I know you've had responses that are saying the same thing as me, but just reading your post made me well up I totally agree with juniper, I reckon it's a combination of where the hormones are, what stage of a cycle you're at etc.
It's a terrible admission but I find it easier to be happier for those who have had IVF or issues themselves. I believe all my friends should be blessed with the children they desire, but bloody hell don't we all ask, 'when's it [B]my[B]turn??!!
I've actually barely seen one friend who's pregnant for about 3 months partly because when she can I'm not 'in the right place' and make excuses, and when I am, she's too tired.
We're all in that age group where we're surrounded by it though, so it's hard to get away from it. While we were in our last 2ww our friends announced they're having twins, which we both dealt with because where we were in the cycle and we still had hope.
After, I just told DH well now I'm the only one of my friends who doesn't have kids, so at least I don't have to take anyone else's feelings into consideration when we have our good news
Hang in there, it can be quite lonely at times I've found, and I've really noticed because I love company, but this year I've become more of a hermit
I agree with the other ladies - some times it's harder than other times. I spent some time with a colleague and her baby last week and hardly flinched. Another time, right after my early m/c, I had to go to a christening, and found heart sitting in my mouth all day.
I reckon it's okay to say no to events that upset you. If people are not understanding about your absence, perhaps they're not the friends you need right now. One of my colleagues invited me to go baby gift shopping but was completely understanding when I said no. I might feel a bit bad about not going, but it's about protecting myself from further emotional pain.
A friend of my DH recently lost her adult brother. Apparently she's spent a lot of time being angry with other people who have a brother - it's her grief manifesting itself. It might not make much sense to people who have never lost a brother, but it's still something that she has to deal with. If spending time with other men the same age as her brother causes her too much pain, she removes herself from the situation, even if other people think she's rude. It's about protecting herself from further pain.
Anyway, infertility has made me into a person I sometimes don't like, and I'm very different from the person I was before TTC. But I am who I am, and I have to do what is best for me, even if that causes other people annoyance or upset.
I hope you're doing okay. I've been lucky recently because I don't know anyone who is pregnant...except all my family law clients
I feel the same way - and I think that I am losing some of my closest, dearest friends because of it... I cannot BARE to be around one of my best friends, who got married... concieved a honeymoon baby - had her baby - and her baby is now one, and she's pregnant again! EASY! I have made every excuse under the sun not to see her... I can't deal - she's like, 7 months pregnant and I haven't seen her ONCE in the 7 months...
As for family gigs... I went to Father's Day lunch knowing my husband's cousin's 1 month old would be there... I went there, all positive - even brought a gift... but as soon as they arrived, and I saw the baby being passed around - and the baby being bounced, and loved... it cut me up!!! I just couldn't deal.
And... I'm not even using hormones yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I totally agree with juniper, I reckon it's a combination of where the hormones are, what stage of a cycle you're at etc.
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