The inevitable happened to me this week, after 12 months TTC, my sister got a BFP. Of course I am overjoyed that she will not have to endure the heartache of LTTTC. I intend to keep from her that DH and I are greatly emotionally effected by the news. This will be her pregnancy and I want her to enjoy every inch of it.

As I am sure we all know, it is difficult to explain how LTTTC effects you and whilst you never wish it upon anyone, its also comforting to have someone who can you can talk to that has total understanding. I have pretty well insulated myself from sharing my troubles with too many friends, my sister was one of few who is aware of our situation.

With this recent news, I feel not only have I lost a (another) friend who I can confide in about my TTC issues, but I will also have to walk, step by step through her pregnancy with her. I do not know how I can do this. I cannot stop crying. I think God might hate me, my world is surrounded by pregnancy and children at every step.