this position!
I have just turned 41, and my partner is 42. After several months of trying, no luck--but then he'd had a negative semen count some years before, so knowing this, coupled with my age, we didn't wait too long to get onto to it right away and have things looked at. Because in the last 6 months I've been experiencing severe PMS and heavy bleeding and spotting, I had a laproscopy for suspected endo/fibroids/pcos/what have you.Nothing, all clear. Dye studies showed my tubes in fine condition. For a 41 year old pelvis, things look good. No reason for no pregnancy on my side. Meanwhile, my partner had another semen analysis, and it was not a very good result at all, giving us almost no hope of ever conceiving naturally. That, plus my age. So we went to Monash for initial visit, and I have to say it was a terrible experience. I felt like we were in a car show room and being pushed to buy an Audi. The pressure to start, and start now, was enormous. Meanwhile we were slugged consultation costs we had not been aware were coming. Yes I know we can't afford to wait--yes I know the statistics for a woman of my age, even without assisted conception. Yes I know about the increased risks of Down's, etc etc etc. But I felt like we were being given a sales pitch and coralled from one department and expert to the next before we "sign on the dotted line". We were told we had a 20% chance using ICSI. From my research, a woman of my age has much less than 20% chance. And I had all these questions about drugs and what they did, but was fobbed off and told, "the counsellor will answer that". You get counseling after you've comitted to go ahead. I want to know more before. Anyway, I walked out of there feeling overwhelmed. My partner agreed with my feelings. We'd done a fair bit of research beforehand I thought I was prepared, but not explaining things or the costs was very poor form, I felt. Anyway, I'm now undecided what to do and depressed about it. On the one hand, ART is the only way we can reasonably expect a pregnancy, and considering my age, we would have to start now. (Yes, I knew that before we even went in there, that's why we were there). But my dilemma is, should I give this a go, despite the grim statistics, both for ART and then the risks of Down's, etc, or should I save myself the disappointment and not go ahead at all? I admit I am scared of the drugs and the operations. I am worried that if I already get severe PMS symptoms, for which no cause can be found, will the hormones just make that worse? I can find no info on the net about it.I know that in the end this is my decision and noone can make it for me, but I notice most people doing ART are younger than me, and I feel alone in this. On the plus side, I am not working so am available to go to the clinic for all the shots and monitoring and whatever else they do. I know this decision is mine alone to make, so I guess I'm looking for input and perhaps other things I've not considered. I suppose I'm looking for a reason to say yes I'll try it rather than no, which feels a bit defeatist. How bad are the drugs?
thanks for reading,
BakingGirl