thread: DH has had enough! Anyone else???

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Brissy
    1,292

    well i sort of know how yu feel. my dh had a vas now his swimmers are trapped, so only way of getting preg is thru a big needle and IVF/ ICSI.
    after our first IVF, going thru the needles and everything else for me, we had 11 eggs, 7 fertilised an all a BFN, thru fresh and frozen tfers.

    i was so emotional after every BFN that when we used up our last frosty he said NO more.
    i was devestated.
    i cried so much.

    anyway he finally caved and said one more time but we're having a big break for 7 months, so oct this year for next cycle.


    good luck and he might come around. wishing you the best.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    349

    My DH has said it but it's so very disappointing all these BFN's and men grieve & stress in different ways than women

    hugs to you
    I'm sure he'll come round

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    May 2005
    in the national capital
    1,682



    I cna understand how you feel Bec. DH said this once to me too. It was a few years ago now and while I didn't realise it at the time he did have his reasons and in hindsight most of them were valid and he did come around to my way of thinking again later - after an agreed break.

    I think that what you need to do is sit down with him (without the kids around etc) and discuss why he is feeling like this. You will probably find that he isn't trying to be cruel or mean - he just probably isn't very good at expressing himself.

    My DH did it because I had turned into a psycho TTCing woman and he didn't even recognise me and figured that the only way to change was to "refuse his services" so to speak. I wanted to scratch his eyes out at the time but now realise that he was right and I wasn't in a good place for the journey that we were travelling.

    I wish you luck. But I think that what you really need to do is chat with him, and maybe have some counselling either together or seperately to work out what you both really want.

  4. #4

    Oct 2008
    2,880

    I just wanted to say that I am sorry you are going through this. The journey is hard enough without having these sort of other things going on.

    Huge hugs
    Sue xxx

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    Sydney
    53

    Thanks ladies, i am still not speaking to him as it just hurts so much right now,i cant even look at him at the moment.

    I think i will take some of your advice though and talk with him when i calm down and try to understand where this has come from!!!!!

    I know it can be hard on couples going through LTTC but i see so many other DHs support their partners,why cant mine????

    Thanks again

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2005
    Limestone Coast, SA
    2,671

    I am sorry this is happening to you, sometimes men can be very immature and selfish, they dont realise that the end result is so worth it. My psych said that an attitude such as your DH's just shows that he is immature in his thinking and selfish.

    I have left my DH because of similar reasons, he refuses to ever have another baby, mainly cause TTC is too stressful.

    I hope you can sort things through with DH and convince him TTC is worth pursueing x

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    Sydney
    53

    and the saga continues......

    Thanks again all, it s now 6 days since our fight and nothing has changed. Im about to OV any day soon AND im on Clomid,how crap is that,i put myself thru all the hard stuff and he now decides NO MORE!

    I really hate him right now......