Frustration over test results

[wishingbaby]

Hello Ladies,
First off I would like to appoligise if this is a bit of a rant but I really need it.
I have been on Puregon now since January/Febuary starting at 43IU slowing progressing to 125IU and also 50IU of Pregnyl I recently had a Blood Test on Monday 14/04/08 and got the results on Tuesday they were looking good I then had another test on Wednesday and got the results this afternoon. Well these results were a low count and my FS wants me to take 2 weeks break from the meds then start again with another blood test after starting.
So anyway I ask how is it possible for me to get good results on Monday and bad ones on Wednesday I just don't understand how this could happen just when I thought things were starting to look up they come crashing back down again what do I have to do to get the one thing that most women take for granted.
I am not a very religious person but I ask how is it that god gives some women the pleasure of motherhood yet holds out for other women why should it be easier for other women to become pregnant so easliy and for it to be a emotional and mental rollercoster for others.
I know that most of you ladies on this site know exactly what I am going through but it is just really hard and I don't know if I can keep it up I know there are women out there who have been trying for alot longer then myself and have gone through alot more then me so please I ask how did you ladies make it through and someone please tell me that it is all worth it in the end.
I just want for the moment to come when I can hold a tiny precious miracle in my arms and know they are mine.

Thank you Ladies for letting me get this off my chest.

[butterfly_warrior]

Wishingbaby, I'm sorry things aren't going as you'd hoped. I'm afraid I don't have any answers as to why your body isn't responding to puregon in a consistent way. Do you by chance have PCOS? That's been the reason given for my non-response/over-response at different times.

As for finding the strength to continue on with treatment... sometimes it's the simple fact that ending treatment with no baby is far scarier than continuing on. Take it all one day at a time, keep putting one foot in front of the other, one hour at a time if that's all you can cope with.

I know your frustration all too well... I've had many times where I've yelled at God, pleaded with Him... I haven't got an answer yet, but I do know that whatever it takes to finally have a child with my husband - it WILL be worth it. Hang in there!

BW

[scooby]

Hi WB
big big hugs to you. You know i have had it both ways my son was concieved first go and the second, well i am almost 3 years into trying and now doing IVF. You really do take it for granted and its a big slap in the face when it just wont happen, i wont lie most of the time you are ok and you keep going with everything because of the end results, but you will always have bad days, sorry! I too have questioned the whole religion and why thing. Recently in Perth we had a kid on the front of the news paper mag who was 8 monthes pregnant and homeless, at that time i would have been 8 monthes with my angel baby and i was like "who" or "what" makes the decision for a baby to come into that enviroment, instead of my loving, comfortable home and i just dont have an answer. Stay strong ( i know its easier said than done) and the drugs dont help. Know that we are all here for you anytime you need, rants and all. I really hope things are looking up for you soon.

[wishingbaby]

Thank you ladies for your words of encouragement and your honest replys I am more comforted knowing there are other women out there who are going through the same thing as myself so can sympathise with how we are all feeling. I have my good days and I have my bad days but I just keep telling myself the reward in the end is worth it.
Butterfly_Warrior I am A sufferer of PCOS so that could be the cause of the up and down responses to the meds my FS just said she wasn't sure as to why it had happened, she is a very busy FS so unfortantly if I don't keep nagging her I get lost in the pile of client files.
Scooby Thank you for kind response I know the feeling of seeing someone else with babies or pregnant and wondering as to why they have been given that gift and no me. Sometimes it just all seems unfair but I guess it is like they say good things come to those that wait.
Once again thank you both for replys hope we all get what we are striving for soon.

[runnermum]

I feel for you so much too wishingbaby........I am feeling very low myself lately...asking the same questions - why did it happen to them and why not us with such a loving enviroment?

Remember we are here for you to listen and talk to you.........we are all thinking of each other. Many hugs,

Runnermum.