BW,

like you, for my first few cycles I felt very much like I was propelled along by my nurses and my Dr, not given any more information than I absolutely needed to get to the next stage. I was told what my levels were but not what they meant, and I felt very out of control, but felt like it was all too much for me to learn and I was best leaving it all to the experts.

It was during the TWW in my second cycle that I found BB, and it was because I was feeling like after my transfer, I was being left to just 'drift' until my BT that I decided that I needed to try to find out as much as I could. I actually joined about 6 different forums that day, some from as far as the US and UK. BB had the smallest IVF community back then of all the forums, but in the long run were the most supportive to me.

As I went along through my cycles, I began to read avidly what everyone else was going through. If someone mentioned something (like PGD) I'd google madly trying to find out what it meant and whether it would possibly be something that could help me. This became more obsessive as I racked up more failed cycles, but even my Dr could see that I was getting more informed. I started suggesting things to him, asking whether we could try this or that. I started taking down everything, all my levels, and what CD I was on etc. Pretty soon, even the nurses knew that I understood what they were telling me and that they couldn't fob off my questions.

So the first bit of advice I have for you if you want to be in more control of your cycles is to ask questions, and make notes on everything. Even at work, I would discreetly say 'And can you please tell me what the levels were?' if it wasn't offered. If I disagreed with something (eg my 7th cycle, my frozen embryos were supposed to be taken to blast after thaw, but didn't seem to be progressing, and I wanted to transfer them early) I didn't even bother talking to the nurses, I called my FSs office and expected him to either talk to me or call me back, and to follow the course of action I wanted to take. Don't be afraid to get them to explain why they're doing anything and why you can't have it a different way. And if the nurses treat you like you don't know what you're doing, don't take it personally, but don't let them bully you into hanging up without your answers either.

If you like BW, feel free to PM me. I do believe in women knowing what treatment they're undergoing, and I hate that so many medicos make us feel like we're too stupid to understand what they're doing. It's your body, and you feel the need to know what's happening with it, it's your right. Don't forget that.