K1
Your post has me in tears...and has brought back alot of memories for me...I know how hard it is, and you just cant begin to describe that feeling, esp to people who havent been there. I felt this for 7 years, and was eventually blessed with my DS thru IVF. I will never forget that feeling tho, of a huge piece missing in your heart. I dont think god is punishing you hun, I just think he has a special time allocated for you to concieve your little miracle.
I got thru this tough period (as hard as it is) thinking positive, and that one day my turn will come.And it did... Never give up hope.

I also feel that your sisters lil baby will fill a little of that emptiness when it comes along. It did for me