Friends and Family Supporting LTTTCers

[briggsy's girl]

please don't think i was saying you can't let it out - having been on both sides of the fence i so get that! it's damn hard to be excited or frustrated about something in your own life and have to walk on eggshells and not share it. i guess at some point you need to work out whether you are going to get the support you need from those members of your family, or whether you need to get that from other mothers and stuff. unfortunately, some families (whether going through ltttc or not) just aren't the support you need (which i know sucks big time) and you find that support on communities like BB, through mothers groups etc... it's hard when it comes to that, and i know that ltttc can impact on relationships, but at the same time, it's not always from ltttc - some people just don't have the capacity to be supportive!

[Reborn]

Tegam it sounds like your doing all you can. I agree it's not right you have to walk on egg shells. You should be allowed to tell everyone about how your children are developing. I know its hard for LTTTC but when they eventually do get pg, they would yell it to the world. Every mother has the right to brag. You sil should just be happy for you. It's not ALL about HER struggle. I know I'm sounding heartless again but as far I'm concerned everyone needs to make allowances for everyone. Its a 2 way street.

I can tell you now it hurts me that my sister is having troubles but at the same time I know she would be upset if she missed any achievment my ds made. She'd feel excluded.

Sometimes you cant win Hang in there

[alioops]

*pg and children mentioned*

My sis was on the cusp of being classed as LTTTC when she fell pg with my beautiful niece. Seeing her struggle month after month with bfns and then having to tell her that we were having a surprise baby (I later found out that AF had just arrived too) tore me up. It was then that I decided that I wanted to do whatever I could to help someone else realise their dreams. After I have finished BFing this baby I plan to donate my eggs.

I do like to support the LTTTC girls on here, and many of them know that I plan on being an ED. I try hard to be supportive without rubbing salt into the wounds, and I hope beyond all hope that I am succeeding in that. I trust that the LTTTC girls will let me know if I have overstepped the mark, and I am very aware of the feelings they feel when they get another bfn, but not having been there I haven't felt them to the same degree. I also stuggle when I am talking to them while they are pg, because I worry that I may say something that still pushes the wrong buttons (and I hope that they know that I am never upset by them saying something about what they went through to get to that stage )

I must say I was more excited for BG getting her sticky bfp than I was with my own bfp a few weeks after!! And I was jumping around the house when BW got hers!! So each and every LTTTCer that I notice a bfp for has a party going on at my house too!!

[Tegam]

Pregnancy warning.....

Alioops and Waiting: thank you. I just needed to know i am not allown. You said so much of what i feel Waiting! Im feeling better already.


You are very right about the "when its there turn they shout it to the world".....My sis has never been happy when i have told her i am UTD, and when she told me i cried (with relief - but she doesnt have to ever know that)....... The first time was because i was due 6 weeks after her wedding (she then dumped me as bridesmaid - was a very hard wedding to attend let me tell you) but maybe thats what you mean BG: that some people arent just that supportive type even when its not about TTC>>>>


I have been feeling guilty all just for just writting in this thread.......

[briggsy's girl]

but maybe thats what you mean BG: that some people arent just that supportive type even when its not about TTC>>>>

yep, that's where i was going. for some people, being able to support people just isn't in their nature - no matter what is happening in your life, their dramas are more important. i have days like that (first to admit it) but most of the time i try to put others before me - in a lot of ways, helping my friends when they're in a crisis actually helps me to put my own stuff into perspective and that's always a good thing...

[Jaycee]

WARNING - Parenting, pregnancy and children mentioned

I've just found out this morning that my SIL's IVF attempt was unsuccessful.
I am so very devastated for her, I just don't know what to say to her.
She's been ttc since a year before we started ttc Jake, so 3+ years.
I feel guilty that I was able to fall pregnant so easily while she is still stuck in her ttc journey.
I just wish I had a magic wand that I could wave to make her pregnant.
I just want her to experience the beautiful feeling of motherhood.
It's just not fair!!!
I really don't know what to say to her, I haven't spoken to her yet, MIL informed me this morning, she was going for her blood test today but unfortunately af arrived.
Thanks for letting me vent, I just needed to get this out, I wish I could do more

[butterfly_warrior]

I'm sorry, but you don't always find that people who are pregnant after long term TTC or AC end up shouting it from the rooftops. For many, the disbelief and the worry are so strong that they can't really talk about the pregnancy at all.

BW

[Kahlan]

WARNING - Parenting, pregnancy and children mentioned

I've just found out this morning that my SIL's IVF attempt was unsuccessful.
I am so very devastated for her, I just don't know what to say to her.
(

Hi Janine, so sorry for you and your SIL. Through all my ups and downs of failed cycle, I found what really helped me was when my girlfriend (the only one I told) was just there... she didn't say much. She cried when I cried and we did a lot of hugging... she just listened while I spoke about my fears, doubts, pain...even about how much I hated the situation I was in and sometimes I ranted on about unrelated things as well....she always comes during BT times (she later told me) just in case I needed a shoulder to cry on....so yes sometimes we feel we have to say something but in truth silence empathy speaks louder than any words we could utter. I pray that your SIL's dream come true one day.