furious - am I overreacting?

[fatgirlslim]

By some crazy miracle i got my period a week early - on the 31st December... I was straight on the phone to the FS and was able to start my Gonal-F injections that night and come under 2009 Medicare safety-net rules.

I was so, so happy and excited - normally I am like clockwork and there was not a hope in hell of us being able to start a cycle in 2009...

Anyway... everything was going smoothly and happily... feeling all loved-up and excited... UNTIL

My husband told me that he told his mother.

HE TOLD HIS MUM.

I know I should be happy that he was so excited he needed to tell his mum...

But I am totally, totally, totally p****d off.

I feel so.... 'robbed'... because of his poor morphology... I will never experience the 'surprise' and the thrill of falling pregnant... I will never miss my period, buy a test and run out of the toilet waving around my BFP...

That will never happen. And I have somehow grown to accept that.

What I can't however, accept - is that now... I will also not get the chance of having my IVF be private... never have the chance of surprising our family with the BFP... and god forbid it doesn't work... we'll now have to have that conversation aswell.

I am hysterical right now... am I overreacting?

L x

[Lily Dust]

awww hun, big . I won't try and justify whether you DH was right or wrong but I guess it probably is a decision that you needed to discuss before he told anyone.

I hated having family circling like voltures (sp?) waiting for that discussion that IVF had yet again not worked. I also worried about the day if I ever did have a successful cycle that they would know from day 1 and DH and I would never get to share that.

I am very sorry that you are feeling this way and I hope you can get DH to see why you didnt want others to know. Good luck with your cycle hun . Hope your 'crazy miracle' is the start of getting your little treasure x

Lily Dust

[Nelle]

Is there any chance your DH can ask your MIL to keep it to herself? And/or ask her not to mention it unless you bring it up first? It sucks that now it won't be your private thing but I guess if you can regain some control over things that would be cool.

[Joeve]

:yeahthat: good logical advice Nelle

[briggsy's girl]

i agree with Nelle on the advice side

i did just want to say - maybe, given it's male factor issues, you DH may feel he needs another outlet to discuss the IVF. being the person in the relationship with the problem that leads to needing assisted conception can be really hard - even with the most understanding partner, it can still feel like you're at "fault" and you need to have an outlet that isn't yout partner. it may be that he is close enough to his mum that she is the outlet that he needs. yes, it's hard that things won't be a surprise, but going through this journey, you need your support networks and if your DH needs that support from his mum...

[BOC]

Is there any chance your DH can ask your MIL to keep it to herself? And/or ask her not to mention it unless you bring it up first? It sucks that now it won't be your private thing but I guess if you can regain some control over things that would be cool.

:yeahthat: and stress to her that you will be under a huge amount of pressure and you would really appreciate her not bringing it up AT ALL, but promise her that if or when you get a positive she will be the first to know.

I went thru the exact same thing hun it's not easy. When we discussed it DH basically said it's his perogative to tell whoever he pleases, and he told EVERYONE! It was a horrible time, the people I thought would be there for me didn't want to know about it, and the ones I thought wouldn't care were in my face all the time. The worst was DH's adult son & his girlfriend, who were LTTTC themselves, and she turned it into a huge competition and was texting and IM-ing me every day with "Are you pregnant yet?". All I wanted was to be left alone. When I miscarried it was almost like she was happy about it, and then when I successfully fall pg before her it all just got nasty and still is not good today.

You definitely need to nip this in the bud hun. Good luck with your cycle, sending you lots of