DH has had enough! Anyone else???

[beckie73]

Hi Girls

I am just curious if anyones elses DH has gotten to a point where they have said enough is enough?

My Dh has today said thats it,no more ttc,no more babies,no more Drs or tests,NOTHING! I am shattered....

He has done this a few times over the past year but htis time he sounds like this is it and i dont know what to do,i am seriuosly considering leaving him as i cant live like this???? He is being downright mean and cruel,i just didnt see it coming!

I am just a mess,i dont know what to do ro who to turn to,i am suppose to be seeing my FS onThurs as i am on Clomid and was going to have the trigger injection but DH has told me to not waste my time,WOW,who is this man i married......

Any advice or stories right now would really help,i really hate him right now and dont know if i can ever give myself to him again,trust that is......

[JBM]

well i sort of know how yu feel. my dh had a vas now his swimmers are trapped, so only way of getting preg is thru a big needle and IVF/ ICSI.
after our first IVF, going thru the needles and everything else for me, we had 11 eggs, 7 fertilised an all a BFN, thru fresh and frozen tfers.

i was so emotional after every BFN that when we used up our last frosty he said NO more.
i was devestated.
i cried so much.

anyway he finally caved and said one more time but we're having a big break for 7 months, so oct this year for next cycle.


good luck and he might come around. wishing you the best.

[nanananny]

My DH has said it but it's so very disappointing all these BFN's and men grieve & stress in different ways than women

hugs to you
I'm sure he'll come round

[Muppity]

I cna understand how you feel Bec. DH said this once to me too. It was a few years ago now and while I didn't realise it at the time he did have his reasons and in hindsight most of them were valid and he did come around to my way of thinking again later - after an agreed break.

I think that what you need to do is sit down with him (without the kids around etc) and discuss why he is feeling like this. You will probably find that he isn't trying to be cruel or mean - he just probably isn't very good at expressing himself.

My DH did it because I had turned into a psycho TTCing woman and he didn't even recognise me and figured that the only way to change was to "refuse his services" so to speak. I wanted to scratch his eyes out at the time but now realise that he was right and I wasn't in a good place for the journey that we were travelling.

I wish you luck. But I think that what you really need to do is chat with him, and maybe have some counselling either together or seperately to work out what you both really want.

[MummaSue]

I just wanted to say that I am sorry you are going through this. The journey is hard enough without having these sort of other things going on.

Huge hugs
Sue xxx

[beckie73]

Thanks ladies, i am still not speaking to him as it just hurts so much right now,i cant even look at him at the moment.

I think i will take some of your advice though and talk with him when i calm down and try to understand where this has come from!!!!!

I know it can be hard on couples going through LTTC but i see so many other DHs support their partners,why cant mine????

Thanks again

[widdly]

I am sorry this is happening to you, sometimes men can be very immature and selfish, they dont realise that the end result is so worth it. My psych said that an attitude such as your DH's just shows that he is immature in his thinking and selfish.

I have left my DH because of similar reasons, he refuses to ever have another baby, mainly cause TTC is too stressful.

I hope you can sort things through with DH and convince him TTC is worth pursueing x

[beckie73]

Thanks again all, it s now 6 days since our fight and nothing has changed. Im about to OV any day soon AND im on Clomid,how crap is that,i put myself thru all the hard stuff and he now decides NO MORE!

I really hate him right now......

[nanananny]

Oh beckie

As if we don't go through enough

[Dutchie80]

beckie- I'm so sorry this is happening to you, it must be so hard atm.
Maybe this is just his way of coping with this atm and perhaps, given a little more time, he might come round.
I really hope you are able to work things out together

[CeCe]

My DH was at the stage of saying no more last Nov/December. I truly believe that I went through a mourning period as I wasn't ready to give up. He's come around again. His objections were my obsession, the fact we kept getting BFNs and the FS wasn't interested in trying different things and the emotional pain I went through with each BFNs.

I think we've found a better balance and have started living life again and enjoying each other, we've opened communication and we've changed FS who is really great and we'll be trying a new type of cycle soon.

I understand your resentment to your DH. I felt that last year and I was angry at him for making things harder than what I thought they needed to be. Now I'm glad he stood his ground as things feel so much more positive in our lives and with our TTC.

to you. I hope given a litle time he explains his stance and it's one you can both move forward from.